Younger brother starting puberty

[kdapik]

Hi,
My younger brother is now 13 years old. He just started going through puberty (I know it's kinda late but I started at similar age too so I think it's a genetic thing)
He doesn't have sex ed classes in his school and I am certain that my parents will not give him the TALK. So I think I am responsible for educating him about these stuff.
We are really close, but we never talk about sexual stuff with each other. I would like to talk to him, but I don't want it to be an awkward or uncomfortable conversation.

Any bits of advice or experiences will be appreciated.

Thanks.

[drhalsey1]

Maybe just make a comment like you're getting big or something like that to bring it up and see if he goes into anything at all

[Destroyeroftissue]

Just be clear with him and ask him firstly if there is anything he wants to ask you about this stuff.

[ska8er]

ask him if he has any questions about the changes
he is going through-if he says no then just put the idea
In his head-he may have questions later-ur big bro
tell him ur here for him.

[NZPerson]

You shouldnt feel responsable for this, its your parents job or the schools job to educate kids about this stuff, the best thing you can do it tell your parents to educate him rather than taking the responsability your self.

[pjones]

let him know he can talk to you about any subject, and specify sex is included. you can sit with him and google educational sites and explain things if he has questions. no porn please, that ain't real

[kdapik]

That was really helpful. Thank you guys I appreciate it.

[Sean4U]

I can only repeat what others have said -- just ask him if he has any questions and let him be the one to start a discussion. I have an older brother who I talked to when I felt the need and have twin brothers that my older bro and I talked to when asked. Be real, not BS and just make him comfortable with what is happeneing to him during this part of his growing up.

[Crona]

id just tell him that if he has any questions he can ask you that way even if he doesnt have questions now he knows that he can come to you if he ever does

[DimkaD]

I don't understand why do you think that the only source of information about puberty for him must be you. Show him 'virtual teen', and he will find whatever he wants to know.

[chiisaiaoiryu]

You shouldnt feel responsable for this, its your parents job or the schools job to educate kids about this stuff, the best thing you can do it tell your parents to educate him rather than taking the responsability your self.

NOTE: What I'm saying here is in relations to American schools.

True, it's the school's job, in part, to educate kids about sex education. At the same time, it's ultimately the parents' decision as to whether or not they want their children to learn about sex education in school. After all, they are sent letters that state they give the teachers permission to teach about such things. If the parents say no, then the kids will just get a sugarcoated version that will explain what things are but not necessarily be as concrete in details. In that case, it falls onto the parents' shoulders to teach such things.

Of course, there's no guarantee that the parents are going to teach their children about sex. They could either be very shy about saying such things to their kids, or they simply don't believe in talking about sex as it would be something that is learned naturally.

It may sound stupid, but it's actually quite common. Back when I was in ninth grade, about a quarter of my class for sex ed left after the first week because their parents refused to sign the consent form. A few of them were my friends and asked me what we went over, saying later that their parents refused to tell them anything. So as crazy as it may sound, it is actually pretty common.

Long story short, it sometimes fall onto the siblings' shoulders to tell their younger siblings about sex. Having him tell his parents to tell his younger brother about sex might make the matter worse, or they might just redirect it back to him. In this case, just be direct about it but not be too blunt. Being that you said you are close siblings, there's no need to be like you're walking on eggshells with the topic.

Just tell him what you're talking about and try to let him take the reigns in the discussion. Let him ask you what he wants to talk about, don't just delve into what you think he should know. That way, he won't feel like you're forcing the information onto him, but do make sure the absolutely important details are covered even if he doesn't ask about it. And don't just direct him to online sources. This site is an exception as it is secure, but most websites might say something informational but is actually just a way for porn sites to piggyback onto the computer. Hope that helps.

[hairy balls]

You shouldnt feel responsable for this, its your parents job or the schools job to educate kids about this stuff, the best thing you can do it tell your parents to educate him rather than taking the responsability your self.
but if he askes you any questions answer them for him but I would not get involved in anything physical even if he asks there are doctors or social workers in most collages

[NZPerson]

chiisaiaoiryu Unfortunatly what you have said is the reality but it dosnt change the fact he shouldnt feel responsible for this, teens have enough goin on already.

[Catholic Guy]

Just let him know that you're there if he does want to talk and it's not a big deal

[kdapik]

You shouldnt feel responsable for this, its your parents job or the schools job to educate kids about this stuff, the best thing you can do it tell your parents to educate him rather than taking the responsability your self.
but if he askes you any questions answer them for him but I would not get involved in anything physical even if he asks there are doctors or social workers in most collages

@chiisaiaoiryu Unfortunatly what you have said is the reality but it dosnt change the fact he shouldnt feel responsible for this, teens have enough goin on already.

I understand where you guys coming from. But as an older brother I want to make sure that he goes through this stage of his life as smooth as possible. I remember myself during this time, I was lost. I heard so many information from friends and internet and many of them were wrong. That's why I don't think "internet" is the right source.

Thanks for everyone else for their valuable advice.

[Hermes]

Without getting into the debate as to why the job falls to you I think the most important thing is to break the ice and let him know he can ask you anything and you will answer it honestly. For that you'll just grasp the nettle and say something like: "I notice you've started puberty - it can be a bit of an interesting ride but I've been there before you so if you have any questions or concerns just ask".

Don't feel like you have to give him "the talk", certainly not in one go but if you think he is too shy to ask questions you could spot other opportunities to offer tips like, for example, you spot him with an erection, particularly if he looks awkward about it and say: "don't worry about the erection - they're a normal part of puberty but if you want to hide it you can tuck it in the waist band" etc. Every such interaction is an opportunity for him to ask further questions.

As he's 13 you could also get him to join here.

[bbwolf26]

Ask him what he knows already. And if he has any more questions and that you are there for him if he needs it. Wish I had older brother to talk with.

[pjones]

Without getting into the debate as to why the job falls to you I think the most important thing is to break the ice and let him know he can ask you anything and you will answer it honestly. For that you'll just grasp the nettle and say something like: "I notice you've started puberty - it can be a bit of an interesting ride but I've been there before you so if you have any questions or concerns just ask".

Don't feel like you have to give him "the talk", certainly not in one go but if you think he is too shy to ask questions you could spot other opportunities to offer tips like, for example, you spot him with an erection, particularly if he looks awkward about it and say: "don't worry about the erection - they're a normal part of puberty but if you want to hide it you can tuck it in the waist band" etc. Every such interaction is an opportunity for him to ask further questions.

As he's 13 you could also get him to join here.

this is great advice

[lliam]

Any bits of advice or experiences will be appreciated.


just wait until he ask you stuff.

[Bluebyrd]

Well how old are you?

[AsTheTrombonePlays]

You shouldn't have to talk about it, unless he asks. If he does, it's great that he can turn to you.

Give him signs that it's okay for him to talk about these things. (e. g. soften up, smile, chuckle when anything remotely in the boat of sexuality comes up.)

[Charlie4926]

Hello ms

[fidgetykid]

just be clear and let him ask any questions that he has and be sure to answer them - this is how my older brother was like with me he let me ask any questions i had and he answered them perfectly

[Midas_McLauren]

Just show him porn and he'll know what it's all about. Well, normal porn that is. But it can give him a distorted view of sex if he watches too much porn. The guys have 8.5 inch penises and the girls have implants in their breasts and moans theatrically etc.

I share room with my 11 year old younger brother (he recently turned 11). When I saw that he had pubes I showed him what an ejaculation is by showing him how I shoot my load and said it's normal and that it's one of the good things of growing up because it feels good :) Hadn't jerked off in front of him before that but this was just necessary I think. Then he started to jerk off every day about a month ago. Doesn't bother me as I do it as well. We can lock our room so I'm not nervous for neither him nor me.

Showed him some porn and he liked it. Tried to show him realistic amateur porn. Told him to not shoot in the bedsheet. That respect is what wins a girl over or a guy if he happens to be bi or gay. Told him to not send dick pics with his face showing, never to go on cam as he is 11 years old and that would be innapropriate.

That's like all I could tell him and I think it's all he needs to know :)

[scott2002]

I share room with my 11 year old younger brother (he recently turned 11). When I saw that he had pubes I showed him what an ejaculation is by showing him how I shoot my load and said it's normal and that it's one of the good things of growing up because it feels good :) Hadn't jerked off in front of him before that but this was just necessary I think.
What was his reaction to what he saw you doing, or when you ejaculated? Did you show him that it was a very different fluid that came out? (I bet he immediately wanted to try it on himself, and I bet he was hard as a little metal rod at the time, watching you, too.)

[Dalcourt]

Hello ms

Please don't post in threads with more than two months inactivity :locked: