I dont know what to do...

[Idontknow123]

I get it now, feeling nothing is so much easier than dealing with my emotions, i can sit there and feel absolutely nothing, i can cut myself and still feel nothing. The blood gives me no sense of emotion. Im done with caring about what others think of me. Im done with dealing with stupid cunts who just fuck you over. Im done. Im done. I simply cant do this anymore, i cant be dragged into situations that i have no control over. i cut because i think i deserve it. i physically cant help it its like my body is taken over, i know that sounds stupid and i even tell myself NO don't do it. but it wont listen it just picks up the razor blade and starts and once you start its so hard to stop. I hadn't cut in months until wast night. now i'm covered in blood and tears and i still feel nothing. can you understand that? I must sound like a psycho and believe me i think i am to…i don't WANT to be like this, i don't want people to know what im really like. I don't know whats wrong with me and im to scared to get any help, if i went to the doctors what would i say? Oh yeah i think im depressed, or have bipolar. they'd think i was some attention seeking whore. which im not. please don't think i am…this is why i don't talk to people about any of my emotions because people start to think that your lying just to get attention when really all i need is someones support. But from last night iv'e fucked everything up, my scars where fading and i was really happy…no i have to go and see this guy iv'e been seeing and he will see the cuts, he didn't know i had ever before and he's going to think im sooo stupid just like i do. I don't know what else to say i just thought that writing it all down would help me out but what should i do with it now?...

[King_of_Hearts]

Okay. First off, you're not a psycho, but rather someone who has strayed off their path and lost control. Your body has taken over in a way. It sees the cutting and the blood as a release and uses them as such. If you did go to the doctor, tell them the truth. Tell them what is going on and they will help you out, not judge you. It is their job to help you. In regards to the guy you are seeing, if you trust him enough to tell him the truth, tell him. It shows you want help and that you trust him. If you both have strong feelings for each other, he won't react badly. He might be worried, but thats about it. So if you need anymore advice or need to vent or just need support, I am always around for you :) Good luck with your troubles.

[MarcPierre]

Sometime we are doing work or playing a game and we do not recognize about that work or game and we are going to play and play then any person told at that time we say to him i do not know what to do.

[CostumerServiceGuy]

Just remain calm.. go see a physiotherapist, or a physiologist. They'll sort ya out!

[XENON]

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF!
You said it yourself that you've gone clean for months, relapsing once every now and then doesn't mean your weak, it doesn't mean you're stupid either.
It means you're human, we all have our ups and downs, you just need to learn to deal with them.
That one night you couldn't handle it anymore, doesn't have to extend into your whole life, give yourself a break from any negative influences, spend some time with yourself, then start another "clean session" for a week, once you've done it, go for another, then another, till you finish a month, once you're there you'll realize you can do it again, you can stay strong, just try to gain control.
And for the guy you're seeing, I agree with what Cole said.