Tips for getting over an ex ?

[Bontigo Papi .]

Its not always like this , that I have trouble getting over a ex, but its really killing . We broke up a while back , and its still bugs me. I don't want to splash personal details here, but she broke up with me because she saw me but she didn't tell that to my face, and yet to this day I haven't got a proper explanation. I'd expect it from her because I really loved her , even thought its too strong a word to use. When she had problems I helped her, when she was lonely , I was there for her. When she was sad , I cheered her up , and I was just so confused why she did it. It even pissed me more off when she walked past me in a mall , didn't even look straight in my face ? She that kind of a coward? I know I'm not getting anything soon, but I need to get over her . I've become anti-social lately, I struggle to meet new people and such .

Anyone help?

[Cadanance00]

You find out, you tell me. I can't get over one that's not even an ex. I have this huge crush on her and she won't even look at me. It's a terrible feeling.

[Bontigo Papi .]

You find out, you tell me. I can't get over one that's not even an ex. I have this huge crush on her and she won't even look at me. It's a terrible feeling.

Maybe try talking to her ? I mean, that's one thing you can do , that's how I start most of my relationships . Start talking to her , FB, Whatsapp, anything .

[ashdyn]

Some relationships end without any explanation or closure. You can't sit around and wait for an explanation that's never going to come. Maybe she didn't give you one and still isn't because she'd know you wouldn't or couldn't be able to handle it well. I mean...what if her explanation is that she used you? What if she tells you she broke up with you because she realized you loved her and she didn't love you?

If you really really need to know before you can move on then there only one thing to do. You have to confront her and let her know you can handle it, no matter what the reason for the breakup was.

[Bontigo Papi .]

I don't care if she tells me that , all I want is the truth , and I doubt she's gonna give it and I can't just confront her, she's leaving in a few days , she's moving to America and I don't know when I'll see her , so that's why I just need an explanation so I can get over this shit.

[Jinglebottom]

Maybe try talking to her ? I mean, that's one thing you can do , that's how I start most of my relationships . Start talking to her , FB, Whatsapp, anything .
Finally, someone who knows about Whatsapp as well! :D

I can't help because I've never actually been in a relationship (so any advice I give is going to be worthless), but I guess I sort of got over my crush (though I'm not sure if it's even a crush at this point, it's been 4 years since she caught my attention), by accepting the fact that she's never going to notice me or see me as anything other than a schoolmate. It sucks, yes, but there's nothing I can do.

[Bontigo Papi .]

Finally, someone who knows about Whatsapp as well! :D

I can't help because I've never actually been in a relationship (so any advice I give is going to be worthless), but I guess I sort of got over my crush (though I'm not sure if it's even a crush at this point, it's been 4 years since she caught my attention), by accepting the fact that she's never going to notice me or see me as anything other than a schoolmate. It sucks, yes, but there's nothing I can do.

I can't just ignore her and accept the fact I wasn't good enough because I tried my best. I expected a proper explanation and that's what I'm pushing for .

[Uniquemind]

Some relationships end without any explanation or closure. You can't sit around and wait for an explanation that's never going to come. Maybe she didn't give you one and still isn't because she'd know you wouldn't or couldn't be able to handle it well. I mean...what if her explanation is that she used you? What if she tells you she broke up with you because she realized you loved her and she didn't love you?

If you really really need to know before you can move on then there only one thing to do. You have to confront her and let her know you can handle it, no matter what the reason for the breakup was.

But here's another response that builds up on the wisdom of what you just said.

If a guy "can handle the reason for why we broke up with them" why do they even need to ask at all? Why can't they move on without having to ask?

Does their need to ask for a reason, imply an unhealthy fixation, that justifies why we went "cold" on them in the first place?



This gentlemen, is why girls like to have a mental-emotional category dividers, between friendship and romantic-interests. As a defense mechanism, it's handy for us to have an emotional "eject" button from any relationship we suddenly realize isn't good for us or right for us, or just because too many red-flags got raised.



I can't just ignore her and accept the fact I wasn't good enough because I tried my best. I expected a proper explanation and that's what I'm pushing for .


*sighs* I can't hate you for this concept I really can't, but I have to point out that this type of thinking is very...male.

It's linear thinking, which is then creating an emotional angst loop causing your depression.

You have to think dynamically, and follow the shadow of female forethought, and only then will you get a taste of any possibility of the WHY, of all the events that follow.

Look at the context of the situation (you said she was leaving).

It's entirely possible she still likes you, but she's cut her own emotions off so she can have a fresh start wherever she goes next. Who knows if in a few years she fails in her endeavors to move on, she might contact you a few years later. The important point of this post is to be patient with girls/women. You look at pop-culture regarding jokes or TV shows or even solicit advice from older adults regarding romance with women, and they'll all tell you one thing: Patience is a virtue.


P.S. Don't get fixated on this last paragraph either, because you have a biased hope she'll take you back, that's not the point. The point is she wants to move on, and her reasons for doing so may not be A to B to C, logic, the comfort I expect you to find in that, is that her reasons for the breakup, might not be directly linked to anything you did. It might've just been circumstance.