Be Careful When Confessing Your Love to Someone

[ChaosEarthquake]

Yes, I do understand how controversial this topic is, however....

Today, I decided to confess to my big crush that I loved him. I felt an attraction towards him that I had never felt, and all my life I was straight. However, the minute I laid eyes on him, something inside me sparked and I knew I loved him.

So anyways, I went to his car after school, and confessed... big mistake.

He stared at me, called me a freak, punched me in the jaw, and created a huge scene. He said to "f**k off" and to never speak to him again.

Yes, I did feel better for getting it off of my chest, but the rejection and raw agony I am currently feeling was not worth it.

Unless you KNOW they are 100% Gay/Bisexual (I thought he was Gay, but I was wrong), then DO NOT confess to them. Of course, there is always a chance that they might like you back, but is it really worth it? If you do not know 100% if they are Gay/Bisexual, you may end up rejected and upset.

[Sailor Mars]

Well... If you're not friends with the guy and haven't really spoken to him (or never have) and you go up to him saying you love him how do you expect him to react?

[ChaosEarthquake]

Well... If you're not friends with the guy and haven't really spoken to him (or never have) and you go up to him saying you love him how do you expect him to react?

He and I were actually good friends...

[Sailor Mars]

He and I were actually good friends...
Should've said that then lol I thought you guys just knew each other and you just went up and said ey bro i luv u or something.
And if you guys were friends couldn't you have just asked him if he was gay/bi before confessing?

[Elysium]

I think it really depends on the person. I am a girl and I confessed to having a crush on a girl who I knew was straight over a year ago. And she said as much in response (as well as expressing how flattered she was and how sorry). But she is also one of the sweetest, gentlest people I know and we're still friendly today if not friends altogether. I think it has less to do with the sexuality of the person than their attitude and personality. I would never have confessed if I thought I'd receive a negative reaction from her.

[ChaosEarthquake]

Should've said that then lol I thought you guys just knew each other and you just went up and said ey bro i luv u or something.
And if you guys were friends couldn't you have just asked him if he was gay/bi before confessing?

I absolutely thought that he was Gay, because of everything he did. It was a big mistake on my part....

I think it really depends on the person. I am a girl and I confessed to having a crush on a girl who I knew was straight over a year ago. And she said as much in response (as well as expressing how flattered she was and how sorry). But she is also one of the sweetest, gentlest people I know and we're still friendly today if not friends altogether. I think it has less to do with the sexuality of the person than their attitude and personality. I would never have confessed if I thought I'd receive a negative reaction from her.

I completely agree with you.
I did not think that I would receive a negative reaction from him, and I thought he would feel the same, for the actions he displayed towards me seemed as though he felt the same I had.

Posts merged. Next time, please use the "Edit" or "Multi" button. ~Elysium

[Elysium]

I completely agree with you.
I did not think that I would receive a negative reaction from him, and I thought he would feel the same, for the actions he displayed towards me seemed as though he felt the same I had.
I can understand and I can only imagine how much that must've stung. I'm really sorry that you had to experience this. But, hey, you're getting through it now and if this is the worst rejection you ever get, you have some good things to look forward to in the future. Does that make sense?

[ChaosEarthquake]

I can understand and I can only imagine how much that must've stung. I'm really sorry that you had to experience this. But, hey, you're getting through it now and if this is the worst rejection you ever get, you have some good things to look forward to in the future. Does that make sense?

Actually, as soon as I got home, I cried for at least three hours, and I did many things that I am currently not proud of (cutting a lot).
I'm taking baby steps with getting over this, and I truly do respect his opinion, but I really do wish he felt the same about me.:(

[Kuroshiro]

I am probably out of line saying this since you have feelings for him, however it is something that should go without saying:

Anyone who physically assaults someone for confessing love is not mature enough to comprehend the most infinitesimal amount of compassion therefore is nowhere near enough to deserving that same love :judge:

That guy was completely out of line for hitting you and it makes me angry :mad:to think that there are idiots out there that can't every conjour up the tiniest bit of sympathy.

Anyway, I hope I was some help and that you are able to get over it. ^_^

[pjones]

sorry to hear it happened that way. hope you're doing OK

[ObliviousCat]

Good friends? He wasn't a true friend, just an immature prick with possible anger issues. Is he homophobic?
If I were you, I'd be happy to find out how much of an asshole he is sooner than later. Like you said, you got it off your chest, and now you won't have to worry about what ifs and it'll (probably) be easier for you to move on.

[Slashman1]

ok i feel really bad about getting i guess turned down like that and i don't wanna sound like a jerk saying this but with a reaction like that from him i think maybe this is just a guess but he might be bi or gay he might just really not wanna accept it or comes from a family that won't and he freaked out big time to thinking that they might figure it out and i know you really liked him but you shouldn't let one guy get you down so much to the point of cutting and here is a idea if he will even not run away from you go up and say sorry even if to show that your stronger then him and walk away

[Hudor]

I'm sorry for you, that must have felt bad but I think you should have first checked whether he was okay with homosexuality plus whether he was possibly straight. A lot of straight guys I know can get pretty shocked by their buddies telling they have a crush on him. I don't think his reaction was justified but unfortunately that's the reaction a lot of people give still.
In my case, one of my friends took it well enough and we're still good friends but another guy I told completely weirded out and distanced himself fast. So yeah as another user said it depends largely on the person and it's prudent to check how he might react first.

[Jinglebottom]

Oh sheesh talk about uncalled for. Why would he punch you? I'm sorry.

[Noody]

I agree with the purpose of this thread - Not the premise it's based upon however. First of all, I'm really sorry to hear the experience you've gone through - I can only imagine how damaging and painful it must have been, both physically and mentally.

HOWEVER, Telling people to "NOT confess to them... Unless you KNOW they are 100% LGBT" based on one bad experience you encountered is hardly productive or helpful. I've told a few guys I really fancied that I did indeed think that they were fit/cute or whatnot - Some reacted more negatively than others and some reacted really positively and apologized profusely that they were straight. It's so dependent on your situation that I think it's just wrong to sell someone not to confess unless they KNOW they are LGBT.

I absolutely thought that he was Gay, because of everything he did. It was a big mistake on my part....


I know this guy called Jack, back when we were 14-16 he used to wink at me and I used to wink back wnever we saw each other. It wasn't a seductive wink, it was more a wink and then laugh it off - To me though, it gave some vibes that he may be into me.

A couple of months back when I was drunk as anything, I decided to tell him my feelings toward him in the hope that he would feel the same way. I sent him a huge message on FaceBook and got no reply. When I saw him a week after when I'd sobered up I asked him if he had seen my messages and that I was drunk but I still meant it.
He simply told me he had read them and it was fine and said "Good luck in your exam".
To this day we still talk, he's got a girlfriend and we've never mentioned it to each other since - I have no idea what he thinks of me, but it definitely wasn't portrayed to me negatively.
I'm going on a school trip with him next summer on a volunteer trip (around 20 of us). Hopefully I'm going to end up in a foreign country's bar with him, pissed, and ask him what he thinks of me. Until then it's a myself.

The point being that whether to confess to someone is completely dependent on situation - I think it's wrong to categories all situations as a "Don't do it because I had a bad experience" sort of thing.

Just my two cents <3

[ChaosEarthquake]

Thank you all for your kindness :)