Why won't he let it go?

[Alexwellace]

I am in quite a conundrum here and I think the only way to explain it is to start from the beginning.

Me and this guy share the same friend group, but we aren't really friends. We used to say hello politely and hug each other when someone went home (It's a very touchy feely friend group, this was normal) but would never really talk. Then one day the group was walking home from school and I slipped in the mud (accompanied with obligatory ''You fell over!'') and got caked in the stuff and this guy offered for me to come to his house to clean up. I wasn't sure but he insisted, but when we where on the way there it got uncomfortable when he tried to talk about porn and stuff which I wasn't overly comfortable with and tried to change the subject. Then when we got to his he asked to play truth or dare (I should of got it by here, I really should of) and I said sure to change the subject. I made up some really mundane one (Lick the dog...) then he instantly asks me to get naked. I was shocked but he said I had to and to be honest I was a little bi-curious back then. One thing led to another and we where later giving each other hand jobs on his bed (FTR I asked to put porn on to make it less weird :() and then he said he wanted a blow job, I said no and then he gave me one to show me. I didn't feel comfortable and said I wanted to leave, he tried to convince me to stay but I packed up and left.

Now that's out the way the problem is that this happened a good few months ago and I tried to forget about it but he keeps on insisting that I ''come to his house to see his new game'' or to ''compare notes'' (Awww, he thinks I do homework :rolleyes:) and I always politely say no but he keeps asking in less subtle ways and now I don't even go near him because it makes me uncomfortable. I mean if I tell him to simply stuff it and don't talk to me because you make me uncomfortable he might get mad and could tell about what happened (Not an option, it was a stupid mistake) but I can't simply keep making up worse and worse excuses about why I can't ''go see his new puzzle'' (Seriously, my last excuse was I had volleyball practice...). What can I do???

Thx, sorry about the story but there is no other way to describe what is happening. FTR I have found out I am straight(-ish) and don't want anything like that to happen again.

[baseballjock]

tell him no firmly and that hes not ur type

[Zachary G]

i would pull him to the side and let him know that he is making you uncomfortable by constantly asking you to come to his house, then also explain that what happened a few months ago was just experimentation and nothing more and that you arent interested in doing it again.

if he takes it hard, thats his problem, not yours. and if he starts to tell people, well its his word against yours and there is no way anyone can prove you did anything. only you know the truth and eventually he will get tired and give it up.

[kylem1229]

Well the nice way is to tell him to stop. Number 2 is to tell him to go screw himself and flip him off (Probably not the recommended way)
Or just keep avoiding him at all costs, and tell him you arent interested, and tell an adult about it.

[baseballjock]

Well the nice way is to tell him to stop. Number 2 is to tell him to go screw himself and flip him off (Probably not the recommended way)
Or just keep avoiding him at all costs, and tell him you arent interested, and tell an adult about it.

exactly but forget the part about telling an adult unless u comsider it rape

[blarg2011]

just tell him u r str8... is he out of the closet? if he's not... i don't think he'll tell nobody, cuz he gave u a blowjob lol haha

anyway, making up excuses is not always good, and ignoring either... just tell him the truth, remember he's human too and he's got feelings...

[Alexwellace]

just tell him u r str8... is he out of the closet? if he's not... i don't think he'll tell nobody, cuz he gave u a blowjob lol haha

anyway, making up excuses is not always good, and ignoring either... just tell him the truth, remember he's human too and he's got feelings...

Probably he won't tell but most people thinks he 'swings that way' anyhow and I have quite a lot to lose if that came out (Girl friend, Strangely homophobic best friend ((Don't ask)), Showering in after Rugby game) so it's the fact he has feelings that is scaring me. What if I hurt them by telling him that I can no longer be in the same room as him because I feel uncomfortable when h obviously wants to try again, I mean it's rough and I am a terrible person for doing it with him if it meant more to him then to me but I really feel we can't be (Not quite) friends anymore. That could send him stroppy and he'd let might tell someone :(

[blarg2011]

but u don't have to stop being friends, specially if he's part of the group... u'll never stop seeing him cuz i don't think ur other friends will choose betwen u or him... just tell him u r not interested, u like girls, and that it should have never happened, if he feels something for u, i think he'll understand...
something i do when i don't want to be alone with some1 is just call another friend in common... for example, he tells u to go his home and "play a game".. say "sounds good... ill go with X" it has worked for me a lot...

[killerrockyroad]

Just tell him nicely to get lost

[Ariesboy]

I am in quite a conundrum here and I think the only way to explain it is to start from the beginning.

Me and this guy share the same friend group, but we aren't really friends. We used to say hello politely and hug each other when someone went home (It's a very touchy feely friend group, this was normal) but would never really talk. Then one day the group was walking home from school and I slipped in the mud (accompanied with obligatory ''You fell over!'') and got caked in the stuff and this guy offered for me to come to his house to clean up. I wasn't sure but he insisted, but when we where on the way there it got uncomfortable when he tried to talk about porn and stuff which I wasn't overly comfortable with and tried to change the subject. Then when we got to his he asked to play truth or dare (I should of got it by here, I really should of) and I said sure to change the subject. I made up some really mundane one (Lick the dog...) then he instantly asks me to get naked. I was shocked but he said I had to and to be honest I was a little bi-curious back then. One thing led to another and we where later giving each other hand jobs on his bed (FTR I asked to put porn on to make it less weird :() and then he said he wanted a blow job, I said no and then he gave me one to show me. I didn't feel comfortable and said I wanted to leave, he tried to convince me to stay but I packed up and left.

Now that's out the way the problem is that this happened a good few months ago and I tried to forget about it but he keeps on insisting that I ''come to his house to see his new game'' or to ''compare notes'' (Awww, he thinks I do homework :rolleyes:) and I always politely say no but he keeps asking in less subtle ways and now I don't even go near him because it makes me uncomfortable. I mean if I tell him to simply stuff it and don't talk to me because you make me uncomfortable he might get mad and could tell about what happened (Not an option, it was a stupid mistake) but I can't simply keep making up worse and worse excuses about why I can't ''go see his new puzzle'' (Seriously, my last excuse was I had volleyball practice...). What can I do???

Thx, sorry about the story but there is no other way to describe what is happening. FTR I have found out I am straight(-ish) and don't want anything like that to happen again.


If I were you, I would take him up on one of his offers and if he tries anything funny tell him no, etc... But avoiding it will make it gradually get worse.

[Darksoul13]

Just tell him to stop and that you don't wanna come to his house. Ever.

[Voodo]

tell him he is putting you in a situation you are uncomfortable with and that what happened was a mistake... hopefully he should understand

[frisbee25]

wait a few more month if he still does it call it harassment

[chiisaiaoiryu]

Boy, he's the epitome of pushy. Subtlety, thy name is not that guy's.

But yeah, the best thing to do is to have a firm talk instead of making more excuses. Start off by saying something nice. Even if it's not the truth, it's best to start nice. For example, you could thank him for showing you something sexually new. Then you can say that you weren't all that comfortable with it.

The last thing you want is to be direct and say something like you're not my type. A situation like this could easily make one see a simple direct comment to be overly direct. Instead, say that you appreciate all the invitations to his place but you still feel uncomfortable about what happened last time. And if he still pushes to mess around more, just stay firm and say that you really didn't feel comfortable with it.

And if he's still being persistent, then suggest that you bring along someone else and make it a group study or game session. I really doubt he'd want to try anything sexual if he does accept having another person in his planned gathering with you. It's clear he feels unusually comfortable with the thought of doing stuff with you.

Notice how my example started off small and gradually went to the real problem? Don't go directly to the problem with something as delicate as this; the last thing you want is for it to blow up in your face. If it is going to blow up, at least you softened the blow with lead-in comments. If you haven't confronted him yet, then I suggest you try this tactic. Remember, don't be afraid to lie about being thankful for him showing you something sexually new. It's merely a way to gently ease into the main problem.

[Baseball1999]

He won't tell nobody. If he is straight and tells somebody, people will find out he gave you a blow job and hand job.

[frisbee25]

I am in quite a conundrum here and I think the only way to explain it is to start from the beginning.

Me and this guy share the same friend group, but we aren't really friends. We used to say hello politely and hug each other when someone went home (It's a very touchy feely friend group, this was normal) but would never really talk. Then one day the group was walking home from school and I slipped in the mud (accompanied with obligatory ''You fell over!'') and got caked in the stuff and this guy offered for me to come to his house to clean up. I wasn't sure but he insisted, but when we where on the way there it got uncomfortable when he tried to talk about porn and stuff which I wasn't overly comfortable with and tried to change the subject. Then when we got to his he asked to play truth or dare (I should of got it by here, I really should of) and I said sure to change the subject. I made up some really mundane one (Lick the dog...) then he instantly asks me to get naked. I was shocked but he said I had to and to be honest I was a little bi-curious back then. One thing led to another and we where later giving each other hand jobs on his bed (FTR I asked to put porn on to make it less weird :() and then he said he wanted a blow job, I said no and then he gave me one to show me. I didn't feel comfortable and said I wanted to leave, he tried to convince me to stay but I packed up and left.

Now that's out the way the problem is that this happened a good few months ago and I tried to forget about it but he keeps on insisting that I ''come to his house to see his new game'' or to ''compare notes'' (Awww, he thinks I do homework :rolleyes:) and I always politely say no but he keeps asking in less subtle ways and now I don't even go near him because it makes me uncomfortable. I mean if I tell him to simply stuff it and don't talk to me because you make me uncomfortable he might get mad and could tell about what happened (Not an option, it was a stupid mistake) but I can't simply keep making up worse and worse excuses about why I can't ''go see his new puzzle'' (Seriously, my last excuse was I had volleyball practice...). What can I do???

Thx, sorry about the story but there is no other way to describe what is happening. FTR I have found out I am straight(-ish) and don't want anything like that to happen again.


Call it harassment

[ComfortableInChaos]

(Awww, he thinks I do homework :rolleyes:)

Thx, sorry about the story but there is no other way to describe what is happening. FTR I have found out I am straight(-ish) and don't want anything like that to happen again.

Just tell him straight up, you're not into doing things with guys and it didn't make you very comfortable letting things happen the way they did. Just say you don't wanna try things like that.

(The homework thing made me laugh a bit XD )

[Alexwellace]

The thing is it's not harassment, while I am extremely sure what HE means when he says ''i have a new puzzle i need to show you'' would someone else, i darn well hope not! So it's not harassment unless i tell someone what happened, which isn't an option.

He asked me again today (at least he is getting more inventivee, asking for me to come round and Beta read his book) and i said firmly no but didn't have the heart to say anymore (friends where around, if i took him to a corner they would of asked what we talked about, stupid lovely caring friends, such jerks!) and he walked off and said maybe tomorrow. Then when the group was splitting up after school and we where giving out hugs i tried to avoid him and almost worked, got half a street away when he came running up the street all Romeo and Juliet style shouting ''I forgot to hug you!'' and i almost died! But i was walking with his friends and when he hugged me he did this weird...thrusty...thing. Very deliberate, very...Ewwwch. I couldn't react or anything because that would draw attension to it,

This has gone to far today and i have decided i can't even stay friends with him. I don't want to feel like i'd be strining him along by giving him excuses or what ever he thinks will make me want to do it again. I just want to say ''go away, i don't like talking to you or even being near you'' in a way that won't make him hate me enough to ruin my life. Sounds easy huh?

Thanks for the support and ideas, Alex.