I don't understand

[Seemyheart]

I don't understand, nothing is bad at the moment. I'm "ok" I guess. But I can't shake the urges I'm feeling right now. I can't talk to my friends about this, I never told them about this, and I can't do that to them... I don't understand myself. I don't understand how I can be ok but want to cut again...
Gosh... I just want it to stop. I want to be "normal"...