Girl Troubles

[SillyShyGuy]

So the girl I once had a crush on is now trying to mend our friendship in an odd way. She texts me more often than before, yet it always ends up becoming quite awkward. When she texts she is very disinterested and monotone. In person she is cheerful and friendly. When she is around her crush she is someone I never knew before. He disrespects her by saying something like, "If you leave, who am I going to use as a pillow." It makes her laugh, but I see her being objectified. They are not dating, but it is still weird to hear things like that. Last week when she was with him she poked me from behind and giggled. This weekend at work she would ask me if I was her assistant by handing out the 3D glasses while she attends guests. Then she said, "after break I want to come back and be with you. Maybe I can be the second glasses handler (the joker being there can only ever be one person who hands out glasses). I thought both actions were a form of flirting. Especially the glasses situation, because when we are alone she seems to be very sociable. When I was leaving work with my gay friend I was saying goodbye to friends. My old crush happened to be in the hallway and said bye to me. She smiled and waved. I did not say bye to her.

That is where I become confused. I only see her as a friend, the crush phase is over. I wish I knew what her intentions were. She seems to be interested in me when we are alone, but whenever her crush is around she is all over him like a bee to a flower. Is she flirting with me, judging by those two occurrences? Is she telling me that she likes me? Is she trying to get me to like her again? What is she doing? Please help, thank you.

[EmaLu1995]

Hey sillyShyGuy.
Have you tried taking to her about it? Sometimes its best to tell the person the truth. What is the worst thing that can happen? She could laugh at you. But then you know she doesn't care about you enough and that she is not worth it. And the best thing that can happen? you end up together ;) good luck! and always stay true to yourself!

[SethfromMI]

she is sending mixed messages. the best thing to do is talk with her. if you are not interested, even tell her so (in a gentle way as possible)

[Uniquemind]

This is an indicator that she is conflicted even with herself about what she wants....and it also indicates she's chasing what's stereotypical love, as chasing "passion".

Unless the "objectifying comments made by her crush towards her" is an inside joke between them and he actually treats her well behind closed doors, there isn't much you can do.

I'll bet you anything she's torn between emotional lust and the logical side of her which is saying you're a safer bet.

Emotions always trumps logic, and it's why she's still orbiting him like a moth to a flame.

If you want to compete, will have to subtly flirt with her and joke with her to, but you need to be able to read certain contexts of when to drop comments like that.

I bet you from her perspective the "use as a pillow" comment was interpreted in her mind as "aww he wants to cuddle with me" she doesn't see the objectification in it at all or she just laughed at the nervousness of it all.

She regardless is being playful with you, and you are missing every chance to respond with light-hearted humor with subtle sexual innuendos which I tell you are extremely entertaining if done in a creative witty way.

[ashdyn]

I'm just gunna come out and say it. She's not interested bro. She sounds pretty fake which might be a bummer cause you used to crush on her and all but she just sounds like a tease. Who knows, maybe she's just really friendly. She doesn't seem to want to move things along with you in a serious way...I mean she could be flirting but most likely just to string you along as a backup plan :/

[SillyShyGuy]

I'm just gunna come out and say it. She's not interested bro. She sounds pretty fake which might be a bummer cause you used to crush on her and all but she just sounds like a tease. Who knows, maybe she's just really friendly. She doesn't seem to want to move things along with you in a serious way...I mean she could be flirting but most likely just to string you along as a backup plan :/

She does seem pretty fake at times. I admit I still feel something for her, but not as much as I used to. I could care less if she wants to see that other guy.

But I also want to say I agree with Uniquemind. I believe she is confused and emotionally unstable. If she had to choose between me and the other guy, she would not know how to weigh her options. He is handsome, funny, and has a boring monotone voice. I am shy, kind, and intellectual. When she speaks to me it is usually about school or something intellectual. When she speaks to him it is about social media and Youtube. She may have to choose between a guy she can connect with deep conversations or one that can make her laugh.

I am not saying I still want to be with her. But her actions of late confuse me. Especially when she said, "we should go on a movie date," because she led me on and we never went on that movie date.

[Uniquemind]

She does seem pretty fake at times. I admit I still feel something for her, but not as much as I used to. I could care less if she wants to see that other guy.

But I also want to say I agree with Uniquemind. I believe she is confused and emotionally unstable. If she had to choose between me and the other guy, she would not know how to weigh her options. He is handsome, funny, and has a boring monotone voice. I am shy, kind, and intellectual. When she speaks to me it is usually about school or something intellectual. When she speaks to him it is about social media and Youtube. She may have to choose between a guy she can connect with deep conversations or one that can make her laugh.

I am not saying I still want to be with her. But her actions of late confuse me. Especially when she said, "we should go on a movie date," because she led me on and we never went on that movie date.

How long ago did she drop that question. Because I'll let you in on a little secret, when girls make offers like that you need to understand a few things:

1. Such offers have expiration dates (like coupons).

2. Sometimes they aren't genuine offers they're just teasing.

[ashdyn]

How long ago did she drop that question. Because I'll let you in on a little secret, when girls make offers like that you need to understand a few things:

1. Such offers have expiration dates (like coupons).

2. Sometimes they aren't genuine offers they're just teasing.

Forreal....sometimes they just say those things. I mean we all do at some point. Like when you run into an old friend from a longggg time ago and say "we totally have to hang out sometime" but you really have no intention of getting back in contact with them.

You either missed your shot at that by not following up or she never wanted to do it to begin with.