I don't want to seem like a kid...

[seoulsuho]

Okay. Weird situation.

I'm 14. Until a couple of days ago, I hadn't really dated anyone since I was 11, so we'll say this is my first "real" relationship. What could be the problem? I'm only a few days in, after all.

Well... I feel extremely guilty, and awkward, and stressed. And I don't know why. At school, all day I got "you have to hug them" and "when's your first date?" and all that stuff. The only person who I've told about it properly is my best friend.

I like the person, but at the end of the day I'd rather be single and stress-free. Any advice? How long should I wait to see if the awkwardness fades out, etc. I don't want to seem like a Year 6 kid by breaking it off after like 4 days.

All responses appreciated~

[Hudor]

It's your choice? If you don't feel like dating right now then don't. You're not obligated to be in a relationship. Be in one when you feel like being in one and not when people around you tell you to.

[Uniquemind]

You're going to have to look deep into yourself and figure out where the problem is.

1. Is it in telling people publicly you're in a relationship? (Because keeping all that private is an option too).

2. Is the problem that you don't really like the person you're with and you personally figure you aren't ready for romance yet? What convinced you to start the relationship in the first place?

There are a lot of self-introspective questions you need to ask yourself first before I can give you better advice.

[seoulsuho]

Thanks for all the replies already!

To answer the questions:

1. I did actually ask if we could keep it quiet at first, but somehow people found out (I think he told some people) and it really does make me uncomfortable. I'm not sure why.

2. I like the person, but we're just really friendly. It's awkward to just hug or something like that. I wouldn't class myself as an overly romantic person, but I know I am capable of being so. I don't actually know why the relationship really started- it was like an accident?

Again, thank you for all your responses~

[CosmicNoodle]

No, this is not your first "real relationship", you are 14, if you can't hug your "girlfriend" without feeling awkward then she's not really your girlfriend.

[Uniquemind]

Thanks for all the replies already!

To answer the questions:

1. I did actually ask if we could keep it quiet at first, but somehow people found out (I think he told some people) and it really does make me uncomfortable. I'm not sure why.

2. I like the person, but we're just really friendly. It's awkward to just hug or something like that. I wouldn't class myself as an overly romantic person, but I know I am capable of being so. I don't actually know why the relationship really started- it was like an accident?

Again, thank you for all your responses~


Well I know why #1 bugs you. You made a request to keep it private and your subconscious sees that polite request failed, and it's hurt your trust in him. (You said it was a he right?).

So now your defenses are up and it's causing a disturbance or uneasiness in you, hence why everything is awkward. (Hugging etc.)

You need to take a relationship slow and he didn't respect that and now it's over.

I recommend you break up, both you and he aren't ready and what? Just after 4-7 days? Geez that was headed for angst, grudges, resentment, blame and other crap you didn't need.

[seoulsuho]

Well I know why #1 bugs you. You made a request to keep it private and your subconscious sees that polite request failed, and it's hurt your trust in him. (You said it was a he right?).

So now your defenses are up and it's causing a disturbance or uneasiness in you, hence why everything is awkward. (Hugging etc.)

You need to take a relationship slow and he didn't respect that and now it's over.

I recommend you break up, both you and he aren't ready and what? Just after 4-7 days? Geez that was headed for angst, grudges, resentment, blame and other crap you didn't need.

Thanks for the advice, it really is helpful. And thank you, everyone else, who responded (: