Fell in love with my best friend?

[ZzeWatermelon]

I fell in love with my best friend, he's litterally LIKE ME. Like a soulmate. I love spending time with him.
I help him out with girl problems and all that.
And when I got to know him better I fell for him (even if I found him incredibly handsome since the day we met) and I told him. He rejected me and we had that weird slight 2 week pause of no talking and our friendship is even greater and stronger since.
What should I do? I can't forget about him... It's the first time that I'm in love in such a strong way... and for some reason my gut feeling is telling me that it's not over yet...
When he describes the girl of his dreams, it's like a description of me I swear, personality wise/hobbies wise etc. But I guess he doesn't find me physically appealing/sexually appealing enough to date me.
I'm on the chubbier side, that's why I guess...

It hurts like hell. Since I really care about him, and he cares about me. What should I do?

[Exotic Babe]

Sorry to hear that. But since he already rejected you, I don't think there's much you can do, at least he didn't act like it was the end of your friendship. It's very likely that he likes you personality wise, kind of logical seeing as you're best friends, but unfortunately doesn't feel physically attracted enough. You can always hope that he someday changes his mind and starts seeing you as someone more than a friend, but that may never happen... You should probably try to get over the crush you have on him, because I imagine it can be hard to hang out with a guy you really like but who sees you nothing more than his best friend, and it could really affect your friendship in a longer perspective. However, if you'd want him to find you more physically appealing, you could always try to like dress up for him a little more or stuff like that. (You also said you're on the chubbier side. I don't know what kind of 'chubby' you are and if working out would help in your case, but you can always try that...) But I'd say you shouldn't try and change your looks for any guy, if you're happy with them yourself. But good luck!

[ZzeWatermelon]

Sorry to hear that. But since he already rejected you, I don't think there's much you can do, at least he didn't act like it was the end of your friendship. It's very likely that he likes you personality wise, kind of logical seeing as you're best friends, but unfortunately doesn't feel physically attracted enough. You can always hope that he someday changes his mind and starts seeing you as someone more than a friend, but that may never happen... You should probably try to get over the crush you have on him, because I imagine it can be hard to hang out with a guy you really like but who sees you nothing more than his best friend, and it could really affect your friendship in a longer perspective. However, if you'd want him to find you more physically appealing, you could always try to like dress up for him a little more or stuff like that. (You also said you're on the chubbier side. I don't know what kind of 'chubby' you are and if working out would help in your case, but you can always try that...) But I'd say you shouldn't try and change your looks for any guy, if you're happy with them yourself. But good luck!

Thank you for answering so fast, it was very helpful. At least I am happy that I understood the situation well. Well I am on the chubbier side, I am not thin at all, but I consider myself more curvy than fat, I am still confident. And I know that at least some of my friends consider me pretty, so if he doesn't I don't blame him. Everyone has their own preferences physically. I certainly work out less than I used to because of a serious lack of time in the week, which means I can only work out in the weekends. I walk lots though and I eat healthy, and I drink lots of water, so I don't put on more weight. I feel happy as I am. :) But considering the fact I'm sixteen, and that sixteen year old guys (he's 15 actually) like really skinny girls, with nice butts, that's not even near to my body type xD
And I believe that yes, changing looks or attitude or whatever to please a guy is not a solution.
But since I am optimistic, and I always hope for the best, I will continue hoping for it, maybe one day he'll change his mind. Also the reason behind me getting friendzoned I think is that since he talks to me about his problems, he considers me his therapist in a way, not girlfriend material. But I guess with time it can change...

[Uniquemind]

I'm going to say something really politically incorrect, but nevertheless is still true and will be something feminism has to surrender in their argumentative platform.

Beauty unfortunately matters, as superficial and as sucky as that sounds it does.
The error society has is that nobody understood nutrition well, and so fad easy-way diets become the talking point, rather than dieting and exercising correctly.

Only in the past 2 years has it finally broken through that healthy is sexy, and to do that you have to have a diet with tons of colorful foods high in nutrients, rather than just calories.

I promote always putting your best forward when flirting or dating and if that means you have to diet or get in shape to attempt to turn on the charm, so be it.

If my partner let himself go, I wouldn't be too pleased either and certainly society has a double standard in empathizing with females who leave loser males who have let themselves go from their former glory.

I argue equality for all and that you have to accept that superficial stuff matters.

Now don't be anorexic or bulimic now, that's another pitfall to avoid. But certainly motivation to be your most tempting self is not a bad goal or ideal to have in life.

[ZzeWatermelon]

Yeah but the thing is that still quite a bit of guys find me attractive, and if he doesn't it's his loss. I'm not going to change for the sake of being more attractive, or sexy in the man's eyes. I feel great the way I am. :) But yes I know that if I was skinnier than he would probably like me back.

[Exotic Babe]

Well, if you're happy with yourself, you don't have to change yourself for him, I totally agree! If you'd like to exercise and work out yourself, do it, but if you'd only do it for him, there's no need.

[Uniquemind]

Well, if you're happy with yourself, you don't have to change yourself for him, I totally agree! If you'd like to exercise and work out yourself, do it, but if you'd only do it for him, there's no need.

That works too. In the end it's all dependent on what you want.

[ZzeWatermelon]

At least I have the chance of being his best friend, and I won't lose him in some stupid relationship. :) That is a positive thing as well.
And he cares about me still, and it's sweet. So I thought about it even more and I can say that... It's overall positive. Maybe he'll come around andif he doesn't I surely found the best friend anyone could have. And it's totally fine by me.

[outback4]

2 things:

1) don't end the friendship because you weren't able to have a relationship romantically.

2) he might be worried if he is with you romantically he won't have you as a friend.

I kinda felt that way because my best friend told me she had a major crush on me and I politely said no. Because I didn't want to lose her friendship.

Now I have a beautiful girlfriend (different girl) and she's friends with the girl who's my best friend. And me and my best friend still talk all the time and have the friendship we had before, and she's dating another dude who I'm friends with. So it's awesome. It all worked out great. We just never let it ruin anything. We moved forward :)

[ZzeWatermelon]

Yep, I respect these rules and I totally agree with them :)

[ZzeWatermelon]

A friend told me that that guy is just scared for his reputation/popularity, the way people view him..., and if he went out with me his reputation would be "destroyed" cause I'm not the hottest out there.
But I think that it's just a rumor. IDK