Gf's mother is an alcoholic

[Cadanance00]

She's always in the den when I go to her place after school, watching television and has already been drinking. She isn't mean or anything, she just sits there. My mom knows her but she's not sympathetic to alcoholics. My gf has an 11 y/o sister and they're both good friends of my sister and I. IDK. I wish there was something I could do. I don't even know what to ask. Their mother just isn't there for them.

[Sailor Mars]

I don't think you should get involved. It isn't your mother and it isn't your battle. Unless it's going to start really affecting your relationship, personal life, or your gf gets really down about it, then you shouldn't get involved. Not much can be done for these people without like rehab or professional help (some cases are exceptional tho because those people have the willpower to stop)

[Falcons_11]

If you mom is friends with your g/f's mom perhaps she could talk to her and urge her to go into rehab and join AA or something. But if I were you I would stay out of that situation and let the adults handle it.

[Babs]

It isn't your place to get involved. You don't know their mom very well presumably. Leave it to family members.
The best thing you can do is be there for moral support.

[Cadanance00]

Her mom's a writer. She's got this mystique thing that famous writers like Hemingway drank all the time. Only she's not famous. She's just a drunk. It's not like she's abusive, she's just drunk, all the time I think.

My gf's insecure and needy and I sometimes feel like there's not enough that I can give her. It's something I'm not ready for. She wants to take our friendship to the next level next week, and while I'm very much looking forward to it I'm kind of afraid of getting in too deep into something.

[Uniquemind]

Her mom's a writer. She's got this mystique thing that famous writers like Hemingway drank all the time. Only she's not famous. She's just a drunk. It's not like she's abusive, she's just drunk, all the time I think.

My gf's insecure and needy and I sometimes feel like there's not enough that I can give her. It's something I'm not ready for. She wants to take our friendship to the next level next week, and while I'm very much looking forward to it I'm kind of afraid of getting in too deep into something.

That's a red flag, that implies the psychological cycle is starting to affect your girlfriend, potentially her little sister too.

When alcohol becomes a excuse for an emotional pitfall a person has, it becomes a cycle, and since children raised by alcoholics tend to have emotional pitfalls (neediness) if that void cannot be filled they often resort to substance/sex/alcohol addictions to cope.


Rinse, reproduce, repeat. It's very common.


I'd hold off on sex with you're girlfriend, it is a red flag of psychological stuff she needs to deal with first before you go further.

It gets worse if you get her pregnant, or worse she shows a side to herself to deliberate get pregnant by you to keep you around. (condom sabotage, lying about birth control, not knowing antibiotics make birth control useless at times and then proceeding to have bareback sex etc... I've heard it all)

[Cadanance00]

I understand all that. I know her well enough to not be afraid she's going to intentionally get pregnant, I've known her and her family too long for that. She has plans to go to art school and I don't think she wants to sabotage that in any way.

It's just I'm going to be 15 and I'm not ready for a long term commitment. Don't get me wrong, I love her and I want to do this relationship with her, I'm just afraid of it.