How would you handle this?

[StoppingTom]

So for the first time in a few months, I've started to have an interest with a girl, which is kind of cool but weird at the same time. For the last few days, we've talked in class and over snapchat for the entire day, and by her own admission, I've made her cry laughing. In fact, before I knew her, a mutual friend said we were basically the same person. Now, I'm not asking "hurr how do i ask out gril" because frankly I am 17 years old and I don't need my hand held, but my problem is; I don't know if she has a boyfriend or not, and I feel like if I were to ask her out when she had a boyfriend would be both overstepping, and awkward for the both of us.

tl;dr don't know if gril has bf or not, how would you handle this particular conundrum

[CreativeUsername]

You should ask some of her friends about it. Chances are they'll know if she has a boyfriend.

[West Coast Sheriff]

I usually check out someone's Instagram page to find out if they are in a relationship. I would just say "hey let's hangout sometime"

[SethfromMI]

well you can ask someone, but honestly, it is easy enough to find a way to bring it up in casual conversation. just try to steer the convo that ways. you could always just ask her if she wants to go out sometime and see what she says that way

[hesaidhesaid]

Ask her? Just confirm that you're not being too flirtatious with her. Always be on the safe side with these kinds of matters.

I find it interesting the way you view this though... "I don't need my hand held"... that's an interesting thought.

[StoppingTom]

I find it interesting the way you view this though... "I don't need my hand held"... that's an interesting thought.

Asking someone out isn't a particular weakness of mine, and I didn't want to come off as if that was the issue. Personally, I haven't been in a situation like this before, so I was curious to see how other people have/would havegone about this.

[Melodic]

Social Media is a good way to find out these things. However, some people don't post everything on social media. So I'd suggest asking her, or if you're not comfortable you could ask someone close to her that you know you can trust to keep it calm.

[StoppingTom]

Social Media is a good way to find out these things. However, some people don't post everything on social media. So I'd suggest asking her, or if you're not comfortable you could ask someone close to her that you know you can trust to keep it calm.

Updooting to say this was how I found out she does in fact have a boyfriend, but it doesn't seem particularly serious. I'm not super surprised, and I mean there are other girls too.

Thanks for al the helpful responses :D

[SillyShyGuy]

"It's a trap." - Admiral Ackbar

Honestly you should trust your gut and do what you feel is right. Girls are very complex creatures. But I think it is a trap.

[Uniquemind]

Updooting to say this was how I found out she does in fact have a boyfriend, but it doesn't seem particularly serious. I'm not super surprised, and I mean there are other girls too.

Thanks for all the helpful responses :D

Okay I'm gonna flip the moral code on this entire thread.

Just because someone has a BF or GF, does not mean you should stop pursuing them.

It's a fact of life that people break up, because they "met someone else".

The key to pursuing someone with a partner already, is to do so respectfully, and show them that you're interested in them, but that you'll back off if you receive a "no" answer.

Pop these kinds of questions when you're face to face and in private though, this isn't something to be done over text.



Understand some people will get offended, but you should never feel personal guilt for chasing what you want out of life. Just don't be pushy and clingy, and make this all a contest.

Objectively dating is meant for people to "shop around" til they find something they can commit to seriously.

It's perfectly okay to ask if the person they're with is "serious" with ____, because if it isn't you'd like to try for something serious with them.

[StoppingTom]

Okay I'm gonna flip the moral code on this entire thread.

Just because someone has a BF or GF, does not mean you should stop pursuing them.

It's a fact of life that people break up, because they "met someone else".

The key to pursuing someone with a partner already, is to do so respectfully, and show them that you're interested in them, but that you'll back off if you receive a "no" answer.

Pop these kinds of questions when you're face to face and in private though, this isn't something to be done over text.



Understand some people will get offended, but you should never feel personal guilt for chasing what you want out of life. Just don't be pushy and clingy, and make this all a contest.

Objectively dating is meant for people to "shop around" til they find something they can commit to seriously.

It's perfectly okay to ask if the person they're with is "serious" with ____, because if it isn't you'd like to try for something serious with them.

Oh no, I totally agree with you. It's not like they're married or anything. I'm just going to keep my options open, like you said, shop around.

[Uniquemind]

Oh no, I totally agree with you. It's not like they're married or anything. I'm just going to keep my options open, like you said, shop around.

That's good too. How you're handling this really is a good model example of navigating the social maze of dating and emotions that come with.

[pjones]

be honest. tell her you'd love to ask her out but if she's already seeing someone you understand and want to remain friends. if she is seeing someone, maybe suggest all three of you get together sometime

[AutumnWinds]

i'd just ask her out, or maybe ask her if she is seeing anyone then ask her out. i don't think it would be as awkward as you think. if she's seeing someone, you just say he's a lucky guy and move on to the next topic.

So for the first time in a few months, I've started to have an interest with a girl, which is kind of cool but weird at the same time. For the last few days, we've talked in class and over snapchat for the entire day, and by her own admission, I've made her cry laughing. In fact, before I knew her, a mutual friend said we were basically the same person. Now, I'm not asking "hurr how do i ask out gril" because frankly I am 17 years old and I don't need my hand held, but my problem is; I don't know if she has a boyfriend or not, and I feel like if I were to ask her out when she had a boyfriend would be both overstepping, and awkward for the both of us.

tl;dr don't know if gril has bf or not, how would you handle this particular conundrum