Just need some advice

[celestialwinds]

I don't really feel comfortable going to my family about this sort of thing because I always get the generic "you're fine" or "give it time". I started college a little over a month ago, I graduated high school early when I was 17. So far I haven't even been able to make acquaintances. I went to the activity for students to get to know people and the people in my group who I tried to reach out to literally just insulted me saying things like "oh, you're an art major? that's so stupid I have to work SO much harder in my major." Anyone I talk to on campus just seems to be done with me by the time I say 'hello' or ask them something. My only guess is that I've been told I look younger than I actually am, but I have no idea.

My question is.. what am I doing wrong? Maybe this doesn't matter to some people but in high school boys never seemed to like me and I have absolutely no idea why. People act shocked when I tell them I've never been in a relationship or even more sadly, been kissed. I'm not overweight, I'm 5'3, old high school friends and people used to tell me all the time how cute and pretty I was. My friends in photography classes would ask me to model for them all the time. I was as outgoing and flirtatious as any other girl, the difference being I was never asked to any of the high school dances. I guess I just feel so hopelessly lonely and depressed. (I do have a history of mental illness - depression/panic attacks) I go to school and then I just go home and sit by myself. Any old friends I try to make plans to hang out with just cancel on me or would rather spend time with their boyfriend/girlfriend.

My best friend from high school is going to the same college with me but she's already made some huge circle of friends and would rather spend time with them than me. I'm honestly trying so hard to be outgoing and friendly but I feel like I just get slapped in the face by people in return. I slipped on the ice the other day on campus and fell and some guy literally just stared at me for a few seconds and then walked away without offering any kind of help.

This is manifesting itself into stress and I wake up in the middle of the night with the most horrible panic/depression attacks where I literally feel like I'm dying and nothing will be okay again.

[The Trendy Wolf]

First of all, when trying to be social, I think that you should just be you, and it won't make it so hard to make friends if you just say what you really think. People who don't want to have you around with them most likely are just uncomfortable around you, for whatever reason that might be. You seem like a wonderful girl with a passion for art, which many people just can't seem to appreciate.

I don't have many friends myself and I sit alone at home every day. I cannot even remember the last time I went out with a friend besides my neighbor, whom I have known since I was four and he was five. He's basically the only real friend that I have; He was also born with a hearing problem that lasted for the first few years of his life, and it really took a toll on his learning abilities.

All of my school years start out great and I make all new friends, but it always slowly begins to get worse as I become more outgoing with them. With my ADHD, it's hard to have people like me when I try being 'me', and many of them just see it as an annoyance, but they don't understand how difficult it is to control my disorder.

My point is, if people don't like you for 'you', then don't take it personally because they aren't comfortable. In the case involving your best friend, I would tell her that you are feeling so alone lately, and just explain what's going on with your social life as a whole.

I must also recommend seeing a psychologist if at all possible, and believe me when I say that it will get better. :D