bfldworker
December 26th, 2015, 10:43 PM
This is not about me. But it confuses me a bit.
I have a friend (who will remain nameless) who is the same age as me. His mother and father separated when he was 4 (2004)and the divorce was finalized when he was 6 (2006). When he turned 6 his mother met someone and then in 2007 they married. His father moved to the other side of the continent and married someone he met online, and for all intents and purposes stopped talking to him and the only time his father communicated was when his mother (fathers mother) harrssed him to speak to his son and daughter. Didn't pay child support until the threat of a warrant was dangled over his head.
Since his.mom married the guy she met, he has treated both him and his sister as if they were his own, helped raise him, was there for every single birthday, Christmas, school function, skinned knee, good grade, bad grade, good times and bad. He plays games with them, has shown my friend everything he knows about electronics, Computers (repair, networking, custom builds), cell phone repair (rooting, jailbreaking, custom ROM, etc, etc). And his step father listens to everything my friends has to say about the things he likes and dislikes.
He and his sister look at their step father as their dad/father. And they call him dad, and from what I have been told it is by their choice.
In May of last year after years of trying to get their biological father to even acknowledge them and finding out he was cheating on his then current wife with his step daughters best friend. Who was 15 when it started , they got fed up and discusted and wanted their dad to adopt them as their own.
Well that got back to their biological fathers mother and in a act of utter narcissism she had her husband and other son drive across country and if necessary kidnap him to come back because she was afraid of never seeing them again. So since May of last year his father has been living two towns over with the girl he cheated on his wife with (who is now 18), acting like a dictator. And making his life a misrible, lying, breaking promises, making motions to courts to get full custody of him and his sister.
Because of this he has written his father off completely because of the drama and the fact he sees his father as a pedophile for screwing a minor while he was 21 years older then her.
Well in July of this year, his dthough a job offer with Boeing in Washington State and his father did not give permission for him and his sister to move with their.mom and dad. The reason was because his father feels that he knows what is better for his kids, even though he wasn't in their life and doesn't even know what they like or dislike.
And since then my friend has been absolutely and totally pissed and hates his father. And he keeps saying, "why does he want something to do with me now when he wanted nothing to do me, didnt pay child support, never called and avoided me before".
He has been relying on me for support and comes over to vent.
I guess the questions are.
Why would someone do this to his kid, fully well knowing that he was perfectly happy when he wasn't hete and now is utterly misrible because he is here.
What's the best way to help?
I have a friend (who will remain nameless) who is the same age as me. His mother and father separated when he was 4 (2004)and the divorce was finalized when he was 6 (2006). When he turned 6 his mother met someone and then in 2007 they married. His father moved to the other side of the continent and married someone he met online, and for all intents and purposes stopped talking to him and the only time his father communicated was when his mother (fathers mother) harrssed him to speak to his son and daughter. Didn't pay child support until the threat of a warrant was dangled over his head.
Since his.mom married the guy she met, he has treated both him and his sister as if they were his own, helped raise him, was there for every single birthday, Christmas, school function, skinned knee, good grade, bad grade, good times and bad. He plays games with them, has shown my friend everything he knows about electronics, Computers (repair, networking, custom builds), cell phone repair (rooting, jailbreaking, custom ROM, etc, etc). And his step father listens to everything my friends has to say about the things he likes and dislikes.
He and his sister look at their step father as their dad/father. And they call him dad, and from what I have been told it is by their choice.
In May of last year after years of trying to get their biological father to even acknowledge them and finding out he was cheating on his then current wife with his step daughters best friend. Who was 15 when it started , they got fed up and discusted and wanted their dad to adopt them as their own.
Well that got back to their biological fathers mother and in a act of utter narcissism she had her husband and other son drive across country and if necessary kidnap him to come back because she was afraid of never seeing them again. So since May of last year his father has been living two towns over with the girl he cheated on his wife with (who is now 18), acting like a dictator. And making his life a misrible, lying, breaking promises, making motions to courts to get full custody of him and his sister.
Because of this he has written his father off completely because of the drama and the fact he sees his father as a pedophile for screwing a minor while he was 21 years older then her.
Well in July of this year, his dthough a job offer with Boeing in Washington State and his father did not give permission for him and his sister to move with their.mom and dad. The reason was because his father feels that he knows what is better for his kids, even though he wasn't in their life and doesn't even know what they like or dislike.
And since then my friend has been absolutely and totally pissed and hates his father. And he keeps saying, "why does he want something to do with me now when he wanted nothing to do me, didnt pay child support, never called and avoided me before".
He has been relying on me for support and comes over to vent.
I guess the questions are.
Why would someone do this to his kid, fully well knowing that he was perfectly happy when he wasn't hete and now is utterly misrible because he is here.
What's the best way to help?