For the girls...

[justindw199]

Hello everyone. Quick question for the girls on here.

If you're reading this, you've most likely read my last few posts, and you know I've been tearing myself down lately. This is just my attempt to right that downward spiral.

So on to the actual question: Would you date a guy like me?

Obviously you'd need to know more about me so here's a list:
-16 years old
-Straight
-Very kind and caring heart
-Has been badly hurt before by other people
-Loves animals
-Obsessed with airplanes, has an interest in almost anything with an engine
-Moderately overweight
-Would do anything to help the ones he cares about
-Kinda shy, but incredibly outgoing
-Suffers from depression quite often
-Has self-confidence issues
-Low self-esteem
-Raised an atheist, but recently converted to Christianity
-Accepting of all races, religions, and personalities.
-Wants to have kids some day.
-Wants to wait until he is certain he wants to marry someone to have sex.
-Has a tendency to over-think things.
-Only child
-Loves things like Doctor Who and Star Wars
-Enjoys video games.
-Personally despises having deeper conversations over text, much prefers talking over the phone or in person.

That's pretty much all there is to me that I can think of right now. Please note this isn't me looking for a girlfriend, I'm just trying to see if there are actually girls out there that would consider me as a potential boyfriend, and would give me a shot. I just need the self-confidence boost right now. I personally don't think an LDR will work for me.

[Uniquemind]

The tendency for depression and low-self esteem are the biggest issues.

Because it's how badly it impacts you that will affect any hypothetical relationship, if I end up being the emotional crutch repeatedly, I don't know if I could handle that stress on top of my own.

[justindw199]

The thing is I've had these problems all my life. I have no idea how to fix it, it only seems to get worse over time.

[Uniquemind]

The thing is I've had these problems all my life. I have no idea how to fix it, it only seems to get worse over time.

Some of it could be genetic, other factors could be your perspective on life and how you handle stress which you have some degree or control over, but not the former.

Anything else you'd have to see a therapist or a doctor.

But some studies have said that during puberty you enter a depression phase and with time it wears off when you get to your 20's and 30's and onward.

But we're going off topic it's now a thread that sounds more like the psych ward or general hospital thread.



Everything about you seems fine, but it's easy to look good on paper or text, it's always how you handle yourself in the real world face to face that matters.

[justindw199]

Some of it could be genetic, other factors could be your perspective on life and how you handle stress which you have some degree or control over, but not the former.

Anything else you'd have to see a therapist or a doctor.

But some studies have said that during puberty you enter a depression phase and with time it wears off when you get to your 20's and 30's and onward.

But we're going off topic it's now a thread that sounds more like the psych ward or general hospital thread.



Everything about you seems fine, but it's easy to look good on paper or text, it's always how you handle yourself in the real world face to face that matters.

Agreed, thank you anyways. I may make a post there later.

[Melodic]

I wouldn't say depression should be a big issue as the right person will accept that. Low self esteem however can be pretty hard when it comes to finding the right relationship. More than often, you end up attracting the wrong types of people which obviously happened since you stated you've gotten hurt by other people.

Really it's just a matter of changing your perspective that everything isn't as negative as it seems and the only person that can make you happy is you. It sounds complicated at first. I was told this countless times before being hit with an experience that made me realize I was really just doing it to myself. I kept putting myself back in the same thoughts and situations and not changing to a different approach. Now, I wouldn't say I'm completely happy with my life, but I'm more content with how it is and I'm not depressed.

[justindw199]

I wouldn't say depression should be a big issue as the right person will accept that. Low self esteem however can be pretty hard when it comes to finding the right relationship. More than often, you end up attracting the wrong types of people which obviously happened since you stated you've gotten hurt by other people.

Really it's just a matter of changing your perspective that everything isn't as negative as it seems and the only person that can make you happy is you. It sounds complicated at first. I was told this countless times before being hit with an experience that made me realize I was really just doing it to myself. I kept putting myself back in the same thoughts and situations and not changing to a different approach. Now, I wouldn't say I'm completely happy with my life, but I'm more content with how it is and I'm not depressed.

Thank you for the kind words. I try my best. My depression just seems to come in phases, sometimes I'll be content, other times I just feel miserable. Thanks regardless though.

[Uniquemind]

Thank you for the kind words. I try my best. My depression just seems to come in phases, sometimes I'll be content, other times I just feel miserable. Thanks regardless though.

To a degree that's normal, but if it is extreme you might want to look at mood disorders.

I only say it's a hard thing because when someone is depressed or has low self-esteem I've noticed they're communication with their partner suffers.

[justindw199]

To a degree that's normal, but if it is extreme you might want to look at mood disorders.

I only say it's a hard thing because when someone is depressed or has low self-esteem I've noticed they're communication with their partner suffers.

It used to be pretty extreme, but that was only because of things people did to me. Now it's just really feeling lonely. And what do you mean by communication?

[Uniquemind]

It used to be pretty extreme, but that was only because of things people did to me. Now it's just really feeling lonely. And what do you mean by communication?

The core aspect of keeping a relationship stable between partners, once you have a partner. It's a vital variable, but don't worry about that yet.


Often times I've seen relationships where partner A says things to partner B, like "go away", "you don't understand", and really closes themselves off from help and in doing so loses awareness of everything their partner does do for them, coming across as ungrateful and abusive.

So that's what I meant about depression influencing communication breakdown once a relationship has started.

[justindw199]

The core aspect of keeping a relationship stable between partners, once you have a partner. It's a vital variable, but don't worry about that yet.


Often times I've seen relationships where partner A says things to partner B, like "go away", "you don't understand", and really closes themselves off from help and in doing so loses awareness of everything their partner does do for them, coming across as ungrateful and abusive.

So that's what I meant about depression influencing communication breakdown once a relationship has started.

In that case, that isn't an issue for me. I never push anyone away for any reason. I would think that whoever I end up being with, if anyone, would be the closest person to me and the person I'd talk to about anything that was bothering me. That's what we would be there for each other for, right?

[Uniquemind]

In that case, that isn't an issue for me. I never push anyone away for any reason. I would think that whoever I end up being with, if anyone, would be the closest person to me and the person I'd talk to about anything that was bothering me. That's what we would be there for each other for, right?

Guess you don't have anything to worry about then. Cool!

[Vanilla Cupcake]

I think you sound really nice. I think airplanes are cool. As for the depression, what do you do when your depressed? I think I'm kinda depressed too. I don't cry or talk about it, but I'm just quiet and I can't wait to die sometimes. I don't think about suicide or anything, I just think life sucks!

[justindw199]

I think you sound really nice. I think airplanes are cool. As for the depression, what do you do when your depressed? I think I'm kinda depressed too. I don't cry or talk about it, but I'm just quiet and I can't wait to die sometimes. I don't think about suicide or anything, I just think life sucks!

I feel exactly the same when I'm depressed. And thank you for the kind words!

[Vanilla Cupcake]

I feel exactly the same when I'm depressed. And thank you for the kind words!

Your welcome. I know you will find your love one day, there is someone for everyone! :)

[justindw199]

Your welcome. I know you will find your love one day, there is someone for everyone! :)

Thank you so much! I really hope so. Being unable to find love is one of the worst feelings I've felt.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

Thank you so much! I really hope so. Being unable to find love is one of the worst feelings I've felt.

But your still only 16, so you have lots of time. Do you fly planes?
I bet girls would love that! You also like horses I see and do you own a horse?
That would be fun to horseback ride with someone!
I've only horseback riden one time, it was enjoyable.

[justindw199]

But your still only 16, so you have lots of time. Do you fly planes?
I bet girls would love that! You also like horses I see and do you own a horse?
That would be fun to horseback ride with someone!
I've only horseback riden one time, it was enjoyable.

Yeah actually, I fly a lot, around 3-4 hours a week on average. I don't own any horses yet, but we plan on getting some soon! I haven't ridden a ton either, but I plan to learn. Over the summers I volunteer at this ranch that does therapeutic riding for disabled kids. I work with the horses 7 hours a day, usually 5 days a week.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

Yeah actually, I fly a lot, around 3-4 hours a week on average. I don't own any horses yet, but we plan on getting some soon! I haven't ridden a ton either, but I plan to learn. Over the summers I volunteer at this ranch that does therapeutic riding for disabled kids. I work with the horses 7 hours a day, usually 5 days a week.

That is soooooooooooooo cooooool! Omg !

[justindw199]

That is soooooooooooooo cooooool! Omg !

Haha, send me a PM on how we can stay in touch, you seem like a good friend to have.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

Haha, send me a PM on how we can stay in touch, you seem like a good friend to have.

Ok, but you have to get to 100 posts!

[justindw199]

Ok, but you have to get to 100 posts!

Haha, that's true! I'll get there soon I hope!

[LanaPole]

I think youre a nice and kind hearted person. you like boys stuff. It's interesting that youre thinking about marriage and having kids.

[lacey02]

I think a date would be great. especially if it was flying! Just kidding... I think people should date alot of different people to get to know them and how to be good friends not just bf gf stuff.

[justindw199]

I think a date would be great. especially if it was flying! Just kidding... I think people should date alot of different people to get to know them and how to be good friends not just bf gf stuff.

Thank you. I'm glad I made this thread, I'm feeling a lot better now.