When you get mad

[thatonekidjacob]

Do you say things you shouldn't say when you get mad at your friends or do you stay in control? How do you deal with it?

[ClaraWho]

Some people are prone to escalating insults or saying personally derogatory comments when angry. This is, however, the fastest way to end a relationship permanently.

The more personal the attack, bringing in known insecurities, history, secrets - the more unforgivable. I've severed all contact with several close friends over the years who went too far. You just don't do that.

So are you talking about random insults that are generic (e.g. Cussing) or targeted, personalised attacks?

I'm odd in that when I get angry with a friend I compliment them as I criticise their action that precipitated the anger, it leaves them confused and descalates the situation. These are people you care about, that shouldn't change because they did one thing wrong. Unless you want rid of them from your life.

My advice if you find you are having problems remaining in control would be to YouTube anger management advice, or get a book.

~ Clara

[Vanilla Cupcake]

It takes a lot to get me mad, I get sad first and then angry, but generally I am in control of my anger unless someone has hurt me.
I do have a problem where I like to get even though, and I do it well.
I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing?

[phuckphace]

I rant about it on the Internet

[Abhorrence]

I rant about it on the Internet
Me too. It's easier to send a message to no-one because getting your anger out on nothing is much better than spilling your feelings to someone and regretting it later on. It is much better to make decisions when you are in a calm state of mind to avoid impulse.

[phuckphace]

I don't mind people spilling their feelings/rants to me, but it seems when I do the same with others (in real life anyway) you can almost see them reaching for the emergency exit button. welp.

[Abyssal Echo]

It really depends on the situation or the mood I'm in at the time. My friends know that because of my bipolar I'm a moody bitch. Usually I stay reasonably calm and walk away. Then rant about on the internet. I'm a good listener, so like phuckphace I usually listen to my friends problems and rants but they aren't willing to listen to mine.

[Babs]

I'm an expert at holding my tongue. I have said things I shouldn't in a fit of rage before, but those instances are few and far between.

If I'm mad, I pace and sort of rant in my head, try to get ahold of my thoughts, and I rant a lot on VT. I'll rant to people in real life, but only if they're angry too so it doesn't bother them and they'll rant too.

[ashdaniel]

Well, there is different type of friendship. The normal friend, close friends , bff and bro. usually I stay in control cause not a lot of things can piss off so bad. If things get so bad that I lose control it mean the end of friendship.

[Straya]

Do you say things you shouldn't say when you get mad at your friends or do you stay in control? How do you deal with it?

i generally stay in control and then let my anger loose on some inanimate object

[BlackParadePixie]

I've said a few things that I regretted later, and was quick to apologize for. Mostly I just yell/scream randomly and throw things...if i'm in my room.

[amgb]

I can say with 100% confidence that I have never once snapped with any of my friends, regardless of how much they get me mad. I don't ever want to snap, and if I do, I'd be beating myself up over it. I'd say I can stay in control, the most I would do is raise my voice. When I do get mad at them, which does happen, I keep it inside to keep them away from how I feel because I don't want to hurt them. And even if it was something so bad that I'd have to drop the friendship, I'll still try and forgive.

Not sure if advice is welcomed, but no matter who you get mad with, cool off time is important. Even if it's just a couple of moments and deep breaths, even if it's an hour or a day or a week. Take that time to clear your thoughts and make sure the next time you speak to them you won't be attacking them with anger. Approaching something with an open heart doesn't mean that nothing will go wrong, it just means there's a better chance of things working out~

[StoppingTom]

I haven't gotten mad in a very long time. I get annoyed or exasperated, but anger is just an emotion I don't really do. More often than not, I'm the one my friends come to when they need to vent or have to get something off their chest, I've been called a Black Box because I remember everything and keep people's secrets hidden from others.