Relationship with Best Friend

[Santiago]

So my best friend and I have been dating for a month and a half. We've been close but we didn't define the relationship until Dec. 26. I've been through a lot recently. I was sexually abused when I was younger and I have finally come to terms with it. I've always been attracted to guys. I'm sexually and emotionally attracted to her. I care so much about her and she saved my life. But I'm still attracted to guys. I masturbate to gay porn and sometimes straight porn. I just don't know what to do. I have a hard time being affectionate and showing my love. I thinks it goes back to the abuse. I'm working through it in therapy.

She's talking about spending the rest of our lives together but I want to experience a relationship with a guy at one point. I don't know what to do. I feel comfortable at times with her because she wants to be all affectionate and I have a hard time with physical contact.

I don't know what to do.

[JamesSuperBoy]

Seems like she is moving very quickly -

[ksdnfkfr]

Does she know about the abuse?
I ask because it would make a difference in how she views your reactions to phys contact.
i was never abused but have an ingrained aversion to phys contact.
it might take you a long time to be able to settle into it.

[Santiago]

Does she know about the abuse?
I ask because it would make a difference in how she views your reactions to phys contact.
i was never abused but have an ingrained aversion to phys contact.
it might take you a long time to be able to settle into it.

She was the first person I told. We were best friends at the time. I also told her that I'm struggling with my depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and she has stuck by me. She has a hard time understanding everything but I don't blame her. I don't even understand myself.

I also don't like labels so I'm not concerned about figuring out if I'm bi or not. I believe love doesn't discriminate.

[ksdnfkfr]

She was the first person I told. We were best friends at the time. I also told her that I'm struggling with my depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and she has stuck by me. She has a hard time understanding everything but I don't blame her. I don't even understand myself.

I also don't like labels so I'm not concerned about figuring out if I'm bi or not. I believe love doesn't discriminate.

That is good. You two will work it out in the long run im sure.
True definitely does not discriminate and it is patient.