What to do... what to do?

[TheCabbage]

So there's a girl who I quite like and we've been friends for around a year or so although there was some stuff inbetween which meant we didn't talk for a few months, (no disagreement or anything, we just sort've stopped) but we started talking again just a few days ago actually. But anyway I liked her from day one and then when I heard some other guy liked her I stopped any attempt of actually going out with her because I just assumed he would 'win' for lack of a better term.

Skipping forwards to now and she told me how she liked a person but wasn't sure he liked her so she was scared to do anything. I cryptically said that I just don't tell people I like them if I think they don't like me which is a mistake and she shouldn't do it. She found that very useful and decided that she should try to ask him out... which leaves me in the exact spot I was a year ago... again.

So err... what exactly do I do here? I really want to just tell her, but that seems like such a bad decision after what I just did. It's also incredibly likely that she doesn't like me in the same way so whilst I know what I want to do, I also know that in all probability it would be the wrong decision. Wouldn't it?

[AutumnWinds]

you should 100% tell her how you feel. its better to regret the things you've done than the things you wish you'd done.

[TheCabbage]

But is it not a bit odd to go 'yeah you should totally ask out this guy..... but I like you just so you know'?

Also, I've never even had any sortve relationship ever so how would I even go about telling her?

[SillyShyGuy]

You sir are a true gentleman. You are like me. You would rather help your crush be happy and help her be happy rather than make yourself happy. Although it is a very nice thing to help her, it is silly to let some other guy be with the girl you like. I know you have guts. Just tell her how you feel. Do not put yourself in the situation where you have to see her every day with some other guy while you are sad and alone.
Sometimes when a lady friend asks you for dating advice it means she trusts you first off and that she is comfortable with you. Second it often means she wants to know how you would feel about her dating another guy. Sometimes a girl wants you to be jealous so she knows that you are clearly into her. One of my lady friends asked me about another guy and I told her if I was him I would make sure she were happy. I told her if I was him I would cuddle her, make her breakfast in bed, and give her flowers. She reconsidered dating him, and a few months later we started dating. Score! Jsut be honest before you lose the girl you like to someone else.

[TheCabbage]

Ok. I'll give it a go, but how exactly? It's not something I've ever done before?

[SillyShyGuy]

Just ask her to spend time with you. Or tell her that you have feelings for her. Be confident and show her that she would be crazy to choose the other guy over you.

[TheCabbage]

Not all tales have a happy ending sadly, and this was one of those times. Maybe if I had been quicker and more decisive it could have been different but I'll never know the answer to that. What this has done though is given me a learning experience to actually say something, I'll do things differently in future.

[AutumnWinds]

Not all tales have a happy ending sadly, and this was one of those times. Maybe if I had been quicker and more decisive it could have been different but I'll never know the answer to that. What this has done though is given me a learning experience to actually say something, I'll do things differently in future.

you should be proud of yourself for being brave enough to tell her how you feel. it may not have worked out well, but you did what you could, and if you keep being honest like that it's only a matter of time before you find a girl who reciprocates your feelings for her.

[hesaidhesaid]

I commend you for standing up to yourself and to her and giving it a go. And as they say, "there's always plenty of fish in the sea."

All the best.