I just can't

[Axw_JD]

I can't go on, I don't have the strength... I am tired of everything, of being so useless and worthless, of being the leftovers that are nice when there's nothing else but are just an annoyance otherwise, I can't deal with any of this anymore.

The self-harming, the desperate pleas for help that nobody gives a fuck about, the endless nights crying, the fake smile I put up knowing that nobody cares anyways... it all has to stop. It won't get better, if anything changes its always for the worse, there's no point to this.

I was an idiot to think that I could have a friend, that someone who has no moral obligation to give a fuck about me would. I was also an idiot to believe I could be good at something, that I could make it, just to have reality hit me as hard as it can in the face to show me how useless I am...

I'm tired of all this, I just wanna say goodbye, fall asleep and never wake up. Nobody would miss me, plenty of people would be happy without me, and I wouldn't have to feel miserable a single day anymore. Being unable to feel anything at all would be an upgrade to this, anything would.

[the_dude69]

Are you looking for me to help you or are you looking for someone who will tell you how special you really are and that it will be okay?

[Sykes08]

Aww calm down, People do care you just have to show people what you are about :). How come you are so upset? Have you had problems when you were younger? Throughout life you will meet many people who use you when they need you and throw you away. That is just some people for you, I found that out long ago. But life is worth living in waiting for them good friends you will make that always have your back!

It will always get better :), you just have to stick at it and be mentally strong. Try to aim that anger and upsetness into improving, social life terms and professionally. Theres a place for all of us in this world :) its just about finding out who you are :). We are all on this planet to add something to it. Maybe volunteering would help you feel happy about yourself, and you would meet people who are very appreciative of your work! :)

[DarkOmega]

I seriously had and sometimes still have the same thoughts as you .but I found out something to do to forget .my escape is playing games and talking to people on teamspeak about the game . your escape might be playing a sports .listening to music .joining a club where everybody has the same interest as you ,or anything that makes you fell better . and that way you can make friends that have common interests . or the exact interest as you , I know that its hard . it was hard for me also to make friends .especially moving from Europe to U.S and not speaking the language at all .that was 5 years ago .. but take it from me if you want . joining something or doing something that you like and meeting people that have the same interest as you .will make you find friends so much easier .most of the times without even knowing that you actually became friends .it will just happen

[Axw_JD]

No it won't. Sticking at it and pretending to be strong just brings pain, being taken for granted, used, etc. Nobody gives a fuck, unless someone needs something from me I might as well not exist and I'm fucking fed up with it. It isn't worth it, all the pain and tears aren't worth the 5 seconds of happiness that might or might not ever happen. Being a good person and a good friend is never worth it because people just use you, and not being like that makes you no friends either. Some people were just meant to be alone, and I am not willing to live like that.