Need an opinion.

[justindw199]

Hey guys, just need an opinion quickly.

So if any of you regularly read my post's, you'll know about this girl. For those who don't, quick rundown...

Basically, she saved my life, and I've fallen in love with her (there really isn't any other word to describe it). I'm almost certain she at least likes me back, but I'm starting to be unsure again.

Right now, we are extremely close friends, we talk about everything to one another.

It's never been a flirty relationship, though it has been very physical. We hug a lot, and we put our hands on each others shoulder's a lot. We try and spend as much time as we can together.

I know that she is always brutally honest with me, and now that I think back, she's told me that she see's me as a friend. But at the same time, she's also told me I'm one of the sweetest and most kind people she's ever met.

So I'm a little confused, even more that I wrote this post. Any thoughts?

[ashdyn]

I can totally relate to your situation. You could say my gf saved my life too. Before I met her I was hanging out with toxic people, was really into drugs and alcohol, and dealing with undiagnosed depression and thoughts of suicide. When we first met I didn't even think of her as the type of person I'd date or who would want to date me but we became really good friends. Despite being almost completely different and coming from different backgrounds we just clicked and became best friends. I realized she brought out the best in me that I had never even noticed existed. Anyway, the point is I never went into it looking to date her. We became best friends and that just grew into a different kind of relationship. So don't listen to people that say don't date your best or close friends or people that talk about friend zones. Also, don't take her saying she sees you as a good friend as like a sign to move on cause she'll never see you any other way. Sometimes it just takes people some time to realize that what they've been looking for has been right in front of them the whole time.

[justindw199]

I can totally relate to your situation. You could say my gf saved my life too. Before I met her I was hanging out with toxic people, was really into drugs and alcohol, and dealing with undiagnosed depression and thoughts of suicide. When we first met I didn't even think of her as the type of person I'd date or who would want to date me but we became really good friends. Despite being almost completely different and coming from different backgrounds we just clicked and became best friends. I realized she brought out the best in me that I had never even noticed existed. Anyway, the point is I never went into it looking to date her. We became best friends and that just grew into a different kind of relationship. So don't listen to people that say don't date your best or close friends or people that talk about friend zones. Also, don't take her saying she sees you as a good friend as like a sign to move on cause she'll never see you any other way. Sometimes it just takes people some time to realize that what they've been looking for has been right in front of them the whole time.

Thanks for the kind words!

But I was more looking for if you think she likes me back or not, I just don't want to make things awkward between us.

[ashdyn]

She could. And if y'all are as close as you say chances are yes she does like you lol the sucky part is you can't ever really know 100% til you commit to taking it to the next level. Eventually you're gunna have to just take the jump and ask her how she would feel if you told her you LIKE like her.

[justindw199]

She could. And if y'all are as close as you say chances are yes she does like you lol the sucky part is you can't ever really know 100% til you commit to taking it to the next level. Eventually you're gunna have to just take the jump and ask her how she would feel if you told her you LIKE like her.

Alright man, thanks!

[Derek951]

The only real way to know if she likes you or not is just to straight up ask. Just be prepared for whatever answer she gives you. You said she's brutally honest, so it sounds like she won't lead you on or squirm out of answering. I admit, my approach has always been once a girl is in the "friend zone", that's it. Being romantic or going further is kind of off the table for me at that point. That's just me though. Plenty of other people "discover" their best friend is the one for them. If she says she just wants to be friends, you may have to just accept that's how it is. Don't make yourself crazy by pining way and missing other opportunities. And realize having her as a friend is definitely better than not having her in your life at all. And all that anxiety of not knowing will at least be over.

[justindw199]

The only real way to know if she likes you or not is just to straight up ask. Just be prepared for whatever answer she gives you. You said she's brutally honest, so it sounds like she won't lead you on or squirm out of answering. I admit, my approach has always been once a girl is in the "friend zone", that's it. Being romantic or going further is kind of off the table for me at that point. That's just me though. Plenty of other people "discover" their best friend is the one for them. If she says she just wants to be friends, you may have to just accept that's how it is. Don't make yourself crazy by pining way and missing other opportunities. And realize having her as a friend is definitely better than not having her in your life at all. And all that anxiety of not knowing will at least be over.

I agree with you there, we'll see what happens over Christmas. I'm surprising her with a really thoughtful gift this year, so I'll have to see how she reacts. It's not romantic, but it should be very special to her.

[Derek951]

I'm sure she'll like whatever it is. If you're friends already, you probably know what to get her. but the holidays are still a ways off, just going to take it slow til then?

[justindw199]

I'm sure she'll like whatever it is. If you're friends already, you probably know what to get her. but the holidays are still a ways off, just going to take it slow til then?

That's what I'm thinking. We're both juniors right now, and considering our colleges are going to be within 30 minutes of each other, we have a long time. No sense in rushing things and making it awkward.

[Uniquemind]

I think you're purely a friend to her.

I think she'd drop more hints if she was interested in you romantically. But what's also telling is if she's been interested in seeing someone else or not. If he's not in the dating game, that absence and decision to hang with you instead is also telling.

But if she says your a friend, then you're a friend, especially with a history of brutal honesty with you.

But by all means ask her if you are uncertain. Or use mistle toe, as an excuse.

[justindw199]

I think you're purely a friend to her.

I think she'd drop more hints if she was interested in you romantically. But what's also telling is if she's been interested in seeing someone else or not. If he's not in the dating game, that absence and decision to hang with you instead is also telling.

But if she says your a friend, then you're a friend, especially with a history of brutal honesty with you.

But by all means ask her if you are uncertain. Or use mistle toe, as an excuse.

That's the thing, she doesn't talk about ANY other guys around me (other than her brother, since she is deeply christian, I'm certain she isn't interested in him! :lol:). She doesn't really do dating (she hasn't dated anyone since middle school), she doesn't want to be in a relationship that she feels won't last. We always talk about just how different we really are compared to the rest of the school. I know she is more than a little shy when it comes to romantic things. For example, we were talking about prom once and she said she'd like to go. I asked her who she'd like to go with, and she said she didn't know, she may have a boyfriend by then. So of course I asked who she was interested in. She seemed to dodge the question and then smiled at me.

To me that just comes across that she meant me, but I don't know, you may see different. Like I said, come Christmas time, I know that she will die over this gift, and her true feelings will be apparent enough in how she reacts to it. I'm just going to hold out until then and see what happens.

[Uniquemind]

That's the thing, she doesn't talk about ANY other guys around me (other than her brother, since she is deeply christian, I'm certain she isn't interested in him! :lol:). She doesn't really do dating (she hasn't dated anyone since middle school), she doesn't want to be in a relationship that she feels won't last. We always talk about just how different we really are compared to the rest of the school. I know she is more than a little shy when it comes to romantic things. For example, we were talking about prom once and she said she'd like to go. I asked her who she'd like to go with, and she said she didn't know, she may have a boyfriend by then. So of course I asked who she was interested in. She seemed to dodge the question and then smiled at me.

To me that just comes across that she meant me, but I don't know, you may see different. Like I said, come Christmas time, I know that she will die over this gift, and her true feelings will be apparent enough in how she reacts to it. I'm just going to hold out until then and see what happens.

That's different then, now that you mentioned that little interaction there.

That for a girl, is heavy flirting, even if you think it was a mild thing. Jump on that opportunity because that is a green light.

[justindw199]

That's different then, now that you mentioned that little interaction there.

That for a girl, is heavy flirting, even if you think it was a mild thing. Jump on that opportunity because that is a green light.

That's very reassuring! I think I will talk to her about it today or tomorrow, when we have some private time. I think it is time to know for sure.

[justindw199]

*sigh*

I was going to tell her today, but of course the girl I came extremely close to being a relationship with had to pull a stunt. We haven't talked in well over a month and things haven't been the kindest between us. So she reached out to me this morning and was being very kind. Then of course I ask if we can talk over lunch, maybe just put the whole situation to bed. "No sorry, I don't have that lunch," she said. You can guess what lunch she was in. -_- Yeah, she lied to my face.

So much for having the confidence to tell her. :(

[Uniquemind]

*sigh*

I was going to tell her today, but of course the girl I came extremely close to being a relationship with had to pull a stunt. We haven't talked in well over a month and things haven't been the kindest between us. So she reached out to me this morning and was being very kind. Then of course I ask if we can talk over lunch, maybe just put the whole situation to bed. "No sorry, I don't have that lunch," she said. You can guess what lunch she was in. -_- Yeah, she lied to my face.

So much for having the confidence to tell her. :(

Who was she hanging with then? My school has the same lunch time for everyone so I can't relate to her excuse.

[justindw199]

Who was she hanging with then? My school has the same lunch time for everyone so I can't relate to her excuse.

Sorry, I'm talking about two different people here. There was another girl before this girl that I used to have a crush on, her name is Scout. We had gone as far as to say we liked each other, and about a week later she completely tore me down, we haven't talked until today. Our school has two different lunches, and every trimester the lunch we have changes depending on our classes. So the new trimester just started, and I asked her what lunch she had so we could talk, and she lied to my face telling me she didn't have my lunch, yet, there she was. She even noticed me sitting alone, and blew me off. I swear, I think she considers that whole situation a game. The girl I've been talking about, Elisabeth, didn't do anything. Just Scout ruined my mood and I didn't feel comfortable telling Elisabeth anymore. I would've had my chance otherwise.

[justindw199]

Ah well, I'm just going to try again at a later date. Thanks for all the help this far guys, this means a ton.

[Uniquemind]

Ah well, I'm just going to try again at a later date. Thanks for all the help this far guys, this means a ton.

Scout sounds like a drama queen, my advice is to avoid her, and also figure out why you were ever attracted to her person in the first place.

Focus on Elisabeth then, don't get the appearance of a "player", focus on one issue at a time.

[justindw199]

Scout sounds like a drama queen, my advice is to avoid her, and also figure out why you were ever attracted to her person in the first place.

Focus on Elisabeth then, don't get the appearance of a "player", focus on one issue at a time.

I know why I liked her, we met doing one of our biggest passions, horses. We would talk all night, and almost everything about each was exactly alike. Same interest, same history, same hair color, same eyecolor, everything. We were almost twins. We just kinda fell for each other.

Now that she has pulled this stunt, I'm avoiding her as much as I can.

[Uniquemind]

I know why I liked her, we met doing one of our biggest passions, horses. We would talk all night, and almost everything about each was exactly alike. Same interest, same history, same hair color, same eyecolor, everything. We were almost twins. We just kinda fell for each other.

Now that she has pulled this stunt, I'm avoiding her as much as I can.

Shared passions or interests alone aren't enough to sustain a relationship.

Sorry.

[justindw199]

Shared passions or interests alone aren't enough to sustain a relationship.

Sorry.

Yeah, learned that the hard way. It's fine though. Probably wouldn't have been a healthy relationship anyways. Besides, I've got a much better girl now to work with.