Soooooooo

[Professional Russian]

Soooo I have this girl which I'm pretty sure likes me and she's a nice girl, very pretty, abit on the slutty side(and yes I know multiple guys who have already been in it so it's based off of appearance..its off of people who have been there) but I can usually look past that. The really problem is it just doesn't feel right to me. Not as in she's going to turn around and ruin my life or hurt me or anything I mean I just don't get the feeling with this girl as I did the last one and I'm not sure if I want to act on her feelings just to get laid or if I once again want to pass her up and wait for one that feels right instead. I just don't know what to do with this situation, any advice is much appreciated.

[Judean Zealot]

Romance is fickle. Never trust it. If you have an issue with her character, then stay away, but if it's a matter of seeing angels and stars and shit, then just ignore it. Real life isn't a fucking movie. :)

[Professional Russian]

Romance is fickle. Never trust it. If you have an issue with her character, then stay away, but if it's a matter of seeing angels and stars and shit, then just ignore it. Real life isn't a fucking movie. :)

I don't see a problem with her character or anything. It's just the feeling I had with my last girl that's lacking here and I don't know whether that feeling eventually will developed and by then it will be too late and I'll be heart broken again or I should act on and pray that feeling developes. It's not a question of character or anything. It's just my personal feeling and I'm trying to figure out what the normal person would do...although this probably isn't the place to find the normal persons opinion cause I don't think any of us are normal

[Judean Zealot]

I don't see a problem with her character or anything. It's just the feeling I had with my last girl that's lacking here and I don't know whether that feeling eventually will developed and by then it will be too late and I'll be heart broken again or I should act on and pray that feeling developes. It's not a question of character or anything. It's just my personal feeling and I'm trying to figure out what the normal person would do...although this probably isn't the place to find the normal persons opinion cause I don't think any of us are normal

Than the second half of my post applies. :P

[Professional Russian]

Than the second half of my post applies. :P

I'm quite aware what happens in movies isn't real :P

[Taryn98]

If you don't have those feelings for her, don't waste either of your time.

[Emerald Dream]

it just doesn't feel right to me

You pretty much have the answer for yourself right here, Bert. If you're serious about pursuing a relationship, it's not going to work off the bat if you don't feel right about it. Maybe you should wait until you are ready. I'd advise against jumping right into anything, though. Maybe you're still having feelings for someone else and you aren't admitting it. It's not fair to someone else to try a relationship with them if you think it doesn't feel right.

[Magenta]

Never feel obligated to go out with someone just because they like you. It's okay if it doesn't feel right to you right now. Rejecting someone can be hard but if you don't like her then don't do something that's not right for either of you. You'll have doubts, she'll be getting her hopes up, and neither of you will be happy in the end if it's not mutual.

I'm a firm believer that yes, love does grow over time but if there's nothing there to begin with, then it's not worth it.

[Professional Russian]

If you don't have those feelings for her, don't waste either of your time.
At one point in time I did, don't know if they'll come back or not though
You pretty much have the answer for yourself right here, Bert. If you're serious about pursuing a relationship, it's not going to work off the bat if you don't feel right about it. Maybe you should wait until you are ready. I'd advise against jumping right into anything, though. Maybe you're still having feelings for someone else and you aren't admitting it. It's not fair to someone else to try a relationship with them if you think it doesn't feel right.
Ali, you know the story of my last girl and honestly if my feelings for this this girl came back I fear that it would end up the same way as the last one and you saw how much that tore me apart. Plus this girl has a habit of running around with other guys and I'm not a fan of that either. Once you're with me your mine, no one else's.
Never feel obligated to go out with someone just because they like you. It's okay if it doesn't feel right to you right now. Rejecting someone can be hard but if you don't like her then don't do something that's not right for either of you. You'll have doubts, she'll be getting her hopes up, and neither of you will be happy in the end if it's not mutual.

I'm a firm believer that yes, love does grow over time but if there's nothing there to begin with, then it's not worth it.

I rejected a girl once probably 3 or 4 years ago. I think it was freshman year and it totally tore her world apart. She loved me like no other man and she asked me to go to homecoming with her or something and I said no and it totally tore her world up. I feel so bad about that till this day but I just didn't feel anything at the time. I don't want a relationship I didn't want anything. And I agree love does grow over time but if there's not alittle there to start it won't work...just don't know whether feelings from the past will come.back or not

[Magenta]

I rejected a girl once probably 3 or 4 years ago. I think it was freshman year and it totally tore her world apart. She loved me like no other man and she asked me to go to homecoming with her or something and I said no and it totally tore her world up. I feel so bad about that till this day but I just didn't feel anything at the time. I don't want a relationship I didn't want anything. And I agree love does grow over time but if there's not alittle there to start it won't work...just don't know whether feelings from the past will come.back or not

Okay but here's the thing: rejection always hurts. It's not your responsibility to pick up the pieces afterward. It's okay to feel a little bad because yeah, you hurt someone's feelings but if you don't like them back then you don't like them back. It's a no win situation.

This girl now... honestly, if you had feelings for her, you wouldn't be waiting for them to "come back". I waited for my girlfriend for a year. I encouraged someone else to date her thinking I could get rid of those feelings because it was an awkward situation. But they didn't just keep "coming back", they stayed. If you really like someone, you may have days where it's at the back of your mind but it's still there. If you don't have feelings for her now, don't bother waiting for them to come back.

You've answered your own questions multiple times already. You don't like her that way. No point in dwelling over it.

And to go back to a point you made in your original post: I don't care if she's a little "slutty" or not. Don't ever act on another girl's feelings for you just to get laid. It's just cruel.

[Professional Russian]

Okay but here's the thing: rejection always hurts. It's not your responsibility to pick up the pieces afterward. It's okay to feel a little bad because yeah, you hurt someone's feelings but if you don't like them back then you don't like them back. It's a no win situation.

This girl now... honestly, if you had feelings for her, you wouldn't be waiting for them to "come back". I waited for my girlfriend for a year. I encouraged someone else to date her thinking I could get rid of those feelings because it was an awkward situation. But they didn't just keep "coming back", they stayed. If you really like someone, you may have days where it's at the back of your mind but it's still there. If you don't have feelings for her now, don't bother waiting for them to come back.

You've answered your own questions multiple times already. You don't like her that way. No point in dwelling over it.

And to go back to a point you made in your original post: I don't care if she's a little "slutty" or not. Don't ever act on another girl's feelings for you just to get laid. It's just cruel.

I know its cruel but unfortunately alot of guys do it. And the only reason I asked if I should even give this a try is because I'm trying to push the feelings I have for someone else out of my mind and away because I know nothing will ever happen. I've tried and I've fought a d done everything I could to prove to this girl I loved her to give me a chance and none of it worked so I'm trying to get those feelings out of my head. There's just no one else that feels right other than that girl and I can't keep living fighting for her but knowing nothing will ever happen

[Magenta]

I know its cruel but unfortunately alot of guys do it. And the only reason I asked if I should even give this a try is because I'm trying to push the feelings I have for someone else out of my mind and away because I know nothing will ever happen. I've tried and I've fought a d done everything I could to prove to this girl I loved her to give me a chance and none of it worked so I'm trying to get those feelings out of my head. There's just no one else that feels right other than that girl and I can't keep living fighting for her but knowing nothing will ever happen

Don't make her the rebound girl. I don't know anything about her but if she has feelings for you, not just wanting to get laid, then it's still not fair to her. Don't use other girls as distractions. Don't use other girls as anything. Either you have feelings for her or you don't and if you don't, then let her move on too while you get over this other girl who felt right for you. Everyone deserves to be happy without all the complications. I can absolutely guarantee that if she really feels something for you and you use her as a rebound distraction or an easy lay, this will get messy and no one will be happy.

I think the best thing for you right now might just to be to take a break from dating altogether. Hell, I did... for two years. It sucked but it was necessary to get over this one guy who proved that he eventually wanted nothing to do with me. And yeah, it hurt and it felt like he was the only "right" person for me and here I am quite happy having waited for my girlfriend so we were both in the right headspace for a relationship even if it was a long time coming.

I can't convince you of anything but I think maybe you've been looking at this primarily from your point of view and how you feel. Don't mess with this other girl's feelings just to get away from your own, okay?

[Professional Russian]

Don't make her the rebound girl. I don't know anything about her but if she has feelings for you, not just wanting to get laid, then it's still not fair to her. Don't use other girls as distractions. Don't use other girls as anything. Either you have feelings for her or you don't and if you don't, then let her move on too while you get over this other girl who felt right for you. Everyone deserves to be happy without all the complications. I can absolutely guarantee that if she really feels something for you and you use her as a rebound distraction or an easy lay, this will get messy and no one will be happy.

I think the best thing for you right now might just to be to take a break from dating altogether. Hell, I did... for two years. It sucked but it was necessary to get over this one guy who proved that he eventually wanted nothing to do with me. And yeah, it hurt and it felt like he was the only "right" person for me and here I am quite happy having waited for my girlfriend so we were both in the right headspace for a relationship even if it was a long time coming.

I can't convince you of anything but I think maybe you've been looking at this primarily from your point of view and how you feel. Don't mess with this other girl's feelings just to get away from your own, okay?

I've taken a break for 9 months...for 9 months I've been trying to get these feelings out of my head and nothing. I don't want to hurt anybody but I don't want to lead anyone on either. There's only one other person I feel like I could actually and we'll quite frankly I don't see her quite as much as I'd like too. I never wanted a quick fuck. I don't do that. I'm not into it I don't like it it's just not something I look for.....but I've had alot of people tell me the way to get this out of my head is to get laid and while I doubt it works I'd really like to get this out of my head...

[Magenta]

I've taken a break for 9 months...for 9 months I've been trying to get these feelings out of my head and nothing. I don't want to hurt anybody but I don't want to lead anyone on either. There's only one other person I feel like I could actually and we'll quite frankly I don't see her quite as much as I'd like too. I never wanted a quick fuck. I don't do that. I'm not into it I don't like it it's just not something I look for.....but I've had alot of people tell me the way to get this out of my head is to get laid and while I doubt it works I'd really like to get this out of my head...

Well, if you feel like it's solid advice then... -shrugs- I think it's a stupid idea to do that to anyone and you even have your doubts so honestly, all you can do is just wait to move on. It's not an easy thing.

[Professional Russian]

Well, if you feel like it's solid advice then... -shrugs- I think it's a stupid idea to do that to anyone and you even have your doubts so honestly, all you can do is just wait to move on. It's not an easy thing.

Yeah I know its not easy....that's why I questioned what to do on this because I don't want to put anyone through what ive felt... It's horrible and no one deserves it.

[ashdyn]

You know how sometimes when you like a girl and you really try to get with her but no matter what she always chooses someone else or just keeps rejecting you? Guys can do it to lol you can't make yourself have feelings for her. You can either tell her straight up or just friend zone her. If she is kinda slutty, there's a chance she might just want to hook up or would be cool with just hooking up....you said she's pretty so why not? Lol

[Uniquemind]

Despite all that has already been said, it should be stated that each relationship has it's own flow and rhythm, the attraction should be the constant, but differences are to be expected from relationship with person 1 to relationship to person 2.

No less meaningful, but different.

[Professional Russian]

You know how sometimes when you like a girl and you really try to get with her but no matter what she always chooses someone else or just keeps rejecting you? Guys can do it to lol you can't make yourself have feelings for her. You can either tell her straight up or just friend zone her. If she is kinda slutty, there's a chance she might just want to hook up or would be cool with just hooking up....you said she's pretty so why not? Lol
Because I'm not a fuck and forget kinda person. It just doesn't sit Right with me.
Despite all that has already been said, it should be stated that each relationship has it's own flow and rhythm, the attraction should be the constant, but differences are to be expected from relationship with person 1 to relationship to person 2.

No less meaningful, but different.

My mind is not in the right mindset to understand that right now, if you could please put it into dumbass welder terms that'd be great.

[Uniquemind]

Because I'm not a fuck and forget kinda person. It just doesn't sit Right with me.


My mind is not in the right mindset to understand that right now, if you could please put it into dumbass welder terms that'd be great.

I speak deeply so I will have to wait until you have the right mindset to hear me.

It won't matter how I phrase it or the terms I use because it's a deep subject that stems from my understanding of human communication which seems to be unique to me as I've rarely encountered anybody who sees the world and it's dramas, and their causes like I interpret them.

I will say this, at your core before you begin pursuing romance, you need to self-recognize what attraction feels like, in the same way you understand instinctually what hunger was as an infant.

In the case of attraction, and lust you need to know, and then choose to act on it or not.

Then you need to be a decent person attempt to socialize with said crush, and if they feel the same way, then at least you might have a sexual relationship, but going deeper than that, you need to recognize when you love someone, which is deeper than attraction and mutual sexual itches.

This is where the flavor of the relationship differs because each individual brings unique life interests and qualities, and conversational rhythm to that particular relationship. It is highly likely there are qualities in relationship A that won't be present in relationship B, because the relationship IS not your ex or former one.


Based on many novels like the Great Gatsby, chasing the shadow of a relationship and fixation on only one desire outcome for your life can be dangerous and can lead to immense sufferings. Needless sufferings too I might add.

You can also sabotage subsequent relationships if you start to make the succeeding partner into a copy of what your former lover was. That puts a lot of undo pressure on an innocent person who should be treated and loved for who they are and then work from there if they have to give-or-take parts of their personality during the story of their relationship with you, in the same way you will also give-n-take and learn from your unique actions with them.


Every experience in life ends your existence of your ignorant self from the moment before, you live and die at every moment, and what remains is the experience, the knowledge, the empathy, and the legacy of passing the torch to another version of yourself which is born again.

Understand? (Again this is the short version)

[Professional Russian]

I speak deeply so I will have to wait until you have the right mindset to hear me.

It won't matter how I phrase it or the terms I use because it's a deep subject that stems from my understanding of human communication which seems to be unique to me as I've rarely encountered anybody who sees the world and it's dramas, and their causes like I interpret them.

I will say this, at your core before you begin pursuing romance, you need to self-recognize what attraction feels like, in the same way you understand instinctually what hunger was as an infant.

In the case of attraction, and lust you need to know, and then choose to act on it or not.

Then you need to be a decent person attempt to socialize with said crush, and if they feel the same way, then at least you might have a sexual relationship, but going deeper than that, you need to recognize when you love someone, which is deeper than attraction and mutual sexual itches.

This is where the flavor of the relationship differs because each individual brings unique life interests and qualities, and conversational rhythm to that particular relationship. It is highly likely there are qualities in relationship A that won't be present in relationship B, because the relationship IS not your ex or former one.


Based on many novels like the Great Gatsby, chasing the shadow of a relationship and fixation on only one desire outcome for your life can be dangerous and can lead to immense sufferings. Needless sufferings too I might add.

You can also sabotage subsequent relationships if you start to make the succeeding partner into a copy of what your former lover was. That puts a lot of undo pressure on an innocent person who should be treated and loved for who they are and then work from there if they have to give-or-take parts of their personality during the story of their relationship with you, in the same way you will also give-n-take and learn from your unique actions with them.


Every experience in life ends your existence of your ignorant self from the moment before, you live and die at every moment, and what remains is the experience, the knowledge, the empathy, and the legacy of passing the torch to another version of yourself which is born again.

Understand? (Again this is the short version)

Yeah I understand what you're saying. I'm still trying to figure out what what real attraction feels like compared to sexual. Obviously there's a very big difference but theres been a girl I loved so much more than anything in the world and wanted her to be around for ever but never even thought about fucking her compared to some girls which yeah I'd like to have them around for awhile but I'd want to fuck them more than just sit down and talk. I don't know I may just be weird and I'm just confused on this whole thing