I wish... a were born a girl.

[Typhlosion]

Oh lord, finally writing what I came to VT for (even though I wanted it to be 100th post :( 101 is symmetric though! ^^) Heart pounding.

So... yeah. I've been having these thoughts for about... maybe a tad bit less than half an year. It kinda stemmed from a little imagination and slowly progressed into a much more developed idea of desire to be the opposite sex. I started putting much more thought into it since two months ago and sometimes start daydreaming of how it would be like. Sometimes going over 3 hours laying on a sofa or having a lone walk in the park, really.

For some reason, being a girl is a really attractive fantasy for me. The idea of different social roles is refreshing. The flow and greater liberty to emotions is just so alluring. How and what I do within society. To occupy myself of an idea of 'beauty' rather just than some shape of 'handsome'. Some more feelings of being 'content'. Quirkyness. I'm too dumb to make text get close to what I mean, yet enough to show the limits - I hope.

Sometimes when I do something less 'manly' or at times out of the blue I will just imagine myself as - in the body of - a girl I saw at my cram school: she was cute, but nothing out of the extraordinary, kinda quirky... And truthfully I got so used of imagining me in her (god that doesn't sound right) that I haven't thought of anyone else, but probably out of habit. From singing emotional music, acting out some quirks, doing a few things generally socially related to the opposite gender... and I wouldn't hesitate too much if offered clothes. Yeah, I'd be happy. (Yes this might be a somewhat naïve and/or sexist view, yet I suspect that most other roles are very similar and haven't given such an importance)

But then there's the other side of my self who just dismisses the idea. It's probably some fantasy solution for my existing social problems, ethnicity/looks, Asperger's, cynicism... Just a means where social constructs restrict certain liberties to be a bit more free. Refresh my whole life. I'm OK as a guy, it's not as if I feel as if I need to change, but I wish I had always been a girl, which is quite different.

I don't know. By myself I'm with one side, writing tended to the other train of thought. Probably just hormones acting up.
I wouldn't hesitate a guaranteed chance at starting a new life as a female though.

So... Yeah, I'd love to have all and any imput, first time I ever mention this, and it made me feel a whole lot better. Thanks for reading
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[Forsakenbymyself]

I'd suggest you should speak to a psychologist. It may help clear your mind.
I'm sorry i cannot help you more, but i've never had anything like that happening to me.

[Tenoka]

Go for it, I wouldn't suggest a sexual change right away, but cross dressing. If you feel comfortable with a Misses title instead of a Mister, then go for it. I've dabbled around with dressing like a female (I have the figure and hair I guess, even when I'm not dressed as one of get mistaken for one.) and it's enjoyable.

[Zachary G]

Follw your heart, if its something you feel that strongly about then go for it. I like the idea of you trying the cross dressing first though, it might give you a better feel for the life before you commit to any major changes in your life.

[Its Pretty]

tbh I have weird fantasies of being a chick sometimes too :P Life just seems to be so much easier for girls.

[Elysium]

Have you examined the possibility that you may be transgender or gender fluid? Or do you think your fantasies are just that: fantasies?

[Star Wolf]

Life is NOT easier for girls! We still face a lot of sexism.

Just try cross-dressing. :D I do it when I want to, and it's fun.

[Croconaw]

I think you should try cross dressing. Life is definitely not easier for girls; I can tell you that right now. Good luck!

[ImAurora]

All the girls have said it... it's not easy :) Crossdressing might be a good idea

[AlexOnToast]

Honestly, I have thought about it too. But I like being a guy. Not that girl's arent great :D

[Body odah Man]

I'd suggest waiting a few months and if you really continue to fele like this to go get a sex change. I hope that your parents support your decision and I wish you luck figuring things out.

[DarkHorse4eva]

it takes a lot of thinking, and the proces itself takes a few years or so. its a huge decision and you have to concider every part of it

[sqishy]

I wouldn't jump into it, but if you are fine with the idea and accepting it, then crossdressing is a good way to start.

[Typhlosion]

Thanks for the input guys :D

In my original post I definitely rushed all my thoughts onto VT in a rather disoriented way. So I wanted to do a small update as well as clear things out.

One, such thoughts have been fewer, maybe because I'm alreadyy overloading my mind w/ preparation for college and such. I also want to confirm that they are, in part, stemming from my general dissatisfaction with myself; this isn't to say that it isn't a legitimate feeling.

I also want to add that I'm NOT troubled by being a male, so sex change is (still) out of question. As for x-dressing, I fear I won't find such liberty to do it anytime because of fraternity life and my (apparently) not-so-open-minded parents. I still would do it. Totes.

I also forgot to add an important question in the OP, Are these feelings possible indicators for future transgenderism? Is this something to scoff off?

I can't thank enough for your feedback :D Thanks for reading!
Also my 100th hexadecimal post!