Something that bothers me here...

[Hauptmann Kauffman]

Is that everyone is always so scared about homosexuality! AM I GAY!?! "Oh no, dont worry, you need to be both emotionally and sexually attracted to guys to be gay". Heres my thought on this: IT WORKS BOTH WAYS! Whos to say you arent a gay man with a crush on a girl!?! Why is it so vital to know right now when you are so young? Wisdom comes with time, things settle down. Why not wait until you are older to ask these questions? Why should you cement it all now? Why give yourself a sexual label now, so early? For gods sake peple, first of all, stop talking about homosexuality as if it is a bad thing, something to be feared. Second, wait until you get older to get in a huge hype. Things will become apparent later on, just relax, and enjoy your life right now! There, those are my thoughts for now, say what you will....

[The Batman]

The reason why people want to label themselves so young is because the way they are treated at school and other places. When someone at school constantly is in your face saying your gay or call you homosexual then you start to get these feeling for a member of the same sex then you'll get scared thinking that everything they said is true then you come on here looking for answers. Its human nature to want an explanation to everything and a lot of people just can't help it. Some people think being gay is a bad thing for several different reason religion, family upbringings, and school settings. You can't just say stop trying to label yourself so young because its in human nature to label things why else do they have special ed in elementary school.

[Maverick]

Sexuality can be a scary and confusing thing for a lot of people. And majority of young teens don't know how it works. You're knowledgeable about it that's why it isn't a big deal to you, but a lot of people think why am I feeling this way I'm supposed to be attracted to the opposite sex. And its no secret being gay can be hard and unacceptable by a lot of people so to think you might be gay is just worrying.

[Hauptmann Kauffman]

Yes I understand what you two have brought up, but just the huge amount of negativity I see, hear and read is disgusting! "Am I gay!?!" "You're a Fag" "He's realllly gay" It just pisses me off, Its more than a worry Maverick, Being gay is like a fucking disease, and is treated as such!(by society, and the rhetoric makes this apparent...) Especially considering everyone uses "gay" as an insult! Back to what i said earlier, which no-one addressed. The "hormones" and "attracted both emotionally and sexually". First off, like I said earlier, that works both ways! Who's to say you arent gay, and the "hormones" are making you lean towards women? Who's to say that you have to be both emotionally and sexually attracted. Sexuality is such an objective thing during puberty, I dont think that any of us can really judge our true sexuality until we are 17+, when things start to settle down.

[Maverick]

We don't know. This is the internet. This isn't perfect but its better than nothing. All people are doing is trying to help others. The people asking questions don't mean any harm or offense.

Edit: Its just like when people ask for the millionth time is the size of their penis ok. Its going to get repetitive if you stay on the site long enough. Teens now and then pretty much have the same questions and concerns.

[Hauptmann Kauffman]

I know they dont mean any harm, Im just talking about the negativity in teh terms used by them, and society as a whole. And I know people are trying to help, I just hate the way people in general approach this, easily blowing it off as "hormones"

[The Batman]

That's because half of the time its just hormones and when they grow up they will get over it. The reason why people are always treating homosexuality as a disease with all of these theories about it and claiming there's a way to cure it and all of the other stuff. And maybe hormones do make gay guys like girls but their happy because to society their normal and you don't see any "Am I Straight". Its like saying why do athiest think that christianity is so wrong, because some of us keep trying to shove it down your throats while the others say its alright to be different.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

I think another reason a lot of people tell these kids it's likely just hormones, is because of how freaked out the kid always sounds. We want to reassure them that even though they could be gay, there's a fairly equal chance that they aren't, and they just need to relax and see what happens. Sure, it isn't ALWAYS hormones, but it serves as a reassuring explanation of why the questioner is suddenly not so sure about their sexuality. I don't think anyone is trying to say, "Oh, you're an idiot, you can't possible be gay, it's hormones, no go away", but most teens come here for reassurance that what they're going through is indeed normal. So we tell them it is normal and that they may or may not grow out of it, and life is good. I agree it's annoying that everyone asks "Am I gay?" as if they were really saying "Do I have the plague?", but maybe what we should do is not get mad at them, but show them that it's not bad to be gay/lesbian/bi/trans. Turn them into one less homophobe.

[byee]

Well, we can always count on Layne to bring up something that's both very intelligent and also very provocative.

I think there's this natural desire to be like every one else, that eventhough we all like to think of ourselves as individuals, we also get reassurance from fitting in and being a part of the larger group.

So, when it comes to sexuality, why should it be different? When a lot of people (or, maybe more precisely, guys, since the 'Am I gay?' issue is really a guy thing) start feeling things for their own gender it's a little unsettling. Hence, the insecurity and the need to figure it out (or perhaps, again more precisely, find a way to explain it away).

I don't think this is 'anti gay' as much as it is just human nature, people don't like experiencing themselves as vastly different than others. And of the expectations others have of them. And, in the absence of basic information, people fill in the blanks with their own fears and some of the garbage out there that passes as 'misinformation' or 'propaganda'. I think a lot of the attitudes come form a lack of basic info coupled with the anxiety that often accompanies that. Why so many in our society have negative attitudes towards gays is another (sad) issue.

I see our role here as providing basic info either from first hand experience, or on our factual knowledge about whatever the topic at hand is, not necessarily the gay issue, but everything puberty related. I personally believe that information, correct information, is the antidote towards both ignorance and negativity of all kinds, hence my own personal involvment at VT.

So, when people ask questions or express anxiety or apprehension, (or maybe even express negativity) it might be best to look at it as an opportunity to clarify their reality by providing some correct info, which provides the opportunity for them to reevaluate their position on whatever the issue might be. Clarity and accuracy have a wonderful way of obliterating small mindedness, as those who have more info are often less anxious, and therefore more open minded.

It's not necessarily bigotry, Layne, it's misinformation (or a lack of info) + anxiety + insecurity.