Why girls date older boys?

[SillyShyGuy]

I am not trying to say it is wrong for girls to date boys that are older than them. Likewise, I am not saying it is wrong for boys to date older girls. Girls, why do you decide to date older boys sometimes? Curious. Why date someone older? How much older? What are you looking for in an older boy? What was the longest relationship you have had with an older boy?


Thanks for replying.

[AutumnWinds]

i'm not really comfortable saying how much older the guy i'm seeing is, but it's significant. i don't really think i went after him due to age per se. he seemed different than the boys my age, and more mature, and we found out we had a lot in common. i think what attracted me most was that he was fully formed if that makes any sense. like he knew who he was, and that made him stable and easy to trust, because he's consistent and true to his word, which is find is not the case with other boys i know who are my age.

[Zack2]

I think they just want someone who knows what he is doing and more mature than people her own age.

[Uniquemind]

Pretty much what everyone else said.

The flip side question is: What are we supposed to gain by staying within the same age range?


Let me also add that it isn't age persay because they're plenty of examples of old loser guys age 17+ who are not altogether or mature. They're older but they probably aren't having success with women in healthy relationships.

Younger guys tend to be loose canons, in the sense they live for the moment but that's thrilling but also unsettling because they aren't in-tune to nurture a long term relationship. They also are financially dependent on their parents.

Older guys who have their life goals in order, provide stability and seem to read us better and therefore reciprocate more equally within a relationship. Financial independence also helps with a man's freedom to express themselves, that expression, is necessary to see what they bring to the table of a relationship, be it short term or long term.

But this is just my experience.

P.S. This also doesn't mean older guys won't cheat, they certainly can and have. But this wasn't brought up as a talking point.

[Bull]

When I was in high school I dated a lot of girls my age and found them to be shallow and kind of silly. I was duel enrolled and found the college girls much more interesting to be around so began dating two to four years older. Now that I am in college full time I am in a relationship with my age. I think it is not so much about chronological age as it is maturity and interests. Be with a person with whom you share interests. Maybe older, maybe younger, maybe same age group. Doesn't matter. Date a person who is interesting and fun and makes you happy.

[Uniquemind]

When I was in high school I dated a lot of girls my age and found them to be shallow and kind of silly. I was duel enrolled and found the college girls much more interesting to be around so began dating two to four years older. Now that I am in college full time I am in a relationship with my age. I think it is not so much about chronological age as it is maturity and interests. Be with a person with whom you share interests. Maybe older, maybe younger, maybe same age group. Doesn't matter. Date a person who is interesting and fun and makes you happy.

While I wholeheartedly agree, I just wanted to say I think the OP was referring to general trends.

Relationship statistics do show the female is usually younger than the male partner within romantic relationships. It's still a trend worth an explanation.

[Salad_Baby]

Probably a mixture of how the girl may want someone more knowledgeable, mature and more financially/physically free compared with younger guys, who are primarily wanting a relationship to experience sex. In some more remote cases, a girl may do it as to get with someone who is better/ more 'skilled' when it comes to sex, or has a bigger penis, as he has been able to grow more compared with the younger guys.

[arcticlights]

because boys in our age aren't mature like girls and their mental age is much younger. It's also allured for both, because he (mostly) has more knowledge. and like morristhompson said, younger boys are more obsessed with sex and that's so disgusting, so why not an older boy?

[angelina]

older boys naturally have tolerance,maturity and with balanced attitude

[Uniquemind]

because boys in our age aren't mature like girls and their mental age is much younger. It's also allured for both, because he (mostly) has more knowledge. and like morristhompson said, younger boys are more obsessed with sex and that's so disgusting, so why not an older boy?

No sorry, I get what you're saying but I need to correct this.

Older guys are just as sex obsessed, it's just they know that other things in life matter too and so it gives the impression they're less sex obsessed. This is a recent conclusion I've arrived at from personal experience by the way.

[Typhlosion]

I like how the opposite question has a very different undertone: Why do boys date younger girls? Gone is the glamorizing of higher maturity and the sexual undertone presents itself.

The flip side question is: What are we supposed to gain by staying within the same age range?


Call me silly, but maturing together sounds like an unmissable benefit for the relationship. Growing together.

[Uniquemind]

I like how the opposite question has a very different undertone: Why do boys date younger girls? Gone is the glamorizing of higher maturity and the sexual undertone presents itself.



Call me silly, but maturing together sounds like an unmissable benefit for the relationship. Growing together.

True, but it's also no fun feeling like your with someone when you're ahead of the curve waiting for them to catch up.

That comment was made with the context of being locked in by social acceptable morals, to stay within an age range of plus or minus 0-3 years.

[Magenta]

I like how the opposite question has a very different undertone: Why do boys date younger girls? Gone is the glamorizing of higher maturity and the sexual undertone presents itself.

That does make it sound a lot more predatory but let's say we're talking about a 22-year-old guy and a 20-year-old girl. I'm going with over 18 because then we don't get into the various rules about statutory rape and whatever.

It is proven that women mature faster than men. And I'm sorry, even after 18, you guys still haven't caught up. We don't want to be your mother, we don't want to hold conversations that feel like the ones we had ourselves two years ago. (My dad, at 19, could not cook, do laundry, etc, and my mother who was 24 at the time and thought it was, honestly, kinda pathetic that she had to teach him all of that. A lot of guys do not take on personal responsibility as fast as women do, especially do to gender roles but that's not the point.) The fact is, you're not maturing together because you're at two different speeds. On the flip side, younger girls will be on that older dude's level.

I'm talking small age gaps here because otherwise this could become a giant debate about predators and laws, etc.

I, personally, will never date anyone younger than me, guys or otherwise. I just can't stand it honestly. I'm not going to wait for someone to catch up with me in my stage of life. It's boring and tedious.

[Fiction]

I have to echo the fact that girls mature a lot faster than guys, something that has really come to light for me the last few months.

I was with my ex (who was only a few months older) for 4 years, and when we broke up it was so evident how much more mature I was than him, in how I dealt with the break up and in everything. He's now with someone 3 years younger than him, and I'm now with someone over 2 years older than me. Me and my ex were not of equal maturity, my boyfriend now is, and I assume my ex's girlfriend now is.

Younger guys are just really not on the same level of maturity.

[Nekya]

I wonder in what way girls mature faster.
In some more remote cases, a girl may do it as to get with someone who is better/ more 'skilled' when it comes to sex, or has a bigger penis, as he has been able to grow more compared with the younger guys.It's not remote cases, it is the main reason.

me and most other girls at school have a more immature behaviour than the boys. We get so toxic over the smallest things and can freeze out other classmates for months and basically nearly ruin their school life for really no good reason. While the boys seems to always stay friends. Worst case scenario they give each other a beating and then their good again!
and when I compare boys my age with older guys from parties that I'm invited to or those I observe (when my older brother parties). I'd say that the older guys have a worse behaviour than the boys my age.

Lastly I know my friends are with older guys because they are more dominant, stronger, "cooler" (by having access to drugs) and finally the belief that their dick is bigger. And I admit this is personally why I like older guys as well. This is the case for me and a lot of girls that I know and we are definitely not some special community, this happens in other areas, other countries as well.

as a young girl, I can confirm that it is not because girls mature faster or older boys being more mature.

[Uniquemind]

I wonder in what way girls mature faster.
It's not remote cases, it is the main reason.

me and most other girls at school have a more immature behaviour than the boys. We get so toxic over the smallest things and can freeze out other classmates for months and basically nearly ruin their school life for really no good reason. While the boys seems to always stay friends. Worst case scenario they give each other a beating and then their good again!
and when I compare boys my age with older guys from parties that I'm invited to or those I observe (when my older brother parties). I'd say that the older guys have a worse behaviour than the boys my age.

Lastly I know my friends are with older guys because they are more dominant, stronger, "cooler" (by having access to drugs) and finally the belief that their dick is bigger. And I admit this is personally why I like older guys as well. This is the case for me and a lot of girls that I know and we are definitely not some special community, this happens in other areas, other countries as well.

as a young girl, I can confirm that it is not because girls mature faster or older boys being more mature.

I'm sure both genders give themselves too much credit for how "mature" they are.

As for guys, a female friend of mine claims her rule of thumb which she follows is she'll only consider dating guys age 26 or older at the minimum because they've mellowed out a bit and you can tell whose got their life act together by then and who doesn't, or so she claims.

[LanaPole]

Older boys are more mature and experienced. i could rely on them more. theres a few boys my age that i really like as well. theyre cute.

[Nekya]

I'm sure both genders give themselves too much credit for how "mature" they are.

As for guys, a female friend of mine claims her rule of thumb which she follows is she'll only consider dating guys age 26 or older at the minimum because they've mellowed out a bit and you can tell whose got their life act together by then and who doesn't, or so she claims.

Some 18-20 year old girl dating a 26 year old guy because they are more mature and stable makes sense, at that age they really are adults.
but when 13 year old girls claim they date 18-19 year old guys because they are more mature than boys their age, that is bullshit. 18-19 year old guys are probably the most immature of all. Which any college movie ever is a prime example of. 13 year old boys are more caught up with playing sports and video games and however childish that may seem, it is definitely more mature than getting shitfaced every weekend and doing drugs.

[Uniquemind]

Some 18-20 year old girl dating a 26 year old guy because they are more mature and stable makes sense, at that age they really are adults.
but when 13 year old girls claim they date 18-19 year old guys because they are more mature than boys their age, that is bullshit. 18-19 year old guys are probably the most immature of all. Which any college movie ever is a prime example of. 13 year old boys are more caught up with playing sports and video games and however childish that may seem, it is definitely more mature than getting shitfaced every weekend and doing drugs.

Agreed. Although I do think that's a stereotype, not all 18-20 year olds are party animals. My cousin for example basically was entrenched in pure academia and did not have time to party.

I actually think it's really hard to find an established person in life who has it all together and isn't taken yet.

This is also a bit of a tangent, but I've also known a few girls who've been suckered into doing drugs. Peer pressure or school stressing them to complete piles of homework and they felt they needed an extra boost of energy.

So as stereotypical as we claim girls are more mature than guys, there's some truth in that, but both genders have a long way to go, and girls do fool themselves or seem to have faulty criteria when judging an 18-19 year old party animal, it does seem they are attracted to the thrill, rather than someone steady and mature. And if you're dating for a YOLO thrill, to me that casts doubt on one's own maturity.

Just my two cents.

[AutumnWinds]

Older boys are more mature and experienced. i could rely on them more. theres a few boys my age that i really like as well. theyre cute.

so i'm being nosy, and it;s totally cool if you don't want to say, but how many older boys have you been with? how old were they? i'm curious because i was your age when i met the first guy i was ever seriously into and he was older.

[Vanilla Cupcake]

There is just something that draws me towards them, like a moth to a flame!
Especially guys that are waaaay to old for me. Sigh...

[Daily]

Because the ones who do are shallow sluts that want dicks.

Seriously though, I don't like that all the virgins are predated by immature losers that can't get girls their own age.

[sabbi]

older boys naturally have tolerance,maturity and with balanced attitude

I must have chosen wrong as the two I dated (17) were anything but the above. They were the same as any boy, any age wanting to grope you at the first opportunity. Or am I just unlucky :(

[AutumnWinds]

I must have chosen wrong as the two I dated (17) were anything but the above. They were the same as any boy, any age wanting to grope you at the first opportunity. Or am I just unlucky :(

in my experience, 17 is still kinda immature. my experience, however, is very limited.

[maniamsmart]

Most girls, or at least the girls I know all like the following, if not some:

A guy who has confidence.
A guy who has knowledge.
A guy who can take care of them.
A guy who can be there and help them if needed.
A guy who can protect them.

The list can continue. But the general perception is that if a guy is older than I am (if I was a girl), then he must have some if not all of the above. A lot of it has to do with these girls seeing a lot of bad guys in their age range, so they believe that older guys are better, however, this is not accurate since there are bad guys in every age range. So to a certain degree, unless we're talking about really early ages such as 10-16, there's obviously some degree of truth to that, it's simply a stereotype sort of thing that's been passed down I guess.

Could be completely off but that's my interpretation.

[JessiF]

There is just something that draws me towards them, like a moth to a flame!
Especially guys that are waaaay to old for me. Sigh...

When you say waaay to old are we talking guys in their 30's or just 20's. I have an attraction to guys my age , a few 16 year olds , but I must admit im attracted to one man in my extended family who is almost 40. I dont know why...

[Vanilla Cupcake]

When you say waaay to old are we talking guys in their 30's or just 20's. I have an attraction to guys my age , a few 16 year olds , but I must admit im attracted to one man in my extended family who is almost 40. I dont know why...

Yes I'm talking men around 30-40. There's just something so sexy about them.
Younger guys are sexy too don't get me wrong, but older guys mmmmmm drool.

[Uniquemind]

I also wonder if it's a primate thing.

Because in animal studies young female primates in some baboons and monkeys also tend to prefer older males.

There is no set monogamy though like in humans. But I guess it could be argued a good percentage of humans don't successfully practice 1 partner from birth until death monogamy anyway.

There's a reason childhood sweetheart couples are like super rare.

[Melodic]

Why date someone older? I don't really care much about age. I just won't date a person younger than me. It's just a maturity thing honestly. Most people around my age are immature.

How much older? 3 years max.

What are you looking for in an older boy? Anything I look in any other boy. Mature, kind, witty, funny, and just a blast to be around! I'd also like some common interests as well!

What was the longest relationship you have had with an older boy? 11 months.