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View Full Version : Extremely concerned about my best friend.


hpq666
January 12th, 2014, 10:54 PM
In the past year or two, I have become very good friends with this girl (for security purposes I will call her S). S and I first became friends last year when we had an art class together. Our teacher gave us a plethora of free time, so that left us litterally hours every other day to just talk. We bonded over music as well as drugs. I smoked pot semi-regularly, while s, at the time did harder drugs.

As many of you know, drug users often have some sort of mental illness's. We would often share and comfort eachother about our struggles with anxiety, depression, and mental illness in general. As time has passed and we have got to know eachother better, I have learned that S has had a very traumatic past.The summer before we met eachother, S started to do heroin regularly. As time has gone on she has swayed in and out of addiction. As well as "dabling" in hard drugs, she also had a lot of sex. I do not know exactly how much but all I know is it was a lot. Recently I have found that S was raped/sexually abused multiple times. On top of that, she also has very bad panick attacks/anxiety and depression.

Currently, S is being drug tested by her parents so and relatively briefly before that she had been clean of all hard drugs and had just been smoking pot. But now that she is clean she is having a really hard time dealing with her mentall illness's. Although I have some anxiety and depression, it is not even close to the level hers is. I try to talk to her and understand her when she is upset but it is very hard for me becuase it just seems so foreign. She has anxiety attacks and flashbacks on an almost daily basis where I have them at most, bi-weekly.

The worst part about this situation is that, I really really love S. In fact, I would jump in front of a bus for her if that meant making her happy. Since her "cleaning up" she has just been in the dumps all the time. I have tried telling her that she can talk to me whenever she wants if shes sad and I will try and listen to her/cheer her up for as long as she needs. But she just bottles up all her sorrow and doesn't tell anyone. I am concerned that if she keeps doing this, that she will either end up commiting suicide (she has tried before) or being sent back to the psych ward.

I need advice about how I can do something about this whole situation? I know that if she doesn't want to share with me about her problems she doesn't have to but it is driving ME crazy seeing her go crazy. Please help me out.

abc983055235235231a
January 13th, 2014, 01:35 AM
It's really hard to help people who don't want to be helped. In certain cases, it seems like there's nothing we can do that won't end in disaster. I know from personal experience that it's often hard to talk to friends about your issues, even if you care about them a lot, even if you know that they care about you a lot, and even if you want to talk to them. And while I'm really anti-psychiatrist/psychologist for certain reasons, it might help S to start seeing a therapist, so that she has an opportunity to talk about these things, even if it's not to you.

ausley
January 13th, 2014, 02:37 AM
If I was you friend I would just want someone to be there. Even if she bottles it up and doesn't talk to you about what's on her mind just be around her and give her your ayttention more. Ask her to do things go places to get her mind off everything. Visit her talk to her and hang with her as much as you can. In this situation you don't want her to be alone for extended because that gives her to much time to think about things like suicide or anything like that.

Katiya
January 13th, 2014, 02:38 AM
Wow. That's really sweet of you to be there for her. She has to get a handle on that shit on her own. So you should support her as much as you can. From experience no one can fix her problems but her. She will get it together, but it may be months or years down the road. And a caring friend like you is very important.

It may help her to talk with a therapist. But a good one as most of them suck. So if it doesn't work have her try new ones till she finds a good one.

Being in the same place with traumas of my own I can say its an extremely hard place to be in and even harder to get out. For me it has been a long battle that is not over. I deal with it by moving forward 100miles an hour all the time. So I don't spend much time reflecting and If I'm.intensely doing something flash backs don't come as much. Keep her bussy all the time. Have her do things with you or others. Thinks she likes. That could help tremendously.

Being a person who holds all of that shit in until I explode months down the road. Finding releases through sports or other physical activity help me with aggression so I don't get to a breaking point so fast.

You want to have her avoid situations that stress her as these make everything MUCH worse! So if there's stressful situations encourage her to leave them behind. Just keep helping like you are and likely she will eventually open up to you and confide in you more rather than hold it all in. This takes time time time! Patience is key. It takes me an Extremely long time to trust due to my past. So I imagine she feels Mich the same.

I hope this can help you and her in some way. :)

Katiya
January 13th, 2014, 02:39 AM
Wow. That's really sweet of you to be there for her. She has to get a handle on that shit on her own. So you should support her as much as you can. From experience no one can fix her problems but her. She will get it together, but it may be months or years down the road. And a caring friend like you is very important.

It may help her to talk with a therapist. But a good one as most of them suck. So if it doesn't work have her try new ones till she finds a good one.

Being in the same place with traumas of my own I can say its an extremely hard place to be in and even harder to get out. For me it has been a long battle that is not over. I deal with it by moving forward 100miles an hour all the time. So I don't spend much time reflecting and If I'm.intensely doing something flash backs don't come as much. Keep her bussy all the time. Have her do things with you or others. Thinks she likes. That could help tremendously.

Being a person who holds all of that shit in until I explode months down the road. Finding releases through sports or other physical activity help me with aggression so I don't get to a breaking point so fast.

You want to have her avoid situations that stress her as these make everything MUCH worse! So if there's stressful situations encourage her to leave them behind. Just keep helping like you are and likely she will eventually open up to you and confide in you more rather than hold it all in. This takes time time time! Patience is key. It takes me an Extremely long time to trust due to my past. So I imagine she feels Mich the same.

I hope this can help you and her in some way. :)

Katiya
January 13th, 2014, 02:40 AM
Rats! Browser glitch! Ugh ignore the double :S