Loneliness and social anxiety.

[Jackr117]

Hello everyone!

This is my first post on this website, I found this website as I was searching what I'm about to talk about now. I'm a normal 17 year old, however I suffer from social anxiety, I take medicine for it which helps but it's still present. Ever since the age of 14 1/2 or so I've not been out and socialised with friends, sure when I was at school I interacted with them but whenever they would plan an event... I wouldn't be invited, this only worsened my social anxiety. I stay in my room and play my Xbox and watch YouTube videos etc.. I get out with my family but never with friends... I never even talk to them and I've been out of school for over a year. It's now gotten to the point of me going on omegle and trying to socialise with girls to try and get a girlfriend, Im talking to some girls now, but they don't seem interested at all... It only worsens my social anxiety as I fear they find me ugly and just talk to me just to be 'nice'. I'm not depressed but I'm down at times, just sad with this problem and also the fact that I'm type 1 diabetic, this'll sometimes cause me to get frustrated. Anyways I just hope to hear from some people my age, or who have gone through it themselves.

Thanks!

[Wilde]

What I've found is that the best thing to do is to stop searching for friendship - I've met a lot of my closest friends by sheer coincidence. Just get yourself out there with the intent to enjoy yourself, you'll eventually meet people. Honestly, you'll always find what you thought you were looking for as soon as you stop specifically searching for something.

Social anxiety is a hard one to crack. The problem is those who appear most confident are often very insecure. I don't have any anxiety about talking to people because experience has taught me that I'm often one of the cleverest people in the room so I tend to get on well with those who are the main people (like the pinnacle of a group or gathering). The worst thing that can happen when you have social anxiety is when someone tries to belittle you when you're having a good time. Be confident in yourself, as soon as someone says shit to me when I'm having a good time - I slap them on the face with witty insults. The thing is, confidence comes from experience. The best way to get confidence is to listen to the song "Ask" by The Smiths and then read about existential meaning. So basically, hype yourself up on that song and then say to yourself "one day I'll regret not doing this" or "we'll all be dead and nothing we ever did mattered in the end". "just fucking do it" - Nike.

I kinda grew up in the skatepark scene so that is a good way, atleast it was for me, to get out, stay active, and meet new people and enjoy my time with the ones I already knew. Other places: social gatherings that relate to your interests.

Don't be afraid to do shit. I often realize that when I fuck up, no-one will ever remember me in like 1 week after it and those who do will be the people that care and won't judge me for it.

[plushdreams0608]

On the social anxiety side of things, I can relate to what you're saying because my situation is much and such the same. I usually prefer to go out with my family mostly because I just feel much more comfortable with them rather than friends. Any situation outside of my education environment with friends is frightening to me. I would say to keep persevering with your medication and trying to let that help you as best as you can.
Talking on omegle isn't necessarily a bad thing but I would just say to be careful of who you're talking to/sharing information with because that's important. I personally haven't done anything like that because the idea of it scares me. So I can't really shed much light on that side of things. Apologies.
Best of luck :)

[Jackr117]

Thanks for the replies guy! Just needed to hear from other people and get it off my chest, thanks again!:D