A Life Worth Living

[ausley]

I don't really know where to start... This year has been kind of a tough year (2013-2014) In the beginning of the school year are started to become depressed due to friendships problems with my parents and my failure in academics. After the new year I got a little bit better i guess because I got use to the loneliness and failure in life. I have no friends and no sense of a successful future, I come home everyday stay in my room alone and just sleep and lye in my bed. School has been a lot harder for me, I find it hard to do my work and concentrate in class, along with that social situations are almost my worse enemy now cause I don't know how to talk to people socially. I have a fake group of friends who don't like me but i surround myself around them so I don't look like a loner in school. I have some talents but when I pursue something I know in the end I will utterly fail because its literally just what I do.
Lately I've been watching and reading about things based ok the topic of suicide and I get scared sometimes because I have considered this multiple times this year. Im even thinking about cutting again but try to always avoid it because im scares again and don't want people to see. cuts and worry. I've also been having dreams of dying and panic attacks which come frequently now. On some days the dream of dying feels freeing and I come to terms with not living anymore. I've come up with an idea that there will be somethingsomething better after life this agony and sadness I have right nowwan be ended if I wanted to. Its not exactly the afterlife bad or good that stops mr from doing it. Its the fact that if I do take the step of suicide that I will disappoint those around me and hurt the few people that care about me. I guess its an act of selfishness if I was to do it and I don't want to hurt those around me because they don't deserve to feel pain. But i don't think I can handle much more pain, to even have these thoughts says something right? Its my 16 birthday coming up and I think i have come to terms that is the deadline of my choice. I honestly can't take life anymore to be in a self being with so much sadness bottled is hard, I try to be happy around people so they Don worry Ans look on the briggtsise of things but I have noticed lately that the bright side of things is with me gone.

I guess my questions would be...
- is it wrong or selfish of me to commit?
- Can anyone connect? if so whatd you do about it?
- Is there something wrong with me?

[Fanta_Lover44]

Hey man, i know what you're feeling, i also have that fake group of friends, i'm not that social either, but you're soo young. Theres still a lot of time to make improvements, i'm not doing brillantly at school and for the past 4-5 years it has been rather tough. Just hang in there buddy, find stuff that makes you happy and do it. And remember life is a gift and shouldn't be thrown away. It can get better, so don't give up. ;) I'm here if you ever want someone to talk to. No-one should take their own lives to put them out of pain. There is nothing wrong with you.

[blarg2011]

just wait bro... things tends to get better as u grow up... u just got to get to ur next stage of life... u know, university or work... life changes a lot!

[ImagineRepublicCity]

I know a tad what you mean. I used to have the group of not really friends but I don't know what was better for me, having 'friends' or not having friends at all. School can get in the way and everything, and concentration is difficult but lemme tell you something. I won't say you are 100% okay because that is impossible, but you're not not okay either. A lot of people are in your situation. Try to understand that you have to push through for a bit more, every time. I know it sounds stupid because plenty of people have probably told you that but it is for the best. Committing suicide is quite a selfish thing to do and you shouldn't feel guilty for that. We all have to be selfish, but taking away your life, I mean, hold it with you. After all, it stays with you all the time, its deserves to see you happy. Push through because one day you'll come to realise that it was such a good option to keep on living.

[tyree11]

Remember that every life is worth living, even if the person who lives it is currently unable to see how beautiful and valuable that life may be. The source of our creation takes the time to beat our hearts, breath our lungs, and grow our hair. If the source of our creation has much love for us we must have some degree of value. When things are going great remember not to get caught up an attached to the good. This will pass. When things are not going well remember not to get attached and caught up in this, as well, for this too will pass.