For those in relationships.

[Uniquemind]

So honest question for all couples, and it's a sensitive question so fair warning.


How open are you with your partner when communicating what you like or dislike sexually?


No details as per forum rules, but like how easily or hard is communication admitting these things to a partner for you?

Also how does it affect the quality of the relationship itself overall?


Is communicating these things something that's a problem because of shyness due to yourself, or just with a particular partner due to that particular relationship's chemistry or lack thereof?

[Gwen]

If you are planning or are sexually active with your partner is should be pretty obvious that it is beneficial to know what each other likes. If you are already at the point of being sexually active with them, you are probably already open to each other unless you are a gigolo or what not. At least that is my experience with it all. I guess first timers would probably be pretty shy and confused about the whole thing.

[Shiny Moon]

Well, I'm not in a serious relationship right now. I've two FWB and I'm very open with both about anything related to sex.
I think it's very important to be honest about this kind of stuff, because, like someone else said, it's beneficial to know what each other likes ;)

[Sports Boy]

I just recently ended a long term relationship but after going out for about 6 months we were pretty comfortable with each other and became much more open about what we liked. I was always willing to bring up and try new stuff but if she said no to it, I definitely respected the limits. I think open communication about sex in a relationship can really make it strong.

[Uniquemind]

If you are planning or are sexually active with your partner is should be pretty obvious that it is beneficial to know what each other likes. If you are already at the point of being sexually active with them, you are probably already open to each other unless you are a gigolo or what not. At least that is my experience with it all. I guess first timers would probably be pretty shy and confused about the whole thing.

Actually I started this thread partially because I'm finding among my friends who come from sexually repressed moral environments, is they have trouble communicating their wants/likes/dislikes with their partners.

That's why I started the thread.

It seems to affect more girls than boys, but some boys are affected too.

[hesaidhesaid]

Very...Liam and I need to talk about these things all the time. We are both good communicators.

[Typhlosion]

We're still figuring it out each other. Honestly, we haven't had intercourse yet. We're still pretty shy about it all but nothing necessary goes unsaid. It's just kinda awkward. I don't feel like it affects our relationship at all (or, being much more open might be weird considering the circumstances). I say it's both because of personal shyness and hers too.

Does that help? Or would you want a different/more specific answer?

[Cadanance00]

My gf is very uncomfortable talking about sex, unfortunately. We haven't had it yet but will soon. She won't even say we're going to have sex, she just says we are going to go to bed together. Maybe after we do she'll be more willing to talk about it.

[ashdyn]

It depends on how long you've been dating and how serious y'all are a list eachother. Early on in my relationship I was kinda shy about it, but as we grew closer and gained more trust in eachother we both opened up more. So now we're both of the mindset that we'll pretty much try anything once.

[SethfromMI]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year so we are both very open and good about communicating about anything, even when it comes to sex. though it is something I was always good at communicating in an appropriate, but open manner

[Uniquemind]

My gf is very uncomfortable talking about sex, unfortunately. We haven't had it yet but will soon. She won't even say we're going to have sex, she just says we are going to go to bed together. Maybe after we do she'll be more willing to talk about it.

I think it's important to cuddle first in your case. It helps with the bonding.

Have you asked her where her shyness comes from? (How she's raised etc?)

I have a friend who had a lot of angst, but she came from a Christian household, and she felt a lot of internal shame, to the point where she needed professional counseling.

[Cadanance00]

I think it's important to cuddle first in your case. It helps with the bonding.

Have you asked her where her shyness comes from? (How she's raised etc?)

I have a friend who had a lot of angst, but she came from a Christian household, and she felt a lot of internal shame, to the point where she needed professional counseling.

She doesn't come from a religious household but I gather that sex isn't a subject any of them are comfortable talking about. Sort of swept under the rug.
Her mother is an alcoholic and really isn't there as a mother much.

[Uniquemind]

She doesn't come from a religious household but I gather that sex isn't a subject any of them are comfortable talking about. Sort of swept under the rug.
Her mother is an alcoholic and really isn't there as a mother much.

That explains a lot. She's learning about life in a solo sense, I also assume she's lacking any female positive role models?

[CuteGuy889]

My GF likes to put her hand up my tee and feel my back and sides when we walk togethr...This show my back to the public also she sometimes just grope my butt in public....I feel embarresed and slowly move her hand away..

[Cadanance00]

That explains a lot. She's learning about life in a solo sense, I also assume she's lacking any female positive role models?

I guess not. She's trying to be a role model for her sister, who's 11.

She's close to her sister, which I think is more common with sisters as it is with brothers. They tell each other everything & her sis & mine are friends so I can count on everything I tell L to get back to my sis, which means my sis knows everything we do together (!) One reason my relationship with both my gf & my sis are a little strained at the moment.