I've caught feelings :(

[AnxietyAndIL]

I'm going to start right from the beginning because I like to write a lot.

My best friend is a girl who I've known my entire life. We love eachother like family.

My other friend is a guy who I've only been friends with for a year or two, and he used to be my best friend but he hasn't been acting like the caring person he used to be.

So basically, I was talking to my best friend (ill call her Girl for this purpose) about how our parents think we're essentially together and since then I've realized how much I want to be with her as more than friends. I have feelings for her that are much stronger than those shared by people who are just friends. I don't think she has any idea how I feel, and I'm not sure if I should tell her or not. I don't want to ruin any future chance at being with her and I know that I can't expect her to just leave her BF for me, but at the same time, this is eating at me and it's only getting worse. I can't crack this.

Please give me advice. Anything is soooo appreciated. I'm so confused and I have no idea what to do...

TLDR; My best friend (female) is dating my friend (male). I've known her for my entire life and I love her like she's family, but now I've gotten romantic feelings for her.

[ashdyn]

It is kind of unfair to expect or ask her to break up with your friend so this is kinda tough especially cause he's your friend too.

If I was you I'd just wait it out. If it ends with them, you'll have to go through bro code ex dating procedures and let him into the loop about dating her after an appropriate amount of time has passed. OR you could take the riskier path and just tell her. Just be upfront about it and tell her you're not trying to break her up or anything but that you've really developed these feelings and you can't help it. Tell her you're just putting it out there because you needed her to know.

[SkyClad33605]

Just walk away.

Every minute you spend obsessing over this girl is a minute you aren't spending meeting new women. She's living her life, you need to live yours. She won't dump him for you. She won't care that you "waited".

You are cheating yourself out of happiness by limiting yourself to just her.

[AnxietyAndIL]

It is kind of unfair to expect or ask her to break up with your friend so this is kinda tough especially cause he's your friend too.

If I was you I'd just wait it out. If it ends with them, you'll have to go through bro code ex dating procedures and let him into the loop about dating her after an appropriate amount of time has passed. OR you could take the riskier path and just tell her. Just be upfront about it and tell her you're not trying to break her up or anything but that you've really developed these feelings and you can't help it. Tell her you're just putting it out there because you needed her to know.

I know i can't expect her to do anything about it but what to you think I could say to preserve our friendship?

Just walk away.

Every minute you spend obsessing over this girl is a minute you aren't spending meeting new women. She's living her life, you need to live yours. She won't dump him for you. She won't care that you "waited".

You are cheating yourself out of happiness by limiting yourself to just her.

I don't expect her to. I have no expectation for returned feelings at all. If at some point she does, great. But she has a boyfriend who I'm also friends with (they met through me). I'm not just going to walk away from a friendship with someone who LOVES and CARES about me. I never said I was limiting myself. If I met a nice girl tomorrow, I would not hesitate to allow myself to be open to getting with her.

[AnxietyAndIL]

Any more help would be very appreciated. I really have no idea what to do...

[Tesserax]

Just wait, see how her relationship goes. If it's fine, you'll just have to power through it and let it go. If it goes badly, then be there to comfort her, but don't act romantic. Just make sure she knows you'll always be there for her. If she questions why he left her in any way, tell her that you have no clue because you think she's perfect, but don't tell her directly that you like her. That thought will stick with her, and she'll think about it and probably realize that you do like her, or even love her. But give her time, let her know that you care very much, and when she's back to normal, just go for it.

Just be cool and patient, play it safe and carefully. If you truly love her as a friend, or even just love her in a romantic way, you should be happy that she's happy in the relationship that she has. Oh yeah, if she tries anything, or there's a situation where she might cheat on the guy with you, because you two are clearly very close, be the man you should be and tell her no, it's wrong. Not while she's with the other guy. It's just the right thing to do.

Sometimes you just have to let things go. It hurts, but if it doesn't happen when you want it to, there's almost no point wasting time moping over it. You just have to tough it up, and try to fight your way over your feelings. You'll get over it eventually, and then you can move on and try to find yourself in a better situation.

[Professional Russian]

From personal experience just keep being a good friend because when her bf leaves her she'll need you and if you just go in thinking you'll tell her you love her and she'll be with you you'd be wrong. That's what I did and I lost my best friend and the one person I loved. Just take slow and easy and if its meant to be itll happen. If its not you'll still have your best friend.

[Melodic]

Move on for now. It doesn't matter how close you are with either of them. You shouldn't intervene on someone's relationship. If something happens in the long run, great. Don't focus on that happening though.

[ashdyn]

If you don't expect to have her then just wait it out.