Need advice

[Tesserax]

Okay, I have a few things to ask.

To begin with, I recently broke up with somebody, and I'm getting over it alright. However, I feel a... void where she used to be, and it doesn't feel right. I feel sort of lonely because of it and it's eating away at me. I'm wondering, how long should you wait before you start dating again? Or does it depend on how bad the breakup was, and how you deal with it? Because we broke up but it wasn't bloody, it was a semi-mutual thing, where I half agreed but it hurt me a bit, and she seemed much better off than me. Anyway, I'm sick of this loneliness, it's filled me for a large portion of my life and I want somebody to take that away, that I can share my life with. I'm just worried it's too early.

Now for a few questions. I've never actually asked, but this is particularly for girls. What do you look for in men?
Physical:
Mental:
Other:
I'm interested to know so I know if I'm being too insecure or confident about something.

Anyway thanks for reading guys, I appreciate any help that comes my way. As always, good luck in your ventures, and may you be guided for Eternity

[Uniquemind]

Anywhere from 3 to 6 months is a good healthy time I think, with maybe a month of pure moping/mourning, but picking up strong hobbies and other life ventures toward the tail end that can keep you social and meeting new people.

Always place yourself in situations that let you mean new people, because that's ultimately how you meet a good quality new partner. I hate to say this but stay asocial (reclusive) and I'm of the personal belief you meet lower quality partners with baggage of their own which complicates relationships if you were to rebound with them or no partners at all.

After a breakup you need to fight the mind's natural ability to think in spirals, either upward spirals, or downward spirals put one in a vulnerable position of low self-esteem or over confidence.

[Tesserax]

Anywhere from 3 to 6 months is a good healthy time I think, with maybe a month of pure moping/mourning, but picking up strong hobbies and other life ventures toward the tail end that can keep you social and meeting new people.

Always place yourself in situations that let you mean new people, because that's ultimately how you meet a good quality new partner. I hate to say this but stay asocial (reclusive) and I'm of the personal belief you meet lower quality partners with baggage of their own which complicates relationships if you were to rebound with them or no partners at all.

After a breakup you need to fight the mind's natural ability to think in spirals, either upward spirals, or downward spirals put one in a vulnerable position of low self-esteem or over confidence.

We never actually were fully committed to it yet though, we liked each other a lot and I cared very much, but fortunately we were not yet fully committed to each other so I don't know if 3-6 months is too long or something.

Also, while I understand that there is a chance of a "lower quality partner", the girls I'm interested in are the same girls that I have previously considered; good personality, happy, nice, etc. And honestly, I feel that "baggage" should be an expected burden in a relationship. Everybody have their own problems, and the point of having a partner in my opinion is to love each other; be there for each other, care for each other, help each other. I'm not looking to rebound though, I just want to know when I'm ready for something serious again, are there any signs?

I'm not exactly spiraling right now, I'm struggling but I'm keeping myself together pretty well. She was the one helping me keep it together but now that we're gone, I'm at least in place, but it's hard to keep myself strong. But I will hold through. It's been a rocky road since, and I've had my ups and downs, but I'm definitely not spiraling like I have in the past, and I guess I can credit her with fixing me.

Again, I just feel sort of empty with her gone, and I just want to know what state of mind/mentality I should be in when I know I'm ready to try again.

[ashdyn]

The length of time between relationships is usually determined by the length and seriousness of the previous relationship. If it was serious I'd wait at [I]least[\I] two months before jumping into anything serious. But only you can know when it's time to move on. I know what you mean by feeling empty. When someone was that big a part of your life it's hard to not feel their absence. The only advice I have for that is to lean on your support systems (family/friends). I know in serious relationships it can sometimes feel like it's just you guys spending time together and everyone else just kinda falls to the wayside, but after a breakup it's important to re-strengthen those friendships. Hanging out with friends that understand your situation is a great way to break you from what I call "relationship routine" and is also a great way to alleviate loneliness.

As for signs you're ready to move on...you should be able to look back on that relationship, acknowledge that it was an important part of your life, but then separate yourself from it. Turning the page or whatever. Before you venture into a new serious relationship you have to be past those feelings of what could have/would have happened in a past relationship. Another good sign is being able to be ok with or even happy about your ex moving on. Stop checking her social media to see if she's over you...it'll just leave you jealous and pining for something that's not gunna happen. Even if y'all remain friendly after everything, you should just completely cut her off from your life until you can feel like you're over her.