Do I tell him? (Coming out)

[Jack-Han]

I'm pretty sure that i've been gay for about 3 years now and I think i'm ready to come out to my first person.

I actually plan on telling a gay guy who's a similar age to me, he lives near me too. He's openly gay and we both have mutual friends. I wouldn't call him a 'close friend', but he's certainly someone I can smile too or have a conversation with on the streets.

However, ever since he's moved near me i've sorta had a crush on him for quite a few months now and I think I should be telling him i'm gay... just to see what his reaction is like and to gain the confidence and acceptance from someone irl. I don't want everyone to know just yet so I plan on telling him only... discreetly.

I want to tell him face to face. Do I text him saying like "Can I talk to you?" or "can I see you tonight?". But whenever I run that in my head, I can picture him feeling uncomfortable when I text him this, which is why I think it will be really awkward...

Maybe it's just that i'm paranoid of what he thinks of me or just have really bad trust issues (probs both of them fml). there is no way I can come out through text. This must be done face to face.

Hopefully I can pluck up the courage to have him outside on a night and perhaps sat on a bench somewhere, but i'm finding this difficult to do.

Anyways, sorry for waffling on but any help and advice would really help me out here :)

[Abhorrence]

It sounds like a good idea, even if you aren't that close. If you feel like you should tell someone then telling a fellow gay guy would probably be a good bet. Don't tell him and immediately expect a relationship or anything though, I'm sure you don't but I'm just saying. I know it's awkward to text someone stuff like that but it should be fine if you just ask to talk and meet up.

[Legoboy]

You know, it would be good to have a gay friend even if he isn't interested in you. So if you go looking for advice / closer friendship first then you leave it open for more. So just like start out by asking him how to come out or how did he figure out he was gay. Something that gives a really big hint that you are if that is easier than just saying it.

[Bull]

Tell him you need his help on a personal matter and that you would like to have a conversation with him. In that face to face conversation you can express your preference for other guys and ask for his advice on going forward. Good luck, hope you can build a friendship, if not a relationship. Friendship is good and will provide opportunity to share thoughts in a comfortable setting.

[Interstellar]

I'd say go for it. It'll be such a relief to be able to actually talk about thing with someone rather than just have your head crowded with thoughts you can't say out loud. As for how to do it, I personally wouldn't make a big deal out of it - just casually bring it up in conversation if possible.
Once you tell him he'd probably be able to help you come out to some other people too, when you're ready of course

[Jack-Han]

Thank you for your messages! Well it is halloween tomorrow and I think he will be out with some of my friends, so I think I might ask him to speak about it then when i'm outside with them :)

[SethfromMI]

It sounds like a good idea, even if you aren't that close. If you feel like you should tell someone then telling a fellow gay guy would probably be a good bet. Don't tell him and immediately expect a relationship or anything though, I'm sure you don't but I'm just saying. I know it's awkward to text someone stuff like that but it should be fine if you just ask to talk and meet up.

well spoken advice Jack!

[Zachary G]

I would send him a text telling him that you have a problem and really need someone to talk to and could he meet up with you so you can talk. That way its not a lie and you wont have to worry about what he might be thinking its all about. This way, if you do meet up and change your mind, you can always talk about something else.

[Zakky Boy]

how'd it go mate? if you haven't told him yet - all the best! don't be scared or worried, he'd know exactly what you're going through. (:

[Jack-Han]

Sorry I havent been on this, but I managed to tell him on snapchat. I went through all of it with him on the phone because I asked to meet him in person so I can speak with him face to face about it, but we both agreed it was gonna be too awkward lol.

I would've liked to have done it in person because its more authentic (not even sure if thats the right word to say idk) and i feel like I would have got that 'weight lifted off my shoulders' feeling.

However, I told him literally like everything on the phone and says he has a lot more respect for me. I guess you could say I was a bit disappointed in his reply which seemed pretty mediocre. Im still friends with him and I aren't really afraid to speak about things with him on snapchat more openly. I trust him to keep my secret safe :P

[SethfromMI]

Sorry I havent been on this, but I managed to tell him on snapchat. I went through all of it with him on the phone because I asked to meet him in person so I can speak with him face to face about it, but we both agreed it was gonna be too awkward lol.

I would've liked to have done it in person because its more authentic (not even sure if thats the right word to say idk) and i feel like I would have got that 'weight lifted off my shoulders' feeling.

However, I told him literally like everything on the phone and says he has a lot more respect for me. I guess you could say I was a bit disappointed in his reply which seemed pretty mediocre. Im still friends with him and I aren't really afraid to speak about things with him on snapchat more openly. I trust him to keep my secret safe :P

well bummer it did not seem to really go anywhere, but it does not sound like he is going to cause you any trouble either

[Bluebyrd]

Maybe consider coming out to some other people now that you've got the confidence from one person and even if it does go wrong you have someone to talk to now :)