I got suspended from school today :(

[Vanilla Cupcake]

At recess today, some girl pushed me in the mud and was so upset that I punched her in the face!
Nothing happens to her but I got suspended for 2 days.
It's not fair! My mom also grounded me and got really mad.
Why is what I did so bad? She deserved it. :mad:

[SethfromMI]

Did she deserve it? yea she probably did? should you have reacted differently? yea. don't get me wrong, I understand why you did and would react the same way myself (right or wrong), but in those situations got to know where you are at and should know, fair or not, the school will not let she pushed you in the mud as an excuse to punch her. she def should have been suspended as well though no doubt

[Judean Zealot]

That's the kind of shit everyone has to deal with in school. It sucks, it's stupid, but that's the way it is.

[Hudor]

There was an uncannily similar thread that came up in the summer holidays this year. Only it was a guy who punched and his father grounded him. Experiencing some sort of déjà vu
Anyway it's a bad situation. Sorry for you but that's the kind of shit that teaches you to deal with things when they don't go as you expected and can often be unfair.

[Uniquemind]

2 more extra days of vacation.

I always though suspensions were weak punishments, they don't mean anything in the long run unless a violent behavior pattern is uncovered or formed, or so I'm told.

Regardless some of the most successful people (richest) experienced suspension at one time or another.

What you did was bad, and don't do it again. But you'll get through this.

The more important question is do you feel remorse for what you did? Or do you only feel bad because of the punishments you've received?

If it's the latter, you might be a sociopath.

Also acknowledge that every punch to anybody's head is a potential cause of death blow.

[Magenta]

I'm not saying she's in the right at all because pushing you in the mud is awful but being pushed into mud vs. punching someone in the face? One is significantly more violent of an act than the other and yeah, the school is going to suspend someone for that. Have you ever considered that maybe violence is not the answer to your problems even if she deserved it? Be glad it's just a suspension. In the real world, it would be an assault and battery charge.

Sorry, that's just how it is. Attacking someone like that only escalates the issue and that's something you have to learn, punishment included. You could have just told someone what she did but you brought it to the next level. That's on you, not her.

If it's the latter, you might be a sociopath.

Or she might just be a stubborn teenager who is rightfully pissed off at another person but doesn't see what she did was wrong. Being glad you punched someone who was being a dick doesn't make you a sociopath. Doesn't make punching them okay but it most definitely does not make you a sociopath. That's a bit of an overreaction.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

You know what, I don't feel bad, she has been bugging me for a while and she pushed me so I would purposely fall in the mud and then laughed at me.
I feel zero remorse because she deserved it. I'm not a bad person, I have never done anything like that before.
What else should I have done? Why does everyone stick up for the one who started it.

[Magenta]

You know what, I don't feel bad, she has been bugging me for a while and she pushed me so I would purposely fall in the mud and then laughed at me.
I feel zero remorse because she deserved it. I'm not a bad person, I have never done anything like that before.
What else should I have done? Why does everyone stick up for the one who started it.

No one is sticking up for her. But had you gone to someone else to tell them what happened, maybe she would have been punished. Instead, you took it a step further and now you have to face the repercussions of it. What you should have done was either confront this girl verbally (and politely) and if she didn't stop, approached someone in a position of authority to deal with the problem. You don't get anywhere with punching people. And while you got covered in mud... okay, sucks, but punching someone in the face? You could have seriously hurt her, even if you didn't mean it like that. That type of violence in schools isn't tolerated, end of story. No one is necessarily defending her but they are calling you out for behaviour that isn't acceptable. In terms of the conflict, you were the one to act out the most. Sorry, that's just how it is.

God, I sound like such an adult. But I've been through this. I've been picked on and oh man, I've gotten my revenge but I never got caught. And no, I'm not going to say how. But never was I violent with someone. So she's a brat who likes to be mean to others. But did she really deserve physical violence? No, probably not. That's why people are favouring her. She may deserve it to you and I'm sympathetic but you're still in the wrong and honestly, you should apologize to her.

[Uniquemind]

No one is sticking up for her. But had you gone to someone else to tell them what happened, maybe she would have been punished. Instead, you took it a step further and now you have to face the repercussions of it. What you should have done was either confront this girl verbally (and politely) and if she didn't stop, approached someone in a position of authority to deal with the problem. You don't get anywhere with punching people. And while you got covered in mud... okay, sucks, but punching someone in the face? You could have seriously hurt her, even if you didn't mean it like that. That type of violence in schools isn't tolerated, end of story. No one is necessarily defending her but they are calling you out for behaviour that isn't acceptable. In terms of the conflict, you were the one to act out the most. Sorry, that's just how it is.

God, I sound like such an adult. But I've been through this. I've been picked on and oh man, I've gotten my revenge but I never got caught. And no, I'm not going to say how. But never was I violent with someone. So she's a brat who likes to be mean to others. But did she really deserve physical violence? No, probably not. That's why people are favouring her. She may deserve it to you and I'm sympathetic but you're still in the wrong and honestly, you should apologize to her.

Or she could just move on, she doesn't have to apologize sincerely.

She just needs to learn from this.

And how to get smarter with defending personal boundaries with pre-text, without use of force.

[Magenta]

Or she could just move on, she doesn't have to apologize sincerely.

She just needs to learn from this.

And how to get smarter with defending personal boundaries with pre-text, without use of force.

The reason I say to apologize is to de-escalate the situation. If you were someone who found joy in picking on others and then got punched in the face, would you stop? No, probably not. You'd only try to get back even worse and pick a bigger fight.

I once was bullied by a girl I ended up verbally ripping to shreds. I knew she was going to keep coming after me after that so I apologized. She was so shocked, she never spoke to me again. It's not a flawless plan but the best way to learn is to take steps to fix the situation, not just leave it be and hope it doesn't get worse and provoke more violence.

Sometimes the most valuable thing you need to learn in life is to just suck it up and just do what it is you need to do to make the situation better, even if you don't necessarily want to or feel entirely sincere, though pretending tends to help.

[AutumnWinds]

At recess today, some girl pushed me in the mud and was so upset that I punched her in the face!
Nothing happens to her but I got suspended for 2 days.
It's not fair! My mom also grounded me and got really mad.
Why is what I did so bad? She deserved it. :mad:

i'm sorry to hear that. its completely unfair that she didn't get any punishment at all.

tell me you at least left a good sized mark ;)

[ZACK0]

at least it wasn't permanent you gotta admit 2 days off isn't that bad and i promise it'll all blow over soon.

[AutumnWinds]

2 more extra days of vacation.

I always though suspensions were weak punishments, they don't mean anything in the long run unless a violent behavior pattern is uncovered or formed, or so I'm told.

Regardless some of the most successful people (richest) experienced suspension at one time or another.

What you did was bad, and don't do it again. But you'll get through this.

The more important question is do you feel remorse for what you did? Or do you only feel bad because of the punishments you've received?

If it's the latter, you might be a sociopath.

Also acknowledge that every punch to anybody's head is a potential cause of death blow.

no offense intended, but i think it;s worth pointing out that it's very very unlikely that not feeling remorse for punching someone who just pushed you is in fact evidence of sociopathy.

...unless, of course, you were kidding, then i need to learn to read text based jokes, better. :whoops:

[Vanilla Cupcake]

Hello again,

Instead of quoting everyone that replied, I will just say Thankyou for all the advice and support. I have had time to think about what happened and I'm still not sorry for what I did because it was her fault and she shouldn't be so mean to me. If your going to be mean and bully an innocent person then you need to be prepared for what could happen don't you think? I may have punched her but it wasn't that hard and she didn't cry or bleed or anything, I'm not exactly a big strong girl.
I feel this need for revenge when people hurt and bully people. I may not punch her again if it happens again but I will get revenge on her another way because why should I let her bully me.

[Stand-Tall]

I bodyslammed a kid on the pavement a few days ago because he kicked me in the nuts. No teacher even saw it lmao. We thought he died before he got up like 2 minutes later

[Sports Boy]

I feel a little different than most. I'm not a violent person normally but I'm not taking shit from anyone. So, Vanilla Cupcake, I'm with you. If someone feels as though it's okay to lay there hands on me to cause me either harm or embarrassment, I'm going to react just like Vanilla Cupcake did. If it means getting suspended, or other forms of punishment, so be it. I bet no one else would try to lay their hands on me again.

[Harrier]

You just shouldn't have done it at school. She deserved it but school had no choice but suspend you, actually it could've been longer suspension. She may even be laughing that you go the suspension. But it's really no big deal, you get 2 days off, just make sure you get caught up in school when you get back and IF you two ever go at it again , make sure it's off campus.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

I've now started home schooling, I like it so much better, no more drama, shorter days, And my mom is happy too because it is this age that is the hardest and she just wants me to be happy and safe from all that teenage stuff.

[Uniquemind]

All I'm going to add is that the politics of "zero tolerance for violence" as nationwide school policy I think has backfired and hurts society more than helps.

It doesn't seem that the threat of suspension or expulsion actually deters many fights, the fights happen anyway and then schools lose their students and funding overtime, and those who are displaced due to suspension or expulsion become delinquents and small time criminals in many cases then being a problem for society at large.

Not everyone can do the homeschooling thing.

[Uranus]

I'm sorry to hear that :(
I hope you didn't get hurt or anything.
I agree with SethfromMI
It was not right what she did, and yea she deserved it but you should have reacted differently and she should have gotten suspended as well. I'm sorry to hear you're grounded, I don't think you should be

[EmmaButler]

Well she should have been punished for pushing you but I think you did also need to be punished for punching her back. A grounding is a lot less than what I'd have got!