RavleIncarnate
November 27th, 2015, 12:51 PM
Okay, I don't come here a lot but I need advice. I am in love with a guy, I won't say his name. I'm bisexual, and since an...accident at school, everyone in school taunts me and discredits my statements that I am not gay. (Which is true, in a way) Anyway, I first saw him about 6 months ago, as he entered my school in the middle of the year. He immediately fell in with a group that doesn't hate me, but doesn't like me either. My hostel room knows that I am bi and my best friend is gay, however two weeks before the end of the year (which is now) two guys moved out and went to the other side, one of them is the same guy I suspect of stealing stuff from me the last few weeks, and which has ended since he moved out. Now, I really like this one guy, as in seriously, and he is the center of this group, and though he is really amazing and has an equally amazing personality (and ass), his friends are in no way supportive of my LGBT views due to the negative connotation associated with the term, even though they do not know for sure that I am bisexual. Now, I was quite nice with him since we first got to know each other when I helped him study maths last term for an exam, but since then it got out in the room that I admire him immensely among the hostel room guys. However, one of them antagonized me before he moved out, ans I am quite sure he told the entire group that I have a huge crush on him, because after about a week of koving and him giving me strange glances, he asked me, at school, if I would go out with him. I had to say no, even though I was tempted to kiss him violently. Now, Tuesday his group called me and told me he is looking for me and wanred to ask me something, but I ignored the call and the look they gave me when I gave them a finger (not the middle one, just one finger in the air as if to say "Just hold on a sec"). One night this week I was tormented by thoughts of him, so I FB messaged him saying I had to tell him something, and I was seriously considering coming out and was held back only by the knowledge that the entire school would know next year and everyone would find out. However, he answered today and I couldn't tell him so I just asked him what he meant to ask me Tuesday.
I have serious feelings for this boy and even though I am infatuated with MANY MANY MANY people since I have an imagination like a farting unicorn and a sex drive like a warhorse, I am sure that I actually do like him. A lot. I thought of it as lust but it isn't because he doesn't have my favourite body structure, though he has an amazing ass, or my favourite eye color, or such things that I look for when wanting an occasional lover. Also, if I jack off and I think of him, I don't think of fucking or anything, I just get this inexorable image of us kissing passionately that haunts me even now. Every single time I hear a love song, I can imagine myself singing it in front of the whole school, knowing he is in the audience.
I need him, but I can't get him.
Does anybody have any advice? Not just on this subject, but also how to initiate a coming out if possible?
EDIT: Incidence #1:
He randomly walks into my hostel room. His pants in front isn't shifting as he walks, indicating semi. Sudden exposure to Him-Rays leaves me shocked, so I run out of the room without realizing that I did so and had to get my bearings in the study hall.
Incidence #2:
He visits before lights out to get a movie from one of the kids in my room. I start gasping and staring, but luckily I do not stare at him, rather I break my gaze and direct it at my screen. He stayed there for half an hour, at the end of which I could barely breathe and could not form proper trains of thought.
Incidence #3:
I am at home but I find that he sleeps in my room the ONE night I am not present. I flip out and start crying at the lost opportunity. My best friend only tells me later the he was not wearing pants, and that his ass seemed very firm and nice to touch through the tight underwear. I get so jealous of him that I orchestrate a fake fight between me and my other best friend to get my first best friend to take pictures and get his number to send to my second bestie who will send it to me as a "peace offering" to make up. It flopped and now I cannot speak to my second bestie (who I coincidentally met on THIS WEBSITE!) when my first bestie is around because everyone knows I can carry such grudges for a completely inappropriate amount of time and I can't just drop it or it will look suspicious.
Incident #4:
I'm crying now just because of some stupid post about him.
I have serious feelings for this boy and even though I am infatuated with MANY MANY MANY people since I have an imagination like a farting unicorn and a sex drive like a warhorse, I am sure that I actually do like him. A lot. I thought of it as lust but it isn't because he doesn't have my favourite body structure, though he has an amazing ass, or my favourite eye color, or such things that I look for when wanting an occasional lover. Also, if I jack off and I think of him, I don't think of fucking or anything, I just get this inexorable image of us kissing passionately that haunts me even now. Every single time I hear a love song, I can imagine myself singing it in front of the whole school, knowing he is in the audience.
I need him, but I can't get him.
Does anybody have any advice? Not just on this subject, but also how to initiate a coming out if possible?
EDIT: Incidence #1:
He randomly walks into my hostel room. His pants in front isn't shifting as he walks, indicating semi. Sudden exposure to Him-Rays leaves me shocked, so I run out of the room without realizing that I did so and had to get my bearings in the study hall.
Incidence #2:
He visits before lights out to get a movie from one of the kids in my room. I start gasping and staring, but luckily I do not stare at him, rather I break my gaze and direct it at my screen. He stayed there for half an hour, at the end of which I could barely breathe and could not form proper trains of thought.
Incidence #3:
I am at home but I find that he sleeps in my room the ONE night I am not present. I flip out and start crying at the lost opportunity. My best friend only tells me later the he was not wearing pants, and that his ass seemed very firm and nice to touch through the tight underwear. I get so jealous of him that I orchestrate a fake fight between me and my other best friend to get my first best friend to take pictures and get his number to send to my second bestie who will send it to me as a "peace offering" to make up. It flopped and now I cannot speak to my second bestie (who I coincidentally met on THIS WEBSITE!) when my first bestie is around because everyone knows I can carry such grudges for a completely inappropriate amount of time and I can't just drop it or it will look suspicious.
Incident #4:
I'm crying now just because of some stupid post about him.