Labels

[Sherman]

Is there really a need to label ourselves? I don't know what I am, I like both boys and girls but I haven't had a relationship with either so I don't know which I prefer. I don't want to label myself as gay because I don't think I am and I don't want to label myself as bisexual because I don't know if I am. I see everyone quick to label themselves but is it really necessary to do that? I just want to be myself and myself only.

[northy]

No, labels are not necessary and most people either don't label themselves or take a long time to think about it. It makes me feel more certain about what I am.
People are not quick to label themselves and you don't have to decide on one. Plenty of people just go with what they want to.

[Abhorrence]

Labels are very helpful but also very constricting. I think it's helpful when you are gay or bisexual because obviously having that clear label allows you to openly try and find a same-sex partner. However, slapping the labels gay and straight on things constrict a person greatly. I identify as gay but I also don't think I'm completely closed off to being in a relationship with a girl, which means my label of gay isn't totally accurate and if I tell a girl that I'm gay then she would likely never want to be with me.
There's downsides and upsides to labels.

[Elysium]

"To define is to limit." - Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

I think it depends on the person. For some people, it's comforting to be able to identify as one thing or another, to know where and how you stand and operate and be able to confidently belong to something. For others, it's too restrictive, limiting, or confining, and it's easier not to bother at all and just let things happen as they may. I don't think one is better than the other. And I don't think there's any reason you need to be consistent - if you feel like labelling one part of your identity but not another, that's fine. Or if you change your mind at any point once, twice, a hundred times, that's fine, too. As long as you are only talking about yourself when you talk about the decision to label or not, you can do no wrong. It's your duty to respect others when they do or don't label themselves, no matter what - because even if you don't agree with it, even if you think it's bullshit or nonsense, it doesn't really change much of anything. So you may as well not be a douchebag.

Personally, labels don't entirely work for me, either. Particularly when it comes to sexuality. I've called myself plenty of things jokingly, but when it comes down to how I seriously identify myself, I just say I'm not straight. Period, end of story. Enough information. Sometimes I'll include that I'm asexual, which is a label I do comfortably identify with to some degree. But nothing more than that. And I'm okay with that and my friends are okay with that and I don't feel the need to worry or fuss about it. So no, tl; dr, you don't need a label. Not everyone uses or needs one. And that's fine.

[Sherman]

Thanks for the help, it means a lot.

[ptz7649]

No, I think you are right and that there shouldn't be a need to label ourselves but for me, it helps avoid confusion I guess!

[Gustavo_Owns]

Oh look who has a question now Jerry lol :D
I really thought u didn't.
I agree with u, u don't need labels. Labels are just words to make it easy for people who has doubts or who didn't discovered themselfs yet. Word don't describe you, just a tiny part of u because no one is 100% Straight or 100% Gay.

[james wolf]

I agree that labels aren't really necessary, although it is sometimes easier to help stupid people comprehend your sexuality. To be honest I think most people would get it if you told them "I love who I love"

[Zachary G]

I think labels are pretty certain: what I mean by that is, when you say that you are one or the other, its kinda final (not set in stone), like ending your sentence with a period. I dont believe in labels, I just believe in who I am and am happy with all that I am no matter my sexuality.

[Desuetude]

Labels can be helpful to just give you some stability and direction in knowing who you are/what you like but personally I tend to keep what I label myself, to myself. I'm attracted to the people I find attractive, I am who I am. I don't need to be shouting out these things to every person I come into contact with. I understand that they help to sort people and group them, finding out 'who you have a chance with' etc. etc. But in the end labels only constrict and trying to break free once you've shoved yourself into a certain box can be extremely difficult.

[Bluebyrd]

Labels aren't necessary at all!

[Hermes]

It seems to me the end game is to find happiness, usually with a sexual and romantic partner. Some people may find such a partner by chance or because the partner concerned seeks them out while others have to look for one and to do that one has to know who to be looking for and where he might find them.

So you need to be able to answer two questions:

1. Am I looking for a girl as a potential partner?
2. Am I looking for a guy as a potential partner?

The answer to either could be yes or no. If giving yourself a label helps you answer those questions (for example straight: girl=yes, guy=no / bi: girl=yes, guy=yes / gay girl=no, guy=yes / asexual: girl=no, guy=no) then it has done something useful but you could also address those questions directly by weighing up your attraction to each sex. The problem when assigning labels is that they are always an approximation and not everyone's sexuality corresponds to a neat label. Once you have assigned a label it can then be seen as setting out what is acceptable which is also the wrong approach. If you struggle to find a suitable label then go back to those two questions. If you can answer them honestly that's all that matters.