iceyd
January 13th, 2014, 12:33 PM
Hello , lately i have been having a hard time , i am mainly confused about my sexuality therefore i seek your guys help and experience to clear my mind. From the beginning of middle school i have been watching straight and gay porn ( but gay porn more ) , which starts off with questioning my sexuality. But nevertheless i had many girls throughout my 16 years. Im generally physically more attracted to men than women but i do get hard also with girls (eventhough sometimes i do not ). So the situation lately has been quite confusing. I have a girlfriend , but i do not know what i feel for her, i mean i do not have that huge crush but i do think I like her. Everything went fine until i went to sleep at one of my bestfriends house, we w'ere kind of tipsy and we chatting as we do normally late at night. So what happened : my friend confessed that he was bisex for a couple of years and then turned straight again , i mean i felt comforted no one knew that sometimes i was more attracted to guys than girls. I confessed about my curiosity and then we started getting closer until we kissed.. We got a little intimate and made out until 4 am. We promised that this action would not compromise our frienship and it didn't , in fact the next day everything was all normal. Before going out with our girlfriends ( yes he is also in a realtion ship )we kissed again but always as friends i think. Whilst waiting for the two girls to arrive i confessed to him that i was scared , i mean i literally really liked what has happened but i fear that i won't feel anything for girls anymore and i really want to have strong feelings for a girl. He also replied that he was scared and he stated that he has a crush on his girlfriend ( which i don't ) , saying that he doesen't know if he liked it or not and concluded by saying that for him it would be better if this thing stopped for a while. But if in the future it happens again he said it wouldn't be a problem. Now comes the problem , my girlfriend doest make me hard as much as he does , i know i dont have feelings for him but its just uncontrollable. It feels so strange i mean i don't want to be like this , me and my friends have nothing against bisexuality but i want to fall in love ect with a girl , i don't want a man , I just don't. My girlfriend only when we get very intimate erects me whilst my best friend just takes literally seconds just to turn me on. Im so confused i really don't want to be like this. I want this curiosity just to remain between me and him and not to get attracted with other males. I feel what so ever no feelings for him , just flashbacks of that night and the next day which make me feel happy/comforted. Can someone give me some advice to balance my sexuality , or even things i can do to help me restrict the attraction i have for men? I have had strong feelings for girls and do get turned on by them but i want my sexuality to be mainly centered to women. Thank you guys so so much just by even reading this thread..