I'm confused :(

[tyler1818]

So I'm confused! I love women everything about them! But when I was younger like 11-14 my best friend invited me to his house and after a while we started playing truth or dare, he dared me to suck him off so I did even though I didn't know what that was then almost every weekend he would always invite me to stay the night so I would, he would always want to get naked and jack each other off and suck off, I didn't like it but he always threatened me so I would he told me pretend it was a girl doing it to me or something then he would ask for nudes from me and if I didn't send them he would beat me up and tel people, he would get me naked and rape me anally then after I couple years I thought I loved him because it lasted so long but he would always be mean to me try and fight me when I wasn't at his house or anything. At what I'm asking is was it rape because I didn't like it at first at all and am I bi because I don't like guys I mean I'll compare sizes but that's it I love women and the only guy I think bout is him! Help me!:(

[BeyondOne]

Yes, that is. You didn't want to do it willingly, you should have told somebody about it. He was threatening you dude :/ I'm sorry that happened to you.

[Living For Love]

That definitely seems abuse. Just back off from him, if you did it because he forced you, and not because you wanted or had the desire to do it, then you're not gay or bi, don't worry. And don't hesitate telling about this to something you trust in case he tries to force you to do that kind of stuff again.

[Carson99]

Walk away from him, not because of the abuse, but because nobody needs to be threatened, certainly not by a good friend. Lose him and get on with your life, whatever it is. If he ever wisens up and attones for his attitude, give it a chance, but normally people don't change. Making it into a rape legally would open doors for both of you that you don't want opened.

[MortimerB]

I feel sorry for you. Such a things should never happen. Especially if he threatens you. Your emotions are obviously in turmoil, as you've experienced something so drastic with a boy. I think you should just push your friend aside and stop seeing him. Although this is perhaps against what you feel, someone who threatens you shouldn't be your friend - and definitely not anything more. Best of luck, mate.

PS: Some dots might help your posts on the way. Were having trouble reading, what you wrote at first. ;)

[DeletedAccount123]

I didn't like it but he always threatened me so I would he told me pretend it was a girl doing it to me or something then he would ask for nudes from me and if I didn't send them he would beat me up and tel people, he would get me naked and rape me anally then after I couple years I thought I loved him because it lasted so long but he would always be mean to me try and fight me when I wasn't at his house or anything.

There is nothing to be confused about: he abused you. You even say he raped you -- oh my god, that's horrible. :( But don't worry, you'll get past it.

Don't be confused. This doesn't sound like any kind of experimentation whatsoever. From what you've said, it sounds like he committed a horrific crime against you. I'd recommend getting your parents and the police involved.

[Cjk_20]

Yes that is. That is definitely rape. You need to tell someone right away!