Magenta
December 5th, 2015, 02:24 PM
Those of you who are non-binary but not trans... how do you deal with the dysphoria? I'm not trying to say that trans dysphoria isn't just as bad but sometimes there's a more clear cut answer: you want to look and act a certain way, often the opposite of your assigned gender. But for anyone else who isn't necessarily male or female... how do you deal with it?
I've done a lot of research into how I feel. I do identify with my assigned gender somewhat. I don't mind being called a woman, I use feminine terms and she/her pronouns (usually). But, at the same time, I don't feel entirely like a girl all the time. I was told that the term for this is a 'demigirl' and it feels right. So let's go with that.
But sometimes the dysphoria just hits me. I have male and female clothing. I do a lot of unisex shopping lately. I try out different styles of makeup or no makeup at all, do my hair different ways, sometimes hide it in hats so it looks shorter than it is without cutting it... I try different piercings and jewelry. I'm basically a giant mix-and-match type of person. But sometimes nothing ever feels right and it's such an uncomfortable feeling. I want to be super feminine at the same time as wanting to present myself as super masculine. It's less about what's in my head and more about how I present myself outwardly. It seems like nothing I do feels right. It changes often day to day but others it's just a terrible feeling of being... off.
I don't know how to explain it.
I've done a lot of research into how I feel. I do identify with my assigned gender somewhat. I don't mind being called a woman, I use feminine terms and she/her pronouns (usually). But, at the same time, I don't feel entirely like a girl all the time. I was told that the term for this is a 'demigirl' and it feels right. So let's go with that.
But sometimes the dysphoria just hits me. I have male and female clothing. I do a lot of unisex shopping lately. I try out different styles of makeup or no makeup at all, do my hair different ways, sometimes hide it in hats so it looks shorter than it is without cutting it... I try different piercings and jewelry. I'm basically a giant mix-and-match type of person. But sometimes nothing ever feels right and it's such an uncomfortable feeling. I want to be super feminine at the same time as wanting to present myself as super masculine. It's less about what's in my head and more about how I present myself outwardly. It seems like nothing I do feels right. It changes often day to day but others it's just a terrible feeling of being... off.
I don't know how to explain it.