Touching?

[SillyShyGuy]

I am curious. When it comes to touching someone you like or who likes you, how do you know when it is a good sign? Like High 5-ing and shaking hands can be done by anyone. But what about hugging and poking? That is where I am not sure where to draw the line. The girl that I like has not spoken to me in a few days, but today when she saw me she poked my side. It made me jump and smile. What sort of touching would you say is a good sign? When is it flirting? What forms of touching would you say are reserved for the friendzone?

[Uniquemind]

I am curious. When it comes to touching someone you like or who likes you, how do you know when it is a good sign? Like High 5-ing and shaking hands can be done by anyone. But what about hugging and poking? That is where I am not sure where to draw the line. The girl that I like has not spoken to me in a few days, but today when she saw me she poked my side. It made me jump and smile. What sort of touching would you say is a good sign? When is it flirting? What forms of touching would you say are reserved for the friendzone?

Your approach is flawed.

And this is very characteristic of men/boys, males in general.

It isn't a black or white thing, it's a subtext/context thing, and detecting that is extremely hard. It's something I suspect is more akin to the social element of salesmanship, than anything else.

When I've done school fund raisers, the same sales pitch done consistently door to door for magazines, doesn't always yield the same answer.


The best you can do in the realm of flirting is to hedge your bets based on a multitude of clues some situational, others visual in body language, others auditory, others only apparent when you compare how said person you are observing behaves around you in contrast to others the last one is especially telling.

Now situational clues, factors, variables are not always things you can control, that affect the mood, or opportunity to flirt. (Aka: Time).

But a few general rules that I can give you is almost always this:

1. Don't be seriously judgmental, and if you're making a pun or joke that carries a hint of judgmental tone, it must carry jest humor to counteract pissing us off killing any hidden attraction. Instead be light and jovial, especially at the beginning stages and by all means customize the interaction based on shared interests or interests she brings to you that you genuinely find interesting.

2. Never be fake. We'll see through that usually right away, and disengage considering you seriously as a romantic interest. Others might keep you around as a FWB's but that's all. In some real rare cases we'll be fooled but usually those guys who fool is are really dangerous to be able to wear a facade that good, and that's the level of deception where I think women find themselves sucked into very very bad situations. But that's not what your asking so I'll stop here. Just remember don't be a liar.

[Bull]

You know this is something I have never thought about. I guess I have just done whatever seemed good, right, at the time, with the person/people I was with.

[ashdyn]

There's no sign for when is a good time to hug lol just go for it and tell her "I'm a hugger"

[Shiny Moon]

I think that Uniquemind nailed it (in regards to the subtext/context thing).
And in your case (she poking your side), it's good.

[AutumnWinds]

I am curious. When it comes to touching someone you like or who likes you, how do you know when it is a good sign? Like High 5-ing and shaking hands can be done by anyone. But what about hugging and poking? That is where I am not sure where to draw the line. The girl that I like has not spoken to me in a few days, but today when she saw me she poked my side. It made me jump and smile. What sort of touching would you say is a good sign? When is it flirting? What forms of touching would you say are reserved for the friendzone?

in my mind it varies based on the person. if you notice someone is more touchy feely with one person than everyone else though, it's a safe bet they're into them.

[rioo]

Depend on the person, it may vary. Look at her eye and make sure she believing you, it's important that the person is believing you. It can be romantic or not whatever.

[Melodic]

I usually poke or punch as a way to flirt. Eh, I actually don't punch anymore because I accidentally triggered a guy by doing that once and so now I stick to the occasional poke or a very weak slap on the arm.

As for her, I wouldn't know personally but I think it's a very good sign. Girls don't typically poke unless they are into you. But again, I can't speak for all of them only the ones I know of.

[Uniquemind]

I think that Uniquemind nailed it (in regards to the subtext/context thing).
And in your case (she poking your side), it's good.

Thanks but this begs the question. What about my former post do you think is off?

Or if not wrong, is too opinionated?

[SillyShyGuy]

Thanks for all the advice and opinions. I must admit I would not hug a girl unless I know she likes to be hugged (she will hug me before I hug her). I usually let girls make the first move. Like when my friend Alyssa sits super close to me and leans in when she asks me a question. Or when my friend Hayley compliments me at random which makes me blush every time :)

[hesaidhesaid]

This: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEjq0_1vLrM
Sounds lame but I consider it the starting point of any flirtation any who or anyhow. But every situation is different.
-H

[Just a Guy]

Everyone has a different touchiness to them... Like each person has a different line between normal and flirty

[angelina]

you have got a green signal ( poking your side) from her...go ahead

[Derek951]

Thanks for all the advice and opinions. I must admit I would not hug a girl unless I know she likes to be hugged (she will hug me before I hug her). I usually let girls make the first move. Like when my friend Alyssa sits super close to me and leans in when she asks me a question. Or when my friend Hayley compliments me at random which makes me blush every time :)

I think you have the right idea here. Each girl is so different, and what is friendly touching to one might be uncomfortable to another. So just read off of what they do. Don't be afraid to touch back, but in the same way they do. So if you get poked in a fun way, ok to poke back in a fun way, I think. In the end, you gotta trust your insticts and what you know about the girl.