Need to say this somewhere

[Fiction]

Well last night was fucking awful.

First of all I was with a close friend of mine when he had bad news from his girlfriend. He said he wanted to be alone and left, and I let him. Stupid thing to do. He has a history of hurting himself like a lot of us do.

About an hour later I get a message saying "Thanks for everything" and "bye". Transpires he's taken an overdose so I call an ambulance.

So me being me I decide to get very very drunk, end up talking to this guy whose a friend of a friend. Obviously I was drunk and so i'd told him what was going on, well I mean he saw me burst out crying when I was told my friend had taken an overdose.

Part way through this conversation the guy starts kissing me fairly forcefully and I tell him i'm not interested basically. Then he starts telling me i'm fucked up and he likes fucked up people because they're selfish. He tries to get me to go home with him, so I deflect to another pub, near mine. That pub closes and I say to him i'm going home, but he's very insistent and keeps just kissing me. Violently though, not nicely. Extremely violently. By this point I can barely walk and next thing I know we're heading to his. My friend starts ringing me and i'm like oh I have to go but he's even more insistent. This carried on for 3 hours, before my friend insists on talking to the guy on the phone. Fuck knows what happened next but he hands the phone back to me, shouts at me in the face telling me i'm stupid he was just trying to get me home safe (then why couldn't I go back to mine when I was so close?!).

Then that was me, alone in the middle of London with no idea where I was. Then I realise i'm by my friends and try knocking on their door. I's about 1am now so there's no answer. Then my phone runs out of charge.

Fuck knows how I got home safe but I did, thank god.

One of those nights I suppose.

[Desuetude]

Kathy, that sounded so horrific, I was so glad to hear that he didn't get you to his house and that you had enough sense in your intoxicated state to keep resisting. I hope you stay away from him now and also tell your mutual friend what happened so they're aware of the kind of person he is. That 'getting you home safely' line was bullshit and quite obviously he was attempting to take advantage of you being so vulnerable at the time which is absolutely disgusting.

I hope you find out that your friend is okay. It's the worst to imagine that you could have done something but just know that ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. This was his choice and his alone. There are so many things to factor into this and so many variables that could have changed the outcome. Anything miniscule could have distracted him or caused him to try something else so you doing what he asked and leaving him to his own thoughts was not the cause of his OD.

I've been in an extremely similar situation where I actually gave pills to my friend when they asked for some pain killers and this added to their pile of pills. It's scary as hell, I get that. You could have done nothing to prevent it though, especially iIf he had made up his mind and was dealing with all those overwhelming emotions all at once.

I'm glad you got home safely, somehow. What matters is that you're back. I really am sorry for your absolutely crappy night but I'm thankful that it wasn't any worse.

[Fiction]

Thanks for your reply Nikk, yeah i'm so lucky I got away, it could so easily have been so different. Even once I got away I was by myself totally drunk in the middle of the night so yeah, no idea how it happened but i'm home and safe.

I know it wasn't my fault. I did everything I could, he's in hospital now. But I had to do everything I could.

[Hudor]

That sounds horrible. It's great that you did what all you could for your friend and that he's still alive. At least you won't be plagued by guilt anywho.
I'm happy you were able to resist the other guy even when you were drunk. He was clearly trying to take advantage of you and at such a time. That was very sick. It's chilling to think what all could have happened since you were alone late at night. I'm glad you got hone safely.