I'm A Professional Dating Coach: Ask Me Anything

[goundy]

Hi guys, my names Dave but everyone refers to me by alias 'goundy'.

I'm called Goundy because when I was a nerd (I'm still a nerd) my world of warcraft/runescape/neopets name was always goundy. I grew up being socially unaware, awkward, shy and heavily introverted. I really never had any hope of meeting a girl - I sucked shit.
When I was 17 and left school, I stumbled onto the 'pickup artist community' and became obssessed with it. I went out 5-7 days a week for over a year to practice what we call 'game' - cold approaching women on the street or in the club to hone the skillset of meeting and attracting random women.

At first I was terrible and I admittedly probably creeped allot of girls out. But after so much consistent practice and forcing myself into the deep end, I started getting good, developing social skills and of course dating and sleepiing with allot of women. By the end of the year I went from having no social life and being a bonafide shut-in to having a wild dating life and having a serious relationship with a 31 year old jap girl. Since we broke up many months ago, I continued to liveout an extreme lifestyle of sexual variety and social abundance.
Its been 2 years since I started and I've been teaching 'cold approach' to guys who want to learn how to meet girls and made a site www goundy com which is catered to guys who were like me -young guys who want to learn how to meet and attract women.

So now you know a bit about me. I want to know about you. Does anyone have any questions for me? Dating, crushes, sex, relationships "does this person like me" etc...

[Mob Boss]

What about women wanting tips for guys? Or women wanting to attract women? Is there a gay/lesbo/bi game" section?
You're like Hitch, which i find both impressive and mildly concerning. I'm wondering why you aren't black, with a first name Will, last name Smith. Now before I give you the benefit of the doubt, Will, I have one vital question that might make or break your game plan here: how old are you?


The only pick up line I know involves the state Tennessee and the number ten.

[goundy]

I try limit my advice to stuff I'm experienced in and I've never experienced being a girl/bi/lesbo.
In my honest opinion, a girl wanting to meet a guy is really simple. Dress nice, go out to a club and stand there while hoardes of guys try to hit on you. Sift out the best one and vuala.

The hard part is making him stay though :\

Thanks for the compliment but Hitch is different. He sort of just hooks someone up to one person. With me, I show someone how to 'learn' game by going out and approaching allot with him, showing him how it's done, getting number, getting date, pulling etc, then he can go and practice by himself then a year later he will be a changed person.

"Will, I have one vital question that might make or break your game plan here: how old are you?"

I'm 19. When viewing from behind a computer screen, it doesn't seem very likely that I would be doing all the things I claim. Luckily though my website has infield footage of me cold approaching and loads of reviews from my bootcamp students. Check it out.

Also no pickup lines. It's 100% sincere, "hi, your cute. I'm Dave =D"

[WeAreOneRepublic]

I do not mean to be rude but I think calling yourself a 'professional dating coach' is probably not the best title, you aren't trained and dating involves probably a bit more than what you have described.

On another note, how long was this serious relationship?
Have you gained a bad reputation from doing this from either males, females or both?

[goundy]

I do not mean to be rude but I think calling yourself a 'professional dating coach' is probably not the best title, you aren't trained and dating involves probably a bit more than what you have described.

On another note, how long was this serious relationship?
Have you gained a bad reputation from doing this from either males, females or both?

Well yeah maybe it isn't the best title but I use the dictionary definition correctly. I get paid and make a living doing this so yeah - professional...

If you mean 'trained' as in doing a university course, I am not. It doesn't even exist but I don't take this role lightly. I spent a long long long time doing this. Imagine for the past 2 years you didn't do anything but went out 5-7, approached a dozen or so girls a day to perfect the craft of meeting and attracting women. If that doesn't make me qualified then nothing I can do will.
And yes, you are right. Doing this involves a hell of allot more than I described. The skill-set of meeting and attracting women is made up of hundreds of different parts you learn seperatly and a few key fundamentals that get you 80% of your results. It's a twisted science! And a bit of art to 8-)

With me and that girl I mentioned, I wasn't serious about her for 6 months because I was 'doing my thing', then I wanted to focus on career stuff so I became serious with her. We were really serious for 7 months -we were just about to move in together and I drafted legal documents to get her permanant residence here in Australia before we broke up- til we broke up. Then we kept seeing eachother but I wasn't serious about her after that.

Reputation:
Probably most hated person ever... well maybe not but I get allot of hate for doing this. An old wingman of mine who I was really good friends with came to hate me about a year ago and has put up really hateful and slanderous reviews about my bootcamp just to piss me off.
I have a massive thread on a site called 'puahate.com' designated to bashing me
And I got disowned from my parents.
Yeah...... ahhahahhaha

Theres loads of funnier shit thats happend like how a girl I was dating found my website and told me I used 'x,y,z' technique on her when we first met and said I said the exact same thing to her that I used on another girl in one of my infield videos.

[Saint of Sinners]

Well, to be honest, I was never a big fan of the whole pickup artist thing (they kinda have a bad reputation as asshole players), but you seem nice enough I guess.

Just a couple of quick questions,

How long do your students stay together with the girls they successfully get together with?

Don't most guys manage to get into relationships without the need for any training?

Would you consider passive (mindset, apprentice etc) or active (techniques etc) skills more important?

[goundy]

Well, to be honest, I was never a big fan of the whole pickup artist thing (they kinda have a bad reputation as asshole players), but you seem nice enough I guess.

Just a couple of quick questions,

How long do your students stay together with the girls they successfully get together with?

Don't most guys manage to get into relationships without the need for any training?

Would you consider passive (mindset, apprentice etc) or active (techniques etc) skills more important?

Oh thanks. It means allot to not be grouped in with the others lol.

There hasn't been enough time to measure the average of how long my students stay with their girls but I wouldn't say this is the most important measure for their success. Mainly because allot of them don't want a girlfriend but prefer to sleep around until they find the right one. Only one of my ex-students is in a serious relationship, the rest just want to meet more girls lol.

With the whole mindset vs techniques question, this is a big debate that goes on in the 'Pickup artist community'. The answer is they are both extremely important and you can't game without the other. I think of it like art vs science.

The science side is knowing all the logistical and technical things that make an interaction work. For example on bootcamp, we spend almost the entire four hours just learning the correct method to stopping 'moving sets' - stopping and befriending a girl who is walking in a crowded area- with 90% effectivness. I teach the exact way you come up beside her, the exact way you tap her on the shoulder and a bunch of other stuff. This is stuff I spent months learning; trying and testing. Then there is other stuff, how do you isolate her from her friends, how do you take her back to your house, how do you go on a date etc... All this stuff is technical

This stuff is imortant but it's only half of the story. The other half is weather the girl likes you or not and this has to do with what we call 'inner game'. This is your mindset and is the determinant of weather a girl likes you or not. You can have the technical stuff down pat but without the inner game, girls aren't going to like you.

Inner game is stuff you do outside of 'regular game' - going out and practicing cold approach pickup. The biggest thing for inner game is meditation which was the catalyst that completely changing my life. Its exceptionally hard to explain but when your mind is clear, your not nervous, your normal and confident, girls love you and its all a result of meditation.
Inner game is about being happy within yourself and when girls see your inner state, they are naturally drawn towards it. Other thigns that improve your inner game is health and nutrition. THIS IS MASSIVE!!! Then there is of course having great friends, passions, hobbies and other girls you are seeing. All things that contribute to the overall happiness and joy in your life is what contributes to having a positive inner state that attracts girls.

Good inner game + Good outter game = bad ass game. :)

[goundy]

Ask me anything

[Damien2014]

When i'm in uniform females seem to be attracted to me... why?
I get the saying girls like a man in uniform but why?

[Ellyz]

How do you tell a girl likes you just by looking at her ?
and if you saw that she actually like you what is the move? shall i go to her and say Hi and then what?
Im a newbie when it comes to this things +my personality is quiet and killer eyes
I usually go into the city and when girls look at me i look them back and smile which they giggles. and that is only i know since i dont have any girlfriend since birth

[goundy]

When i'm in uniform females seem to be attracted to me... why?
I get the saying girls like a man in uniform but why?

You should definately become a policeman. I read in the Newspaper that a policeman from Sydney got fired because he was sleeping with 10 different women while on duty. Lol.

Ellyz - Some girls it's very obvious if they like you and other times it's not noticeable. The most tell tale way I tell if a girl likes me is when I play with her hair or touch her face. If she's resistant then it's not on but if she just sits there passively, then she likes you.

The thing that seperates me from other guys is that I assume all girls like me until proven otherwise.

There is no one move to get things going. First of course there is 'hi, I'm Ellyz'. If you've never met he before and this is a cold approach, tell her you came to talk to her because you thought she was cute. From there on in it's all up to your personality. I can't necessarily tell you how your personality should be but I can tell you how you can develop it.

-You need more experience with women. Do this via going out and socializing with as many girls as possible; cold approach, social circle, online dating...
-You need to develop a flirty, fun, sexual vibe. Do this again by getting more experience with women. Also like I mentioned in a previous post, develop your 'inner game' which you can do by meditating, doing thigns your passionate about, haivng great friends etc.
-Never focus on the outcome of a specific interaction.

The thing is, if you want to get good at this you need to work hard for quite a long time. I can make out with a bunch of people in a club and go date random people from the street only because I worked hard at this for two years. As someone who teaches this, there isn't so much I can say to those who want a few 'quick tips' to get better with women because everything I learned didn't come in a few 'quick tips' but allot of strain, struggle and sacrifice.
There's only 'quick tip' that I can advise anyone to do that will massively improve their success with women would be meditation. All the things I mention -leaning cold approach, meditation, building a lifestyle- require substantial mental effort and day after day consistancy.
If you're interested in learning this, go onto my site and watch the infield footage of me meeting chicks. Then check out the guides on how you can get started.

[clueless_one]

This is on my own post but I would like to know if you could help me also…

At first she never spoke to me. Then all of a sudden she started speaking to me a heap. We were given sheets of information, my sheet had the same information as hers and she stood really close to me and her arm was touching mine and it almost felt as if she was looking at my information but it was the same as what she had.

When at a group event, I said hi to her and she replied shyly back. She also seemed to be taking notice of my clothes putting my attention on what I was wearing, saying what it said on my shirt. Later, she asked me to pass her a drink to her which was out of her reach, I got it and instead of giving it to her, I filled her cup also. When she was sitting down next to me, she was sitting close to me again to the point she was brushing her arm against mine. She also knocked her leg on mine and said sorry which wasn't needed.

At the event we played a game and she was in the opposition team, and every time she saw me, she followed me and was almost always in my area and was laughing whenever next to me when playing the game.

After the game, she seemed to be around in my area and was talking to me a lot again.

But when she was around her parents she grew quiet and didn't talk but whenever I looked at her, she looked at me and gave a slight smile and was glancing away slowly.

On her birthday, I wished her over Facebook private message with a simple "happy birthday [name] (:", I only expected a "thanks" reply, but she replied saying "hehe thanks [my name]". This got me confused as to what she meant when saying "hehe"

So, what does the "hehe" mean on her reply message to me?
Is she interested in me or is she just acting extremely friendly?

[goundy]

This is on my own post but I would like to know if you could help me also…

At first she never spoke to me. Then all of a sudden she started speaking to me a heap. We were given sheets of information, my sheet had the same information as hers and she stood really close to me and her arm was touching mine and it almost felt as if she was looking at my information but it was the same as what she had.

When at a group event, I said hi to her and she replied shyly back. She also seemed to be taking notice of my clothes putting my attention on what I was wearing, saying what it said on my shirt. Later, she asked me to pass her a drink to her which was out of her reach, I got it and instead of giving it to her, I filled her cup also. When she was sitting down next to me, she was sitting close to me again to the point she was brushing her arm against mine. She also knocked her leg on mine and said sorry which wasn't needed.

At the event we played a game and she was in the opposition team, and every time she saw me, she followed me and was almost always in my area and was laughing whenever next to me when playing the game.

After the game, she seemed to be around in my area and was talking to me a lot again.

But when she was around her parents she grew quiet and didn't talk but whenever I looked at her, she looked at me and gave a slight smile and was glancing away slowly.

On her birthday, I wished her over Facebook private message with a simple "happy birthday [name] (:", I only expected a "thanks" reply, but she replied saying "hehe thanks [my name]". This got me confused as to what she meant when saying "hehe"

So, what does the "hehe" mean on her reply message to me?
Is she interested in me or is she just acting extremely friendly?

Ughhh. It sounds like you're reading into things way to much. When I was at a young age like I'm assuming you are, my social interactions with girls were limited to things like what you're talking about; your arm brushing against hers, catching a girl looking at you etc.

Despite this I did know that reading into this kind of information is really creepy and over thinking these kinds of things will make you crazy - I suggest you stop looking into things with a microscrope.
Chances are she does like you; not because of anything you said but simply because of the fact that you are a girl and she is a guy. What you need to do is actually take a step in the direction you want to go. Brushing your arm against hers isn't going to get you very far so actually start talking to her. Never focus on weather a girl like you or not. Reason being is that allot of girls (teenagers) aren't overt in their liking of someone; mainly due to shyness.
Simply focus on building a connection with her and after you guys are friends, ask her out.

I wrote this guide on building a connection (http://goundy.com/?p=592) and this other guide on how to secure a date.
(http://goundy.com/?p=463)
Good luck. :)

[clueless_one]

Ughhh. It sounds like you're reading into things way to much. When I was at a young age like I'm assuming you are, my social interactions with girls were limited to things like what you're talking about; your arm brushing against hers, catching a girl looking at you etc.

Despite this I did know that reading into this kind of information is really creepy and over thinking these kinds of things will make you crazy - I suggest you stop looking into things with a microscrope.
Chances are she does like you; not because of anything you said but simply because of the fact that you are a girl and she is a guy. What you need to do is actually take a step in the direction you want to go. Brushing your arm against hers isn't going to get you very far so actually start talking to her. Never focus on weather a girl like you or not. Reason being is that allot of girls (teenagers) aren't overt in their liking of someone; mainly due to shyness.
Simply focus on building a connection with her and after you guys are friends, ask her out.

I wrote this guide on building a connection (http://goundy.com/?p=592) and this other guide on how to secure a date.
(http://goundy.com/?p=463)
Good luck. :)

I've actually had conversations with her a little and am starting to feel connections with her. I met up with her and some guys and the guys seemed to be annoying her and I was looking at them and telling the guys to stop because its annoying this girl. I think she is starting to look at me as a nice and caring guy towards girls. Not sure if that means anything.

I already know about connections (having conversations) and how to secure a date… Do you have anything about body language that shows if she likes me or if she is just friendly?

[Jose26282]

I have a question, I'm a junior in high school and I've been friends with this girl for about 4 months now. She's told mentioned to a friend that I was cute about 3 times and she said the she likes the way I walk. I want to ask her out but I'm pretty shy. We talk some but not a lot, I'd like to get to know her better. My friend says to get her a rose on valentine's day, does this seem like a good idea? Does it seems like she likes me and is waiting for me to make a move?

[goundy]

I've actually had conversations with her a little and am starting to feel connections with her. I met up with her and some guys and the guys seemed to be annoying her and I was looking at them and telling the guys to stop because its annoying this girl. I think she is starting to look at me as a nice and caring guy towards girls. Not sure if that means anything.

I already know about connections (having conversations) and how to secure a date… Do you have anything about body language that shows if she likes me or if she is just friendly?

From what it sounds like, there is no connection between you two at all. You need to proactively get into a position where you can talk to her in private and have a connection. Little conversation here and there isn't going to do anything and 'being seen as caring towards girls' might be nice but again, it isn't going to get you anywhere at all in the long run. You need to get her in private.

Like I said before, don't worry about weather she likes you or not - it's really unimportant. I mean afterall, how could she really like you if she hardly knows you. You need to focus on building conversations and getting a date - everything besides this is pointless.

Wanting a girl to like you is the epitome of ego gratification. Reason is if you aren't taking action to get the girl but you find out she likes you, you will initially feel good but in the end she won't be your girlfriend, you won't get laid, you won't get shit; it doesn't make a difference as to weather she likes you or not. If you sit on your hands for too long, someone else is going to ask her out or she'll lose interest in you if she has any at all.

I hope that helps you bud :)

Jose26282 - Like I was saying to 'The_One'. There is no reason why she wouldn't like you, especially if you are friends. Men and women are magnetized together. The same sexual tension you feel when you see a girl is the same a girl feels when she sees you. You should totally ask her out but it would help if you got to know eachother better first.

The main reason she might turn you down is becuse if you don't get to know her before hand, she will view it as a weakness in your character and if you are too shy and unconfident when your just friends, then it probably won't change when you are boyfriend and girlfriend and she will see that it will be a bad relationship.
If you want to ask her out succesfully, you should already be doing things that you would be doing if you were in a relationship. Touch her more in playful ways, flirt with her, be sexual, tease her, gaze into her eyes, say cute things to her.
In my case, it's very easy for a girl to date me because from the second I meet her, I'm very sexual, flirty, talk deep things, playful and cute with her. She sees me as a sexworthy, fun guy who will give her a wide range of emotions that will make our experience together really romantic and emotionally rewarding.

In contrast, if I don't talk to her much, am not playful, am not flirt and all the other things I mentioned, why would she see a relationship with me as emotionally rewarding? Therefore she wouldn't say yes if I asked her out. This makes sense.

So if you want her to say yes when you ask her out, amp it up by doing all the things I said. Yes, buying a rose would be a good start.

[clueless_one]

From what it sounds like, there is no connection between you two at all. You need to proactively get into a position where you can talk to her in private and have a connection. Little conversation here and there isn't going to do anything and 'being seen as caring towards girls' might be nice but again, it isn't going to get you anywhere at all in the long run. You need to get her in private.

Like I said before, don't worry about weather she likes you or not - it's really unimportant. I mean afterall, how could she really like you if she hardly knows you. You need to focus on building conversations and getting a date - everything besides this is pointless.

Wanting a girl to like you is the epitome of ego gratification. Reason is if you aren't taking action to get the girl but you find out she likes you, you will initially feel good but in the end she won't be your girlfriend, you won't get laid, you won't get shit; it doesn't make a difference as to weather she likes you or not. If you sit on your hands for too long, someone else is going to ask her out or she'll lose interest in you if she has any at all.

I hope that helps you bud :)

Jose26282 - Like I was saying to 'The_One'. There is no reason why she wouldn't like you, especially if you are friends. Men and women are magnetized together. The same sexual tension you feel when you see a girl is the same a girl feels when she sees you. You should totally ask her out but it would help if you got to know eachother better first.

The main reason she might turn you down is becuse if you don't get to know her before hand, she will view it as a weakness in your character and if you are too shy and unconfident when your just friends, then it probably won't change when you are boyfriend and girlfriend and she will see that it will be a bad relationship.
If you want to ask her out succesfully, you should already be doing things that you would be doing if you were in a relationship. Touch her more in playful ways, flirt with her, be sexual, tease her, gaze into her eyes, say cute things to her.
In my case, it's very easy for a girl to date me because from the second I meet her, I'm very sexual, flirty, talk deep things, playful and cute with her. She sees me as a sexworthy, fun guy who will give her a wide range of emotions that will make our experience together really romantic and emotionally rewarding.

In contrast, if I don't talk to her much, am not playful, am not flirt and all the other things I mentioned, why would she see a relationship with me as emotionally rewarding? Therefore she wouldn't say yes if I asked her out. This makes sense.

So if you want her to say yes when you ask her out, amp it up by doing all the things I said. Yes, buying a rose would be a good start.

You think the only reason with a girlfriend is to get laid… People like you make me sick, treating girls like sex toys. What the hell is wrong with you, girls need to be respected.

By the way… many people who are shy and need help in relationships have difficulties in doing these things.

[goundy]

You think the only reason with a girlfriend is to get laid… People like you make me sick, treating girls like sex toys. What the hell is wrong with you, girls need to be respected.

By the way… many people who are shy and need help in relationships have difficulties in doing these things.

Bro... I simply mentioned sex as part of dating and a relationships, I didn't emphasis it at all like you are claiming. You completely ignored my answer to you just so you can rant on your medieval values.

Sex has nothing to do with disrespect. This is a highly immature viewpoint that has been brainwashed upon you by your apparently conservative upbringing. Don't force condemnation upon those who don't share your viewpoints.

"By the way… many people who are shy and need help in relationships have difficulties in doing these things."

I'm giving you solid advice but it's clear you have no intention of carrying out my suggestions or have any open mindedness to what I am saying.
In life, if you are lucky enough to meet someone who has been in the same position as you, risen above similar adverse circumstances, has more knowlege and life experience than you and is willing to share it for your benefit, don't get on a moral high horse and be close minded.
If you want to continue to be a baby who gets the same shitty results he always has, then continue what you are doing. If not, take what I say (with a grain of salt of course) and actually try it.

[clueless_one]

Bro... I simply mentioned sex as part of dating and a relationships, I didn't emphasis it at all like you are claiming. You completely ignored my answer to you just so you can rant on your medieval values.

Sex has nothing to do with disrespect. This is a highly immature viewpoint that has been brainwashed upon you by your apparently conservative upbringing. Don't force condemnation upon those who don't share your viewpoints.

"By the way… many people who are shy and need help in relationships have difficulties in doing these things."

I'm giving you solid advice but it's clear you have no intention of carrying out my suggestions or have any open mindedness to what I am saying.
In life, if you are lucky enough to meet someone who has been in the same position as you, risen above similar adverse circumstances, has more knowlege and life experience than you and is willing to share it for your benefit, don't get on a moral high horse and be close minded.
If you want to continue to be a baby who gets the same shitty results he always has, then continue what you are doing. If not, take what I say (with a grain of salt of course) and actually try it.

So your saying there is something wrong with the way i'm brought up…:mad:

I'm an only child… Lets just say only children are more mature than people like you, who have others who teach you to be disrespectful. RESPECTFULNESS IS KEY…

And to think you will be able to help me at all. F this… I will just do what ever I say. I feel like I have no friends, and my aim is to keep these friends including the girls I like. Looks like I will just continue and f up my life with losing friends and continue feeling like I'm not liked at all. :cry:

[Living For Love]

You shouldn't create one thread only for the sole purpose of "advertising" your abilities as a professional dating coach. You want to help people, that's ok, but don't do it this way, there are a lot of threads here with people asking for help related to relationships and dating, you just need to search. Therefore :locked: