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View Full Version : Relationships (or lack thereof) - I need some opinions/advice


justindw199
October 29th, 2015, 09:15 PM
Hey guys, I just need to talk a bit, and maybe get some advice.



To be completely honest, I have never had a girlfriend. I have asked several girls out, and it has just been rejection after rejection. I came very close once (we both said we liked each other), but less than a week later she stopped talking to me altogether. Now, it's just gotten to the point that it feels like I will be alone forever.

I'm not going to lie, I am certainly overweight, I weigh 205lbs and I'm 5'10". Granted, I am very built, it is almost all fat. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to lose weight (or gain weight, for that matter). So is this maybe the reason no girl will go out with me?



I do have one girl that I have a crush on, but I'm just too afraid of being rejected again, except this girl is different. I have never met another girl like her. She is THE most kind and caring person I have ever met. She would never hurt a fly (and I mean that quite literally), she is always there whenever she is needed, she even will go out of her way to find someone who is sitting alone at lunch and go sit with them. She's by far my closest friend, and the only friend I feel I can truly trust with anything. She's changed my life.

At the end of the last school year, my best friends had abandoned me, they were my only friends at the time, and I was not doing to well, I'm just going to say it, I was suicidal. But when no one else cared about what I was going through, she was there, she was the one person who was there for me. I had another thing go on over the summer, and I couldn't talk to her in person, as she had to be with her family in Texas for the summer. I was in a miserable state, so I asked her to call me (we hate texting) and that is was important. She was on the phone with me within ten minutes and spent the next two hours talking to me, making me feel a lot better. I have never met a girl that was willing to do that for me.

Now, almost everyone tells me that we should go out, that we would be the absolute best couple. But she is such an important and close friend to me, I don't know if I should ask her out or not. It really feels too risky, that I might lose her altogether if she says no.

She's told me that she isn't looking to date anyone until she is out of school altogether, and she's told me that high school isn't the place to be looking for a girlfriend, after I talk to her about my failed relationship attempts. So I'm not sure what to think.



I know it is a lot to digest, but what are your thoughts or opinions? Any advice? I'd appreciate anything someone could contribute.

SillyShyGuy
October 29th, 2015, 09:32 PM
There is no need to rush to find a girlfriend, silly. I have been on dates just like you here and there when I was in high school. I did not have a real girlfriend until I was 17. The right one will be revealed in time. If you have a crush on a girl, ask her to spend time with you. Believe me I have been rejected many times too. A few were out of desperation which was a bad idea and the others were girls I really liked. I would say you probably get at least a dozen rejections before you get a girl to say yes. Just ask this girl to see a movie with you. Take a risk and may the oddds be ever in your favor.




Join my group Star Wars Fan Club :)

justindw199
October 29th, 2015, 09:46 PM
I'd be happy to join your club, sounds like fun!

And we have been to the movies together, we spend a lot of time together. But it's never been more than friends.

Babs
October 29th, 2015, 10:33 PM
You're 16, dude. You don't have to worry about not having a girlfriend. Lots of people have never had relationships until, shit, much older than you are.
Also, don't assume that your appearance is the reason you don't have a girlfriend. Maybe it's bad timing, or some other reason.

She seems like an understanding girl. If you feel like you need to tell her how you feel, go for it; it's not always healthy to keep things bottled up. However, she isn't looking for a relationship so you might not get the results you want, but I doubt it will ruin your friendship.

lyhom
October 29th, 2015, 11:03 PM
1. as said before, you're 16. personally, I'm turning 17 in less than a month and I've never had a girlfriend, nor even asked anyone out. granted, that's probably more in the type of person that I am than anything, but the point is is that you've still got plenty of time.

2. I'm not so sure about the situation with your friend, but personally I'd probably just tell her that you got a bit of a crush on her, but are hesitant to ask her out for the reasons you gave. maybe not the best advice, but it's something.

either way, hoping that whatever happens is good. :)

justindw199
October 29th, 2015, 11:28 PM
Thanks for the help guys.

Do you think asking her to prom would be a good start? Considering neither of us are in relationships, and she isn't looking to get into something that won't last. Maybe just go as friends to have the experience of prom? See how things go?

TiorTristan
November 1st, 2015, 12:11 PM
There's no point in asking her straight up to date you, or at least if you don't want to risk anything. You can more easily just ask her to spend time with you and eventually just get more intimate. (cuddling, holding hands, etc.) Just remember, the friend zone DOES NOT EXIST!!!! I have seen it way to much and it's happened to me, the only way you are friend zoned is if you are just "nice" to her and not really a true friend. And being good friends makes for a better couple down the road.

justindw199
November 1st, 2015, 12:37 PM
There's no point in asking her straight up to date you, or at least if you don't want to risk anything. You can more easily just ask her to spend time with you and eventually just get more intimate. (cuddling, holding hands, etc.) Just remember, the friend zone DOES NOT EXIST!!!! I have seen it way to much and it's happened to me, the only way you are friend zoned is if you are just "nice" to her and not really a true friend. And being good friends makes for a better couple down the road.

Thanks man, I'll give it a try.