Is homosexuality really not a choice?

[Its Pretty]

Is it really not a choice? Is there legitimate scientific evidence or are people just believing what they want? I've always thought that sexuality was decided and not a product of genes or environment.

[Abyssal Echo]

Nope its not a choice. believe me if I had a choice I would not have chose to be gay :/
I don't have any scientific evidence all I can say is I am who and what I am.

[JamesSuperBoy]

It is what it is dude - maybe different for everybody - it is called opinion and could be wrong

[ValentinClarke]

Is it really not a choice? Is there legitimate scientific evidence or are people just believing what they want? I've always thought that sexuality was decided and not a product of genes or environment.

Sexuality is programmed into the brain. I'm bi! I'm made like that. There may be few factors that increase the gay way. There was a study where a gay man had his brain stimulated with electric and he had sex with a female hooker!

[ksdnfkfr]

To me someone saying i chose to be gay is as ludicrous them saying i chose to be autistic.

[The Trendy Wolf]

Is it really not a choice? Is there legitimate scientific evidence or are people just believing what they want? I've always thought that sexuality was decided and not a product of genes or environment.

Homosexuals don't choose to be gay, just like heterosexuals don't choose to be attracted to the opposite sex. Nobody gets to choose what they're attracted to, and it is something that we are born with. We aren't the only species with homosexual organisms, and this proves that it could not be a choice, as the animal couldn't ever choose something like that, nor would it have a reason to in the first place.

[AlexOnToast]

Is it really not a choice? Is there legitimate scientific evidence or are people just believing what they want? I've always thought that sexuality was decided and not a product of genes or environment.

And what the hell sort of evidence do you have to support that? That's just ridiculous. Yes there is LEGITIMATE scientific research. It's bot arrogant and offensive to say it's "just a choice" and the people who say that really have no Idea what there are talking about.

[ECSTASY]

i'm still looking for a way to change my sexuality , but really, it's not possible .

[Tarannosaurus]

It's really, really not a choice. Why does no one ever ask whether being straight is a choice? Why do people look for 'legitimate' scientific evidence that it's not a choice, when there's no evidence that it is a choice either?

[Its Pretty]

It's really, really not a choice. Why does no one ever ask whether being straight is a choice? Why do people look for 'legitimate' scientific evidence that it's not a choice, when there's no evidence that it is a choice either?

Well, being homosexual is seen differently usually for the reason that guy+girl=kid, while anything else doesnt seem to make much sence. I think this is the main reason against homosexual marriage.

[sqishy]

Not a choice, unfortunately

[StoppingTime]

Well, being homosexual is seen differently usually for the reason that guy+girl=kid, while anything else doesnt seem to make much sence. I think this is the main reason against homosexual marriage.

So do heterosexual couples who choose not to have kids make senses do older couples who are no longer able to have kids make sense? See the flaw with that?

And no, there's no choice involved. Whether it's at all influenced by environment and whatnot is still debated as far as I know, but either way, there's no conscious decision involved.

[Zachary G]

Homosexuals don't choose to be gay, just like heterosexuals don't choose to be attracted to girls. Nobody gets to choose what they're attracted to, and it is something that we are born with. We aren't the only species with homosexual organisms, and this proves that it could not be a choice, as the animal couldn't ever choose something like that, nor would it have a reason to in the first place.

I agree with your statement 200%:yes:

[Elysium]

Of course it's not. Heterosexuality isn't a choice, is it? Actually being in a same sex relationship, however, is definitely a choice - being attracted to the same sex is not.

[Akasuki]

when you're gay, you are gay no matter what. the only thing that's a choice is if you decide to act upon your sexual feelings towards the same sex. I've seen gay men live a straight lifestyle by marrying a woman, having kids, etc and still be happy. so anything is possible.

[baseballjock]

i think it is because they make it an option

[Rdsxbaseballfan]

i think it is because they make it an option
what do you mean by, "they make it an option"

[jeremy96]

I know some gay kids and people and I am pretty sure it is not a choice and some of my moms friends are and I don't doubt there making up that their that way.

[Hallie]

Whether it's a product of genes or not is irrelevant. There have been studies that show that it is likely hereditary, but let's not get into that because I'm not an expert on that myself and I don't know all the details.
What I can say and know for a fact is that you CANNOT control your sexuality. Haven't you ever been attracted to someone that you wish you weren't attracted to? And there have probably been times where you weren't attracted to someone when you wish you were--say they were really nice, but the spark just wasn't there. That's because you can't choose who you like. It just happens. Sure, you can control your actions--you're not just going to randomly end up dating someone without making that choice--but you can't directly control who you're attracted to, and that's something that everyone comes to learn through personal experience.

[rogoshtalmour]

Homosexuals don't choose to be gay, just like heterosexuals don't choose to be attracted to the opposite sex. Nobody gets to choose what they're attracted to, and it is something that we are born with. We aren't the only species with homosexual organisms, and this proves that it could not be a choice, as the animal couldn't ever choose something like that, nor would it have a reason to in the first place.

I've always found this a strange argument to make. Are we just like animals or are we supposed to be more intelligent and not just rut like any other animal out there? I mean animals also hump peoples legs.....would you not think it strange if a human just went around humping peoples legs and told you "well hey this is just who I am and I can't help it?"

Also why do people think its not a choice when you are attracted to same sex or opposite sex or both sexes but everyone thinks it is a choice when you're attracted to a certain age group of people. If you are born a certain way and really do have no control over who or what you're attracted to than should we allow 30 year olds to have sex with 10 year olds and say nothing about it?

[The Trendy Wolf]

I've always found this a strange argument to make. Are we just like animals or are we supposed to be more intelligent and not just rut like any other animal out there? I mean animals also hump peoples legs.....would you not think it strange if a human just went around humping peoples legs and told you "well hey this is just who I am and I can't help it?
"

Well, all life share the same roots of a consciousness, and among the unconscious exist emotions and instincts that are programmed into us at birth. Our sexuality is our particular love emotion, but humping a leg is something that pleases the dog, and it isn't an instinct, so the dog would have some sort of way to control himself from doing that.

[Tenoka]

And what the hell sort of evidence do you have to support that? That's just ridiculous. Yes there is LEGITIMATE scientific research. It's bot arrogant and offensive to say it's "just a choice" and the people who say that really have no Idea what there are talking about.

This. When you were young do you remember thinking to yourself "Well shit, I think I'll choose to be straight for my entire life."?
You're born with it, it's not a choice. If it was a lot of gay people would consider themselves straight and still be alive.

[rogoshtalmour]

Whether it's a product of genes or not is irrelevant. There have been studies that show that it is likely hereditary, but let's not get into that because I'm not an expert on that myself and I don't know all the details.
What I can say and know for a fact is that you CANNOT control your sexuality. Haven't you ever been attracted to someone that you wish you weren't attracted to? And there have probably been times where you weren't attracted to someone when you wish you were--say they were really nice, but the spark just wasn't there. That's because you can't choose who you like. It just happens. Sure, you can control your actions--you're not just going to randomly end up dating someone without making that choice--but you can't directly control who you're attracted to, and that's something that everyone comes to learn through personal experience.

We also know that you can become addicted to certain experiences. In fact you can become addicted to practically anyway. So if the scenario is you can't help who you're attracted to and you start to act on that attraction over and over then you have locked it in so that it becomes the only thing that will ever attract you. You can also be attracted to the idea of drugs or killing people or killing yourself doesn't mean you should do it of course. And it is up to everyone to decide for themselves what you will and will not act on. But just because you have certain feelings about things doesn't mean they are outside of your control. You can control your feelings specifically by controlling your actions. Did you know you can CONVINCE yourself to love a person. If you tell yourself everyday that you hate a person then guess what you will grow to hate them and if you tell yourself everyday you love a person then guess what happens????????? The mind is A VERY POWERFUL THING and I wish people would stop acting like its powerless in the face of our genetics or even our early environment or what have you. People just want to make excuses for whatever behavior they deem appropriate for themselves no matter what that behavior is and this relates to far more than just sexuality.

This. When you were young do you remember thinking to yourself "Well shit, I think I'll choose to be straight for my entire life."?
You're born with it, it's not a choice. If it was a lot of gay people would consider themselves straight and still be alive.

Fairly good argument to make. Question for you....why do so many gay and bi people tell stories about how they were confused about their sexuality? I mean you make it seem like its just a realization you come to as natural as can be. But a lot of people have experienced a lot of anguish over this. They have spoken about how confused they were and they weren't sure if they were attracted to the same sex or not they thought they might be but weren't sure. That is something I never experienced as a hetero I was always 100% sure who I was attracted to. So I appreciate your argument but I feel like you aren't carrying it all the way through and seeing all sides to it. Not to mention a ton of people have told stories about how they didn't know they were gay till they experimented and discovered they liked it. This implies that they became gay because of the pleasure they experienced in the act. That of course implies it has nothing to do with genetics or how they were born.

I would also like to take the time to say that I truly do not intend to offend anyone or make anyone feel bad about who or what they are or how they feel. I just wanna encourage more discussion and critical thinking of this subject.

[steellord321]

We also know that you can become addicted to certain experiences. In fact you can become addicted to practically anyway. So if the scenario is you can't help who you're attracted to and you start to act on that attraction over and over then you have locked it in so that it becomes the only thing that will ever attract you. You can also be attracted to the idea of drugs or killing people or killing yourself doesn't mean you should do it of course. And it is up to everyone to decide for themselves what you will and will not act on. But just because you have certain feelings about things doesn't mean they are outside of your control. You can control your feelings specifically by controlling your actions. Did you know you can CONVINCE yourself to love a person. If you tell yourself everyday that you hate a person then guess what you will grow to hate them and if you tell yourself everyday you love a person then guess what happens????????? The mind is A VERY POWERFUL THING and I wish people would stop acting like its powerless in the face of our genetics or even our early environment or what have you. People just want to make excuses for whatever behavior they deem appropriate for themselves no matter what that behavior is and this relates to far more than just sexuality.

nonono. Sorry but your theory causes a lot of harm to teens who are already torn up about it. I wish people like you would just ask instead of assume. Here's how it is, we get gay feelings without *ever* asking for them, whether we like it or not. Those feelings come back no matter what. If i fall out of love with a guy guess what will happen? The next person i fall for will also be a guy.

You also blow this out of proportion. If i act on these feelings, *so what*? I don't need to make excuses for something that feels good and natural and is *harmless*

Fairly good argument to make. Question for you....why do so many gay and bi people tell stories about how they were confused about their sexuality? I mean you make it seem like its just a realization you come to as natural as can be. But a lot of people have experienced a lot of anguish over this. They have spoken about how confused they were and they weren't sure if they were attracted to the same sex or not they thought they might be but weren't sure. That is something I never experienced as a hetero I was always 100% sure who I was attracted to. So I appreciate your argument but I feel like you aren't carrying it all the way through and seeing all sides to it. Not to mention a ton of people have told stories about how they didn't know they were gay till they experimented and discovered they liked it. This implies that they became gay because of the pleasure they experienced in the act. That of course implies it has nothing to do with genetics or how they were born.

Cause its drilled into us from the start to act like a certain gender and to fall in love with the opposite sex. Even we expect that to happen. When it doesn't, it can be...bewildering. So in some cases we have to experiment first.

That wasn't the case for me. Everyone is diff. I like only guys and could tell very early in puberty.

You kind of answer your own question. What can drive someone to gay sex and to enjoy it, except for genetics? That's not something people just randomly do. If it is then you need to ask why you haven't done that yourself.

[baseballjock]

what do you mean by, "they make it an option"
well if u have the mind set that its ok then u make it an option

[Hallie]

We also know that you can become addicted to certain experiences. In fact you can become addicted to practically anyway. So if the scenario is you can't help who you're attracted to and you start to act on that attraction over and over then you have locked it in so that it becomes the only thing that will ever attract you. You can also be attracted to the idea of drugs or killing people or killing yourself doesn't mean you should do it of course. And it is up to everyone to decide for themselves what you will and will not act on. But just because you have certain feelings about things doesn't mean they are outside of your control. You can control your feelings specifically by controlling your actions. Did you know you can CONVINCE yourself to love a person. If you tell yourself everyday that you hate a person then guess what you will grow to hate them and if you tell yourself everyday you love a person then guess what happens????????? The mind is A VERY POWERFUL THING and I wish people would stop acting like its powerless in the face of our genetics or even our early environment or what have you. People just want to make excuses for whatever behavior they deem appropriate for themselves no matter what that behavior is and this relates to far more than just sexuality.


The way you used the word "attraction" to drugs and other things that are harmful, you didn't use it in the relevant sense. I am talking about a sexual attraction. How does an addiction come into play? Gay people feel the same way about the same sex as straight people do the opposite sex. would you call that an addiction? Homosexuals go through the same things as straight people do in relationships. Sex, sure. Kissing, of course. But what about going on a romantic date with someone? Taking them out to dinner, midnight walks on the beach, holding hands side by side. Flirting. Even just talking. That's romance, and gay people do it too. it's not like all they do is sex.
Yes, you are right that just because someone is born with feelings doesn't mean that you should act on them. If someone were to come up to another person and start hitting them for no reason because he had anger issues, you're not going to say "It's okay, he was born that way!" However, I encourage you to think critically on the subject as well. First of all, being addicted to drugs or killing people is clearly harmful. A relationship that takes place between two consenting adults of the same sex doesn't hurt anyone. And whether it's "true" love or just a product of convincing yourself is between the people in the relationship, and it's not for you to decide. You can't judge how another person thinks or feels. Also, there is no logical reason to convince yourself to be gay. Who would want to be gay, especially when there are people out there like you who don't understand it? What about the people who will condemn you? In Uganda, you can receive the death penalty for homosexual sex more than once, and there is still a gay community there! Why do you think that is? Why would they choose that terrible life? Life is most likely going to be harder for a gay person, so it doesn't make sense that you would want to convince yourself that you're gay. I know I wish I wasn't. Being with guys was just weird for me--it wasn't something that repulsed me, but it felt wrong. I felt like I was lying. Hiding myself. Being with a girl just clicked for me. I felt that spark. I got butterflies in my stomach. I fell in love, although I wish I hadn't because I spent a lot of time crying over her. The reality is that whether it's a choice or not is kind of irrelevant, even though it is clearly not, and I can know that from personal experience. The truth of the matter is that there is nothing wrong with a consensual, respectful adult relationship, no matter who it's with.

[The Trendy Wolf]

Also why do people think its not a choice when you are attracted to same sex or opposite sex or both sexes but everyone thinks it is a choice when you're attracted to a certain age group of people. If you are born a certain way and really do have no control over who or what you're attracted to than should we allow 30 year olds to have sex with 10 year olds and say nothing about it?

Just because people think that way doesn't meant that it's true for that person whom has feelings for younger children. Perhaps they do not choose that. Them acting upon those feelings is clearly an issue in today's society, as those children usually haven't developed a sexuality themselves. However, it isn't necessarily that person's fault if they feel an attraction towards younger children. Also, just because society views a 30 years old having sex with a younger child as being a horrible act of pedophilia, doesn't mean that it isn't an act of love. These are clearly the issues that we face today, and a solution should be devised other than one involving punishment for having feelings of instinctually activated love.

The way you used the word "attraction" to drugs and other things that are harmful, you didn't use it in the relevant sense. I am talking about a sexual attraction. How does an addiction come into play? Gay people feel the same way about the same sex as straight people do the opposite sex. would you call that an addiction? Homosexuals go through the same things as straight people do in relationships. Sex, sure. Kissing, of course. But what about going on a romantic date with someone? Taking them out to dinner, midnight walks on the beach, holding hands side by side. Flirting. Even just talking. That's romance, and gay people do it too. it's not like all they do is sex.
Yes, you are right that just because someone is born with feelings doesn't mean that you should act on them. If someone were to come up to another person and start hitting them for no reason because he had anger issues, you're not going to say "It's okay, he was born that way!" However, I encourage you to think critically on the subject as well. First of all, being addicted to drugs or killing people is clearly harmful. A relationship that takes place between two consenting adults of the same sex doesn't hurt anyone. And whether it's "true" love or just a product of convincing yourself is between the people in the relationship, and it's not for you to decide. You can't judge how another person thinks or feels. Also, there is no logical reason to convince yourself to be gay. Who would want to be gay, especially when there are people out there like you who don't understand it? What about the people who will condemn you? In Uganda, you can receive the death penalty for homosexual sex more than once, and there is still a gay community there! Why do you think that is? Why would they choose that terrible life? Life is most likely going to be harder for a gay person, so it doesn't make sense that you would want to convince yourself that you're gay. I know I wish I wasn't. Being with guys was just weird for me--it wasn't something that repulsed me, but it felt wrong. I felt like I was lying. Hiding myself. Being with a girl just clicked for me. I felt that spark. I got butterflies in my stomach. I fell in love, although I wish I hadn't because I spent a lot of time crying over her. The reality is that whether it's a choice or not is kind of irrelevant, even though it is clearly not, and I can know that from personal experience. The truth of the matter is that there is nothing wrong with a consensual, respectful adult relationship, no matter who it's with.

Exactly, romantic instincts of love are very different from sexual attractions. Being gay is often shown in men who possess higher levels of estrogen, so it is obvious why people who are more attracted to the same sex are simply programmed with those they feel love for.

Posts merged. Next time, please use the "Edit" or "Multi" button. ~Elysium

[NickCollins]

I believe that we were born this way cause i've like boys all my life

[Croconaw]

It's definitely not a choice. You're born that way.

[DeadEyes]

To me someone saying i chose to be gay is as ludicrous them saying i chose to be autistic.

Amen to that.

[Celtics]

Its not a choice, if it was I would be 100% straight but I'm not. The hard put for me is that I'm christian and my god hates gays so like what do i do, he made me this way.

[Zanman11]

I'm straight, but I believe that it is in your genetics to be gay... And I am fully supportive of gay people

[Its Pretty]

rogoshtalimur made some good points. The mind can do very powerful things, such as dream up a god and a bible and stuff. Wouldn't it also be able to forge the mind into being homosexual (or heterosexual) to gain an advantage in a certain situation? I've heard stories of people who started out completely gay then got married and had 5 children then divorced and became gay again. Didn't that guy have a choice?

[Dunce]

Are you suggesting you decided to be straight? If so, you might want to rethink what you actually want. Why would someone choose to be gay? When people find the same sex attractive they have to put aside societies expectations, their parents expectations, even their own expectations, just to be happy and follow their hearts. If you find that it's possible to make this decision, they why don't you become gay for a while? You know, for the sake of science.

[steellord321]

rogoshtalimur made some good points. The mind can do very powerful things, such as dream up a god and a bible and stuff. Wouldn't it also be able to forge the mind into being homosexual (or heterosexual) to gain an advantage in a certain situation? I've heard stories of people who started out completely gay then got married and had 5 children then divorced and became gay again. Didn't that guy have a choice?

My uncle did this. Married 20 years, 3 kids, left across the country to be with a guy. But he was gay the whole time. None of it changes the fact of being attracted to the same sex, which can't be changed.

[Its Pretty]

Are you suggesting you decided to be straight? If so, you might want to rethink what you actually want. Why would someone choose to be gay? When people find the same sex attractive they have to put aside societies expectations, their parents expectations, even their own expectations, just to be happy and follow their hearts. If you find that it's possible to make this decision, they why don't you become gay for a while? You know, for the sake of science.

Good idea. I think I just might now.

[teen.jpg]

If it was a choice than I'm pretty sure I would remember choosing.