Can I still trust this "friend"??

[Dalcourt]

I'm not sure if this whole thing is about looking for some kind of advice or just a rant to get stuff off my chest.

I met this person and I put a lot of energy into being a friend and helping him. Listening to his problems, trying to give advice and just simply being there.

I usually don't like talking too much about myself but after a while as I felt this person was nice and also could be trusted I started talking about stuff that was bothering me in my life as well.

I don't trust people easily cuz I have been disappointed a lot but I really hoped it was different with that one, but oh well...a few days ago I found out that his person is just the same as all those others.

I found him laughing about people he called his friends in other places and talking ill about em. Not about me, but still... it made all my alarm bells ring.

If you talk ill about a person behind his/her back...then you probably do so about all, right.

I mean can I still trust such a person at all?? He talks to someone, calls him friend and then turns around and tells another friend what a douche this person is. How would I know that he doesn't act the same also the other way round? It deeply shattered my opinion about this person.
I'm usually always brutally honest, giving my opinion and with this sometimes pissing people off but at least I don't talk behind their backs.

So what now should I give up on this friendship? Or maintain it without being able to fully trust that person?

[Magenta]

Eh, maybe talk to him about it? Honestly, a lot of us do it. You're friends with someone but they do something to tick you off and you go off and bitch about them to someone else. I still do it. But it's not like I share anything super personal about them. Usually it's more to vent/get advice from other people about shit that they're doing.

That said, maybe not the nicest thing to do at times but I'm not really doing in maliciously. We all have our moments when we just have things we want to say about people that we can't say to their face. Does it show our better colours? No, but I doubt he's gonna out you to everyone else.

Just be honest and call it like it is. Say you've witnessed him doing this and you don't like it and his reaction will probably tell you what you need to know. If he says it's all just a joke then he's probably being a dick. If he apologizes and tries to assure you it's not something he's doing to be some asshole, then he's probably just doing what all of us do every once in awhile.

[Uniquemind]

I'm not sure if this whole thing is about looking for some kind of advice or just a rant to get stuff off my chest.

I met this person and I put a lot of energy into being a friend and helping him. Listening to his problems, trying to give advice and just simply being there.

I usually don't like talking too much about myself but after a while as I felt this person was nice and also could be trusted I started talking about stuff that was bothering me in my life as well.

I don't trust people easily cuz I have been disappointed a lot but I really hoped it was different with that one, but oh well...a few days ago I found out that his person is just the same as all those others.

I found him laughing about people he called his friends in other places and talking ill about em. Not about me, but still... it made all my alarm bells ring.

If you talk ill about a person behind his/her back...then you probably do so about all, right.

I mean can I still trust such a person at all?? He talks to someone, calls him friend and then turns around and tells another friend what a douche this person is. How would I know that he doesn't act the same also the other way round? It deeply shattered my opinion about this person.
I'm usually always brutally honest, giving my opinion and with this sometimes pissing people off but at least I don't talk behind their backs.

So what now should I give up on this friendship? Or maintain it without being able to fully trust that person?

I'd be more guarded with them, but I wouldn't cut them out of my life entirely.

I treat others as id like to be treated, and if that fails and I'm not treated by them the way i treat them, then I demote our relationship to a level of resourceful civility, and the step after that is distance and end of friendship.

[EmilySmith]

Hah Black widow is right, we all do that… My best friends does the same, even though I trust her with all my heart. So who knows? If you feel good beside him, don't ruin your friendship… Maybe he has that kind of humor? Well… you know him better than we do.