i am a self destructive, possessive crazy person in my relationship help

[catsinteacups]

I'm super insecure in my relationship. I'm worried my bf will find someone else he would rather be with because they either have more in common or because they're more attractive. I brought it up to him and he reassured me, saying he loves me.
In a past relationship, I was broken up with and the ex dated another girl almost immediately after maybe that's why I have this fear of being left or cheated on?
I get jealous if my current bf is extra friendly to female friends or if he even brings them up in conversation which is stupid I just worry he'd like them better than me especially since now they can see him everyday since they all go to the same college and I dont so I can't see him often. I thought he was checking out another girl tonight and I wanted to cry.
He is a great guy though, loyal and always there for me but I don't know how to shake this feeling of being undesirable and believing he will ultimately leave me for someone better. I get jealous if he sees a chick with big boobs or whatever I hate myself I want to cry and live in a hole forever. I feel like I bring up my worries about other girls way too often to him so I don't want to talk to him about this. Rant over.

[WeAreOneRepublic]

If he is with you and he has reassured you then be must have feelings for you. He is unlikely to dump you for another girl and if he does and gives a bad reason then it will look bad on him. Not too much I can say on this sorry. You just have to trust him and not be so nervous

[hoboliz]

Confidence is the most attractive trait of all.

[chieko]

Hey! You are NOT self-destructive, possessive and crazy person. Maybe just a little insecure? Jealousy is normal in a relationship. Being jealous and insecure can happen from time to time, but I see that in your case it doesn't make any good at all. I think this feelings may lead to unhealthy relationship and cause a disaster. So stop thinking about these things and that he will leave you. I understand that you're just afraid because of what happened in the past but think positive. Your boyfriend and your ex are not the same person.

If you continue being jealous you will not be happy. You should control your insecurity and start changing the way you react to your thoughts. Just think that you have something special because you're his girlfriend. He chose you for a reason and you've got the thing that he doesn't share to anyone. He wouldn't be with you in the first place if he knows he'll like other girls. Just be thankful for that and TRUST. Try to be befriends to these friends that he has. If he brings them up in a conversation it means you've got nothing to fear of because if there is really something to get you jealous he'll not talk about it. If you love him, you'll trust him and build your own self-esteem :)

[catsinteacups]

Thank you guys, it gets hard especially because we can't see each other often (we live an hour plus away) but I have to get over it and deal with it.