It's happening again...

[ImagineRepublicCity]

So you know, I did used to self harm and stuff last year and I did stop for a bit and stuff, but I started to do it again on Sunday and I always get the urge to and I know that it's not good for me.

It's like, I'm trying really hard to change what I do for myself but it never works out whenever I do. And I just don't have those people I can talk to as freely as I used to before.

I know what I do effects others (If they find out) but every time I just sink a bit lower than before and because my mum is dying, she always gets angry all the time and likes to guilt trip and things and it's actually extremely upsetting. I can't even talk to her because the last time I did, it was horrible.

Things are messed up and I can't stop myself, it just comforts me whenever I have/use my knife.

Yeah...

[Tarannosaurus]

All you can do is keep trying, a year ago I thought I had given up self harm for good and I've relapsed twice since then. But you can do it if you keep trying. A psychologist told me that my self harming was a way of keeping in touch with reality. You are going through some really hard things and your brain could be protecting you from them by disconnecting you from reality, and self harm can be a form of regaining control. Try and find other ways of getting in touch with reality. Write about it, shout about it, talk about it - or if you feel you can't talk to people, come on here and rant about it. There's no doubt that it will be hard but you've done it once, you can do it again :) Good luck :hug: