I'm in a rough spot right now...

[AlyssaSmith]

Alright, so I'm brand new here so... Hi all!

Anyways, I just turned 17, and (being the hormonal wreck that most teenagers are), I tend to masturbate here and there. Problem is, my little sister (who is something like 12 years and 3 months) has heard me masturbate multiple times. And this leads me to my question: What do you guys think of explaining masturbation to her? And if needed, with some, shall we say, "physical" backup by showing it on myself?

I don't want her transition to puberty to be as rough as mine was (I didn't know what a penis was actually called until her age, and both of us have been going through puberty since 4th grade), so... What do I do? Should I tell her, sister to sister, what masturbation means? I mean, she knows that I'm doing something when she can hear my hoo-hah squelch through the bathroom door, and she knows damn well that it isn't me using the toilet or washing up. :/

EDIT: And just to be clear, we have seen each other naked quite a few times (we took baths together when I was like 7 through 9).

[Taryn98]

It's not your job to explain anything to her. If she asks you a question, you can answer, but you shouldn't go out of your way to bring it up. Honestly, if she has questions, she should ask a parent.
This is why they teach sex ed in schools and your parents should give her the talk. At age 12, your mom should have already explained to her about periods and what all that means.

[AlyssaSmith]

It's not your job to explain anything to her. If she asks you a question, you can answer, but you shouldn't go out of your way to bring it up. Honestly, if she has questions, she should ask a parent.
This is why they teach sex ed in schools and your parents should give her the talk. At age 12, your mom should have already explained to her about periods and what all that means.Unfortunately in my house, we more or less have to figure things out ourselves. :(

Fun fact: My best friend told me what a guys privates were actually called, along with my girly bits.

[BlackParadePixie]

It's not your job to explain anything to her. If she asks you a question, you can answer, but you shouldn't go out of your way to bring it up. Honestly, if she has questions, she should ask a parent.
This is why they teach sex ed in schools and your parents should give her the talk. At age 12, your mom should have already explained to her about periods and what all that means.
The problem is these days most parents are too AFRAID to talk to their kids about these things, or they just tell them that sex and masturbation is a dirty thing and that's it...and most sex ed taught in schools is a joke.

If your sister asks you about it...you can explain to her what it is you were doing...but I wouldn't SHOW her...that's kinda over the line.

[Hannah98]

I agree with Taryn. Be available to her if she asks but don't go out of your way to bring it up. She definitely will when she feels curious enough and she thinks the time is right.

[kentucky girl]

I agree not to just tell her but if she ask tell her and show her if she is interested

[sweettayla]

Sounds like you may have to tell her yourself.

[SweetieGirl]

Well I think it depends on you and your sister. If you think she's very open and curious and could accept it well, then you better tell her, but if she might be confused and upset, then you should wait.

[Uniquemind]

I think a compromise of all the advice given thus far is the best idea.

Showing, I think might be over the line.

But pulling her aside and having a deep serious and secret sister to sister talk, starting with you telling her that when you were her age your parents being uptight made it hard and is hard even now growing up.

Tell her that if she has any questions regarding sex, pregnancy, birth control, condoms, relationships, attraction (to boys or girls or fetishes even) curiosity or fear about her developing body, that you will have an open door policy with no shame between the two of you to discuss such things.

Leave the ball in her court for her to approach you.

If you don't know the answer to a question she asks, I'm sure you can find out the answer together, and of course you will have this community to help you find answers too.

Same goes for her once she is old enough for an account here, I'm sure the mods will agree.

[shamrockgirl02]

It's perfectly fine to want to teach/help your younger sister. Like others have said, the wise move would be for you to open the topic for discussion by vaguely telling her that she can come to you if she has any questions about her body, getting older, puberty, etc. That way she won't have to worry that it's weird if she has any of those types of questions. I would also recommend assuring her that whatever you two talk about is strictly between the two of you; she might be too embarrassed to ask a parent and afraid that you might tell a parent what you discussed

[cheergurl]

I'm extremely glad my sister showed me. I get people saying it's too far, it's definitely not something for most households, but my sis and I are very close, always have been, and she knew I was starting to get frustrated and always in the mood and not sure what to do about it. I don't want to think about how long it would've been that way if she hadn't shown me. So I'll be the only vote for show if you're comfortable with it and if you're that close. If you're not sure, just talk to her, tell her how to do it and she should be able to figure it out :) Good luck!

[lileva]

It's perfectly fine to want to teach/help your younger sister. Like others have said, the wise move would be for you to open the topic for discussion by vaguely telling her that she can come to you if she has any questions about her body, getting older, puberty, etc. That way she won't have to worry that it's weird if she has any of those types of questions. I would also recommend assuring her that whatever you two talk about is strictly between the two of you; she might be too embarrassed to ask a parent and afraid that you might tell a parent what you discussed

I teach my lil sister the safe way

[LITTLEANGEL19]

I'm extremely glad my sister showed me. I get people saying it's too far, it's definitely not something for most households, but my sis and I are very close, always have been, and she knew I was starting to get frustrated and always in the mood and not sure what to do about it. I don't want to think about how long it would've been that way if she hadn't shown me. So I'll be the only vote for show if you're comfortable with it and if you're that close. If you're not sure, just talk to her, tell her how to do it and she should be able to figure it out :) Good luck!

I agree Heather X

[angelina]

Even if you do not tell her or demonstrate...she will know it from her friends
Better you tell her / show her about it and explain that it is a natural urge and normal .

[Beach_Blonde]

I think you should definitely talk to her. I know what it's like living in a family like your and my sister was my savior. I would go to her and open up the door and tell her is se ever needs to all your here. And Inwoul brin up masturbation. My sister did with me I showed me that one I could talk to her about anything and two she got one o the harder conversation out in the open.
Odds are your lil sis is already masturbating and has taken some bad advice from her friends. My sister made the same offer you want to. She gave me amazing tips and left the door open for me to get more help.
She was willing to show me (which I might have her do now) but only if I was okay with it. She totally left it up to me. I think you should do the same. But definitely talk to her and definitely tell her about masturbation. It really was a liffe saver for me

[Vanilla Cupcake]

I think you should just let her ask you if she wants too. I'm pretty sure she won't be asking your mom because it's too embarrassing.
I'm going to take a wild guess though and assume she already does it. Most girls explore down there and they know that it feels good, especially at 12.
If she hears you, I bet she knows what your doing and she's just listening because she can lol.
If she has access to the internet I bet she has already googled it.

[Maria16 Here]

I think you should definitely talk to her. I know what it's like living in a family like your and my sister was my savior. I would go to her and open up the door and tell her is se ever needs to all your here. And Inwoul brin up masturbation. My sister did with me I showed me that one I could talk to her about anything and two she got one o the harder conversation out in the open.
Odds are your lil sis is already masturbating and has taken some bad advice from her friends. My sister made the same offer you want to. She gave me amazing tips and left the door open for me to get more help.
She was willing to show me (which I might have her do now) but only if I was okay with it. She totally left it up to me. I think you should do the same. But definitely talk to her and definitely tell her about masturbation. It really was a liffe saver for me

I agree, my sister was very helpful to me about it. Me and my mom are close but with my sister we could be more open about it. She answered all my questions in a more friendly, less analytical way.

[sabbi]

Short answer is that between sex ed and girlfriends she should soon know what it's all about and how to do it. The fun is in the discovery when you get that first orgasm be it accidentally or deliberately. Accidentally in my case.:)

[JennyBean]

Go ahead I am very grateful my sisters showed me. My mum is super absent and my sisters basically raised me. One is married and she tells me all the stuff to look forward to. It's good to be close with your siblings they're the ones that truly get what the situations at home are like.

[City Kid]

Please do not post in threads that have been inactive for two months or longer.

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