Dragged to church :(

[GreyGoldfish]

Do anyone else's parents drag them to church? My mom goes, but my dad doesn't. My mom forces me to attend church, even though my dad doesn't go. I feel like this is an issue I should be able to make my own decisions about.

[Cygnus]

I believe it is better suited here.

The White Padded Room :arrow2: Family and Friends

When I told my parents I was atheist they originally wanted me to still go to church, I do not know if this is the issue or if you are still christian/catholic, if you are try to negotiate a little, one week you go, the next week you don't, and then keep on progressing.

[PinkFloyd]

You definitely should have a say in it. No parent should be allowed to force religion on their daughter/son.

[Typhlosion]

Ouch. Thank goodness my parents aren't religious.

This can be a very hard topic to discuss with family since it's such a personal thing. Say you are less inclined to god and their answer will be more church and religion. Check out your mother's opinions on those who frequent church less, those that don't frequent it at all, atheists and people of other religions (it might be interesting to include non-abrahamic religions as well). If she hasn't extreme opinions, consider finding a way into her accepting you differently.

Or, try to do something with your father on Sundays, such as fishing, sports, games, clubs as an excuse to church. After that, maybe tell her your evaluation of your life with less church as it's the same. Make sure you tell her you keep praying privately and haven't lost faith or something of the sorts. Don't abruptly abandon it, it might not be a smart move.

My mother was in a similar problem, she agreed to go to church until she was 13 and beyond that she would have the power of choice. Her parents were probably less fanatic about religion than your mother, though.

[GreyGoldfish]

Yeah, my parents like to run the house like dictators. I don't have freedom of choice here. I didn't know parents literally told their children "I told you so. Now you have to do it." as a reason, but my parents have, more than once. There is no negotiating. And it doesn't help that my church teaches that parents should require their children to attend church, and not allow it to be a choice at all. Yep, direct quote from the good pastor. I was dragged to that sermon too.

[RyGar]

I'm just going to play devils advocate,
Maybe your parents think you haven't had the necessary life experience to make uh a drastic life choice. And if you say it isn't a big deal, it's not drastic, then a. Why do you care in the first place, and b. it should be a big deal. I feel lie a. Is self explanatory, if it's not a big deal to you, but it obviously is a big deal to your parents, why mess with them. Religion choices should be a big deal because it a system of belief. Weather or nt you ascribe to all aspects is different from weather or not the system is relevant to your life. What I'm saying is, you can practice however you want, but choosing to change your belief system is a bigger deal than choosing not to practice in church. If you dont want to go, outline why. Explain to your mom why you feel church is taking awaytime from your life. Ultimately feel how you want, Mae your own choices, but uderstand the difference and gravity o your choices before you announce them to the world thinking one thing meaning another.
Just my two cents from the oter ide

[LunarScorpio]

It is the opposite for me, my parents are not religious, yet I really am. I have to go to church (chapel) as part of my daily life. I like it though

[Abyssal Echo]

When I was little my mom would make me go. now she asks me if I want to go.

[AlexOnToast]

I can't really relate, I have only been in a church a handful of times for weddings etc. I do however thing you have every right to decide upon whether you attend church or not.

[ImagineRepublicCity]

I used to make myself go because my mum wanted me to go but I really didn't like it. When you should do is reason with them. Let them know that you're not christian or don't enjoy going (Or both) and let them know that no matter what God (If you believe) does not want you to be forced to go. They say church is a way to you know, kinda like say hi so if you don't want to go, you really shouldn't. let them know.

[DarkOmega]

just tell her no ! I'm not religious and you can't force me to be .and if she forces you talk to someone that can set this straight .or just say you will go and go do something else

[Gumleaf]

Just because you're forced to go doesn't mean you are forced to absorb what they say or preach. If it's not for you, then tune out or something while you're there. Think about other things.

[teen.jpg]

You don't have to be an active part of the church, all they ask is for you to go. Really I don't think its worth the trouble fighting with them over it because your parents would have to be pretty open to take kindly to what you have to say.

Or you could risk it and it might work out for the better, you know your parents better then I do.

[Syvelocin]

Nope. I put up so much of a fight that my mum gave up when I was eight lol.

My upbringing is very different probably, but just don't go. I don't see the problem with that. If my mum kept pushing me, once I was old enough to perceive that my parents' word was not law I would have just stayed home. I wouldn't have received consequences for that, and if I was from a family that would give punishments for that then I'd probably still not go because Christianity itself just really nauseates me, no offence. I don't seem to have that problem with eastern religions though.

[Body odah Man]

Man this is a tough dilemma. There's a bunch of different factors on this: how religious your mom is, how pissed she gets when you don't go, how she feels about atheists, 'heathens' etc. which can influence her reaction and likeliness to agreeing with what u want. I'd try negotiating or sticking to your guns personally if you really don't want to go but if your mom's determined...you're screwed so good luck.

Sources-when I was 10 I tried getting out of baths. Mom wasn't having it so no luck.
Moral-moms are fuckin powerful.

[Gamma Male]

Just make a gigantic deal out of it until she gives in. You shouldn't have to be forced to go if you don't want to.

[DarkHorse4eva]

i'm grateful that i'm not dragged to church, i've only been in a church if it was to weddings, or my small cousins getting baptized

[Pulp501]

I don't think it's a big deal. Your mother has the right to take you wherever, it doesn't mean you have to do anything, you don't have to participate. If it is that big of a deal to you, try talking with her and saying you aren't religious.