Help?

[mega_man12]

So I've kinda got an embarrassing story and I'm not sure what to think about it. I've lived my entire life believing I'm straight. I've never felt sexual urges towards people of the same gender. I'm a man, and I've always found women to be attractive. I do admire men, and I began to question whether there may have been a sexual connotation to that admiration, but I dismissed it at the time because I haven't had a solid father figure and felt that I was simply seeking out strong handsome men as a replacement for that. However, recently in my gym class I saw this girl, whom i found attractive in a kind of quirky way. There was an age gap (I'm a senior in HS, but young for my grade and she's a freshman), but I found her somewhat attractive. I found out however, that this girl actually turned out to be a guy, when someone called her "Ben" (I've changed the name for anonymity). The evidence even further mounted when during a firedrill, Ben went with the boys. I don't know if I still find him attractive, but this is bothering me. I've only gotten boners from women, and I've never had any fantasies about guys, even subliminally as far as I can tell. My first wet dream was with a girl. But does this make me gay or bi? I don't know and I don't know who to talk to about this.

[TheHood]

First of all. How did you think that 'Ben' was a girl? Not to be rude or anything. But I have never mistakes a girl for a boy. But anyway. What's the big fuss? The is nothing wrong with being bi or gay. But to answer your question. It depends in if you're still attracted to 'Ben'. If you are you are most likely bi or bi curious. And there is nothing wrong with that. As long as you can accept yourself for who you are. It'll be fine.
Sorry if this wasn't helpful but I tried my best

~TheHood

[mega_man12]

"Ben" is one of those people that can be either really. Kinda has a boyish look that could just be a tom boy girl. And I'm not sure if I am, I'm conflicted. I don't identify at all with being bi or bi curious, but I don't know. How does one know if you are? And what exactly does bi curious mean?

[ashdaniel]

Relax bud, you don't need to worry. It is totally fine. For example, in UK, most guys or heterosexual guys have experience with other guy before. It is pretty normal. Sexual urge is pretty common is that person caught your eyes. Unless you want to have sex or attractive to guys all the time. I don't see there are any problem with your heterosexual orientation. Even you are bi or gay so what, it is 2015. Same gender marriage is legal in the state now. Relax, enjoy your life and be yourself, remember there is entire community out here supporting you.

[Bluebyrd]

I'd say if it's only one boy that you like, you're probably just straight but curious. Don't feel pressured to label yourself though

[mega_man12]

Hey guys, thanks to all. I feel a lot better now. Not that being gay is bad or wrong, neither is being bi, just if I were it would make me feel really different. Realizing that you're an entirely different person is pretty tough, and having to announce is to people. I understand partly how gay people feel now. And yea, I'm not really attracted to him. The feeling was just a bit... new. I suppose since I haven't felt it before, I'm fine. Anyways, thanks all!

[Hermes]

...It depends in if you're still attracted to 'Ben'. If you are you are most likely bi or bi curious...

I am not sure I'd agree with that. Being attracted to someone is not an intellectual exercise - it is not governed by the cerebral cortex that governs conscious thought but by the older, more primitive parts of the brain. As such knowing (a function of the cortex) that someone who looks like a woman is actually a man may cause you to not to have sex with him but it won't change the basic attraction.

The attraction to a woman, or a man, will be based on various cues - mainly visual but also including smell, voice etc. Women tend to have a rounder face. softer features and in particular a less angular chin, shapely hips, a narrower waist and breasts. Guys tend to have longer faces with a deeper, more angular, chin, broader shoulders and narrower hips. If someone displays the cues for the sex you are interested in, then attraction is automatic and unconscious.