Had sex with a friend

[Sandybeaches]

I don't really know how to talk about this but here it goes.

A few days ago i walked home with my best friend and we were talking about girls, porn, wanking, etc. That's something i have never really talked openly about with friends in real life, only on VT.
I'm straight, I've even had a girlfriend and i have crushes and find girls hot. So i have no idea why when we got to my friends house we ended kissing each other on his bed, feeling each other up and giving each other head and then tried sex :(
I didn't really enjoy the sex that much and i nearly threw up when we stopped cuz of all the mess, but still was turned on by his boner and sucked it again. I just don't understand why i enjoyed sucking him so much. I mean the thought of it makes me feel horrible but at the time i was nearly going to cum just by sucking him.
Then he jizzed in my mouth and i nearly threw up again.

I ran out the house, I've text him since saying it was a mistake and i don't want to do it ever again. But he just said it was great and thank you and how he does want to do it again.
I'm just so confused and messed up in my head. It's it possible to be gay or bi and not even know it?
I'm straight and love girls, but gay sex is pretty gay.
I just don't really know what to think. :(

[Bontigo Papi .]

As I told another member before, you're dick cannot decide for you.

If you love girls, go meet one and ask her out. Simple. If you're confused you need to clear you mind of these things. Its not easy to decide if you're questioning your sexuallity, and I may not know enough of being gay or bi, but maybe another member will help you, I'm just telling you what's good to do if you love girls and want to be straight.

[pjones]

you experimented and decided that it's not for you, even if you were turned on at first, nothing wrong with it, or with what you did. you can still be friends without doing anything sexual, hope you guys do remain friends, and he understands your feelings about this.

when i was 14 nothing was easy to figure out. still isn't for me.

[SethfromMI]

you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. you tried it, did not like it, you don't have to do it again if you don't want to, even if your friend wants you to

[Bull]

Ok, so you and your BF had a sexual moment. You liked part of it, but now you do not want a repeat, he does. Experimenting does not mean you are gay/bi. It is simply experimenting. That being said, if there are aspects you dislike now that you tried it all, just avoid engaging in those. If you really do not want to repeat any of it just be up front about it and say so. You two cannot go back to the way things were before the sex, but you can continue to be best friends, even closer and better friends than before. Good luck with the friendship and with whichever direction you allow it to progress.

[Sandybeaches]

Thanks guys. One of my friends has said there is a difference between sex and feelings, which obv I understand. And I definitely have feelings towards girls that I don't have to guys.... But surely there must have been some kind of feeling there for me to even want to do it and actually enjoy some of it?

[Harrier]

But surely there must have been some kind of feeling there for me to even want to do it and actually enjoy some of it?

Not really. Sure u have feelings for him as a friend. You were probably just curious. If the acts made you want to puke then obviously it's not for you.

[pjones]

Thanks guys. One of my friends has said there is a difference between sex and feelings, which obv I understand. And I definitely have feelings towards girls that I don't have to guys.... But surely there must have been some kind of feeling there for me to even want to do it and actually enjoy some of it?

you were receiving pleasure from another person, your penis doesn't care if it's a boy or girl on the other end.

[Bull]

you were receiving pleasure from another person, your penis doesn't care if it's a boy or girl on the other end.

When I was dealing with this issue some really good friends pulled one on me. With my hands behind my back and blindfolded I was unable to tell the difference between a guy and a girl giving me head. Wow! Pleasure IS pleasure.

[NZPerson]

Live and learn my friend, i would make sure you didnt get pressured into it again. If you do feel at any time in sex its better o stop right there than to go further and regret it even more later.

[Bontigo Papi .]

Live and learn my friend, i would make sure you didnt get pressured into it again. If you do feel at any time in sex its better o stop right there than to go further and regret it even more later.

Yeah, exactly. You need to do what's best for your mind, and heart, not you dick.

[Bluebyrd]

Don't let it come between your friendship. Make sure he knows that it was a mistake but you still want to be friends.

[LanaPole]

i think youre just having some fun. you dont have to resist your urges. youre just experiencing. doesnt mean your gay or anything.

for me i would describe myself as a little bit bi. im attracted to boys. i love cute or handsome guys, but i dont mind doing stuff with girls. girls dont really turn me on but i dont mind experimenting with them. its just for the feeling. i still prefer boys a lot more

[Hermes]

There is a tendancy to see sexuality as a dichotomy of gay and straight and therefore to be confused by anything that suggests that one isn't 100% one or the other. That is a defect only in how we use these labels.

When guys worry about being gay what they are usually worried about how they might not conform to the expections others have of them which are based on being straight (such as marrying a woman, having children etc.) and that they may have to "come out" to have a normal relationship with a male partner while not having to hide.

Those challenges are around having a male partner, not around sex with another guy. From your description your attraction to girls is both sexual and romantic and your future partners will be girls/women. The fact you were able to get off with another guy doesn't change that so there is not need to fear the fact you have done that or to be frightenned of the prospect of doing it again.

[ashdaniel]

Ya, it will be quiet frightening but just relax. According to a survey conduct for the male between age of 18-24 in UK more than 49% of them saying that they are more than straight that they experience something with the same gender. It normal to experience but remember to be safe. Don't need to panic, you determine who you are. Here is a link to the article I mentioned. http://www.queerty.com/survey-finds-more-and-more-straight-guys-are-going-gay-and-liking-it-20150817

[prepkid813]

Ok, so you and your BF had a sexual moment. You liked part of it, but now you do not want a repeat, he does. Experimenting does not mean you are gay/bi. It is simply experimenting. That being said, if there are aspects you dislike now that you tried it all, just avoid engaging in those. If you really do not want to repeat any of it just be up front about it and say so. You two cannot go back to the way things were before the sex, but you can continue to be best friends, even closer and better friends than before. Good luck with the friendship and with whichever direction you allow it to progress.

I agree 100%

[Thylacine]

I wouldn't recommend spur of the moment gay sex, for obvious reasons... These things need to be prepared for. I'm sorry you had a bad experience though, but remember it doesn't have to go THAT far. If you aren't comfortable make sure your friend knows... He can find someone else. All the best, this doesn't make you gay.

[Sandybeaches]

Thanks for all the help guys, but idk if it's JUST a sexual attraction. I mean I said that it's not something i want to do again but we still have done stuff together since then, nothing major like sex but just messing around and I keep thinking to myself I don't want to do it but i do it anyway

[pjones]

Thanks for all the help guys, but idk if it's JUST a sexual attraction. I mean I said that it's not something i want to do again but we still have done stuff together since then, nothing major like sex but just messing around and I keep thinking to myself I don't want to do it but i do it anyway

you're still figuring things out. are you both having fun, not pressuring each other? then go for it. in my opinion, nothing wrong having fun with a same sex friend.

[tulolita2015]

Dont worry too much about it we all are curious and have experiences its just the puberty process. Thats happened to me with a girlfriend in her house i have no regrets at all i learn from my experiences and mistakes.

[ashdyn]

Thanks for all the help guys, but idk if it's JUST a sexual attraction. I mean I said that it's not something i want to do again but we still have done stuff together since then, nothing major like sex but just messing around and I keep thinking to myself I don't want to do it but i do it anyway

It's hard to turn down a free BJ or handy...especially if you don't have anyone else to do it for you lol you keep thinking you don't want to do it cause you're worried about what it means about your sexuality. How bout not worrying about labeling yourself or what you're doing and just enjoy the moment. Just let him know out front that it's just messing around and her not going to go any further than that.

About the sex. Y'all just didn't prep right lol it's hard to have spontaneous boy-boy sex cause you do need to prep. There's just some people that aren't ever into it and it's okay to not be.

[sam99]

you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. you tried it, did not like it, you don't have to do it again if you don't want to, even if your friend wants you to

i totally agree!

It's hard to turn down a free BJ or handy...especially if you don't have anyone else to do it for you lol you keep thinking you don't want to do it cause you're worried about what it means about your sexuality. How bout not worrying about labeling yourself or what you're doing and just enjoy the moment. Just let him know out front that it's just messing around and her not going to go any further than that.

About the sex. Y'all just didn't prep right lol it's hard to have spontaneous boy-boy sex cause you do need to prep. There's just some people that aren't ever into it and it's okay to not be.

i do agree with this answer to your follow up question here as well. a bj or hj is a bj or hj. it is totally up to you to decide whether or not it is gay or decreasing your ability to decide your sexuality

[Maria16 Here]

It was experimenting and personally I think everyone should experiment to learn exactly what they like and don't like. I myself am bi but was scared the first time with a girl (was scared first time with a guy too). I feel sorry for those who are willing to experiment and learn.

[HunterDaniels]

I don't really know how to talk about this but here it goes.

A few days ago i walked home with my best friend and we were talking about girls, porn, wanking, etc. That's something i have never really talked openly about with friends in real life, only on VT.
I'm straight, I've even had a girlfriend and i have crushes and find girls hot. So i have no idea why when we got to my friends house we ended kissing each other on his bed, feeling each other up and giving each other head and then tried sex :(
I didn't really enjoy the sex that much and i nearly threw up when we stopped cuz of all the mess, but still was turned on by his boner and sucked it again. I just don't understand why i enjoyed sucking him so much. I mean the thought of it makes me feel horrible but at the time i was nearly going to cum just by sucking him.
Then he jizzed in my mouth and i nearly threw up again.

I ran out the house, I've text him since saying it was a mistake and i don't want to do it ever again. But he just said it was great and thank you and how he does want to do it again.
I'm just so confused and messed up in my head. It's it possible to be gay or bi and not even know it?
I'm straight and love girls, but gay sex is pretty gay.
I just don't really know what to think. :(

First stop worrying about labeling yourself. You had sex with a guy so you're gay, or you like girls so you must be straight... It doesn't matter. It's not so black and white.
I think personally it's a big mistake to fool around with your best friend.
Just because this could change everything. But it's done and now you have to deal with it. So I think you're right to tell him it was a mistake. Only because a friendship can last a lifetime but a hookup is short. And can ruin a friendship.

As far as how you felt about it, don't feel guilty for LIKING it!
I'm gay but if a girl sucked me off it would still feel good for me! Lol
Its normal to enjoy it but feel weird at the same time cuz it's new to you (with a guy)

[thatonekidjacob]

I don't really know how to talk about this but here it goes.

A few days ago i walked home with my best friend and we were talking about girls, porn, wanking, etc. That's something i have never really talked openly about with friends in real life, only on VT.
I'm straight, I've even had a girlfriend and i have crushes and find girls hot. So i have no idea why when we got to my friends house we ended kissing each other on his bed, feeling each other up and giving each other head and then tried sex :(
I didn't really enjoy the sex that much and i nearly threw up when we stopped cuz of all the mess, but still was turned on by his boner and sucked it again. I just don't understand why i enjoyed sucking him so much. I mean the thought of it makes me feel horrible but at the time i was nearly going to cum just by sucking him.
Then he jizzed in my mouth and i nearly threw up again.

I ran out the house, I've text him since saying it was a mistake and i don't want to do it ever again. But he just said it was great and thank you and how he does want to do it again.
I'm just so confused and messed up in my head. It's it possible to be gay or bi and not even know it?
I'm straight and love girls, but gay sex is pretty gay.
I just don't really know what to think. :(

Hormones make us crazy.

[Awakened Sin]

but gay sex is pretty gay.:(
Indeed, it is.

[Gayjack20]

I have has some thoughts about it but haven't done it

[Beach_Blonde]

I think it's all hormones on your part. You gotncuriou and you tried it. I think he reason you liked it so much was because it felt good. You were sexually enjoying yourself. I know that when I orgasm I'm on top of the world. That's probably what happend honestly. You liked it because it was sexually gratifying and that's all. But if you don't want to do it again don't. You have that right

[RiHouse]

Instead of worrying about it too much just think about it like this: You experienced something to try it out and decided it wasn't for you.

[Dalton_Holt]

Sexuality is defined by how you feel romantically towards other sexes. Not by which gender you're willing to have sex with.

[Jamesclarke]

You just need to try and remain calm about everything. If you want something you want it and if you don't you don't. Don't restrict yourself to thinking you need to spend hours decifering whether your straight or bi or whatever just explore what you want in your own time.

[JessiF]

Its all part of growing up. Dont worry too much about it. Right now we are all just curious and experimenting...

[egrea9]

Well, I can help you out here as I've done exactly the same thing but I went in a rather different direction. Like all guys your bound to get urges and just someone to help you with those is good and sometimes that someone is a guy. You need to look back on it and decide if it was an urge driven encounter or it actually ment something and you'd do it again. I always thought I was straight and then I had sex with my best friend. He's not anymore but since that, I haven't stopped shagging guys. I view these opportunities as an awakening, you either are or not and only you can decide. Good luck with it all
and remember you can always stay friends with someone after these encounters

[lliam]

I just don't really know what to think. :
(



JUST SAY NO!

And let him bear with it.

FiN !!





btw: Even if you are gay, that doesn't mean that you should've sex with him again, if you think it was a mistake.

[riolu]

why tell internet

[hekohnice]

I think a lot of people have been in your shoes.

If you don't like the actual thing, but like thinking about then DONT DO IT AGAIN. But no shame in thinking about it.

If you do want to again, at least you know you have someone available!

[warbit]

At the end of the day, do what ever you are comfortable with but don't be in denial if you do think that you aren't straight. Btw don't worry too much about it, just don't let it happen again if you don't want it to :)

[DoodleSnap]

A huge amount of teens go through exactly what you're going through: it's perfectly normal.
In our society, we are told from a young age that being straight is "normal" and what most people are. Anything other than straight is deemed bad, and we are taught to be disgusted by it. This attitude is changing, little by little nowadays, but it is still often the status quo.

Now, a lot of psychologists would actually suggest that most people in the world aren't actually 100% straight; but somewhere in the middle of the spectrum instead: basically a lot more people are bisexual than you might think.
So combine these two things together, and, like yourself, you find people feeling bad when they start to find that they like someone that they wouldn't think they would.

I have gone through this: it's a really tough thing to get your head around. You feel disgusted by the thought that you could like boys, and desperately just want to pretend that it hasn't happened. But that doesn't work, believe me.

I think that you are probably somewhere on the spectrum of being bisexual, by the sounds of it. That's okay. I know that you may freak out at first, but believe me, a lot more people are bisexual than they would admit.
The important thing is to normalise what you're feeling: that doesn't mean that you should go and have sex and feel uncomfortable, but instead, just try to come to terms with what your identity may be.

Look: according to a YouGov survey, half of 18-24 year olds identified as something other than straight. (Source) (https://yougov.co.uk/news/2015/08/16/half-young-not-heterosexual/)

You may not want to identify as a certain label, or you may do. I think that the best thing to do is to put labels behind you, and to just find out from experience what it is that you like, and just keep an open mind. It'll take time, but one day, you will find your place.
It's totally okay to feel the way you do, and it makes sense that you're confused. But know that just because you like boys, doesn't mean that you have to adhere to the stereotypes of being gay, or whatever. Your sexuality doesn't define you: I'm bisexual and most people wouldn't know it - I just act like myself, and you should too.

In the meantime, I would just try and speak to your friend about how you felt: tell him some of your thoughts, and be honest with your feelings. I'm sure he'll understand. And remember: just because this happened, it doesn't mean that you can't like girls as well as boys.

Good luck, and if you need to talk, send me a message.