i used to like this guy...

[billybigfish]

so a couple of years ago i was friends with this guy, we had been friends for years and we were quite close, this was the sorta time that i was coming out but he didnt know at the time, so one day i decided to text him, and tell him about my sexuality, he was cool with it and stuff, and i started talking to him about it and he really understood me and stuff, then we started to spend time with each other an i started to like him, baring in mind that he was straight i didnt tll him cause i didnt know how he'd react, so we continued getting close, until around nov in 2011, my parents were out for the weekend and i asked him to stay over so he did, and we had a really good night, we played xbox and just had a good time, but, the next day when he went home, i messaged him and asked if he would stay over again soon, for some strange reason he said that he was alright... persuming that something had happened to him i didnt speak to him for a couple of days, until one day when my best friend came to my house with his gf and we went out in the village. we were bored so i asked this guy and a couple of others to come out, which he did. he ignored me for the whole day, even when i tried to ask what was going on, when i got home i message him what had happened and he didnt reply, so i decided that it was time to tell him that i liked him, so i did... he said that he already knew and thats why he was acting weird, then he sent me a really long message basically telling me to kill myself and that i was a disgusting piece of s***... i didnt know how to respond so i ignored him... the next couple of months i received more and more messages from his friends all sayin the same sort of thing, and this happened for about 3 months over text, to my face, and over fb, i was even chased home by him and his friends who tried to beat me up when it snowed one day and we were sent home... to this day i still hate myself for telling him, but, i dont hate him for it... but i feel like i should. everyone who isnt friends with him tells me how wrong it was of him... and on boxing day he sent me a friend request on fb and asked me if i wanted to come out in the village, i feel like i want to be friends again but not sure... what should i do???? (wanna know any other details thehn drop me a pm)

[Stryker125]

First off I'm sorry this happened to you. You shouldn't hate yourself for telling him. And even though what he did was wrong, and he didn't treat you very well at all, you shouldn't nessicarly hate him either. Not because he wouldn't deserve it, just because hate doesn't really do anyone any good.

as far as being friends with him again, that's up to you. I'm all for forgiveness and second chances, but the things he did to you sound kinda severe. He could just be trying to trick you into some opportunity to try and hurt you again, and that wouldn't be good. I'd say if you really want to, just accept his facebook request and see where that goes. Tell him you don't really hang out with him, at least not yet. If he's serious about being your friend, he'll understand. Also, if you do decide to go hang out with him, I'd say you shouldn't go alone. Go with a friend you can trust, just in case this guy tries anything again.

Hope I helped.

[billybigfish]

First off I'm sorry this happened to you. You shouldn't hate yourself for telling him. And even though what he did was wrong, and he didn't treat you very well at all, you shouldn't nessicarly hate him either. Not because he wouldn't deserve it, just because hate doesn't really do anyone any good.

as far as being friends with him again, that's up to you. I'm all for forgiveness and second chances, but the things he did to you sound kinda severe. He could just be trying to trick you into some opportunity to try and hurt you again, and that wouldn't be good. I'd say if you really want to, just accept his facebook request and see where that goes. Tell him you don't really hang out with him, at least not yet. If he's serious about being your friend, he'll understand. Also, if you do decide to go hang out with him, I'd say you shouldn't go alone. Go with a friend you can trust, just in case this guy tries anything again.

Hope I helped.

yeah man that makes sense, although, hes always been a trust worthy person, i told him a lot about myself and he hasnt told anyone even after that, also, he was completely fine with me coming out so i dont think he has a reason to hate me for that, i can understand what you're saying, you've helped a lot

[AlexOnToast]

First off I'm sorry this happened to you. You shouldn't hate yourself for telling him. And even though what he did was wrong, and he didn't treat you very well at all, you shouldn't nessicarly hate him either. Not because he wouldn't deserve it, just because hate doesn't really do anyone any good.

as far as being friends with him again, that's up to you. I'm all for forgiveness and second chances, but the things he did to you sound kinda severe. He could just be trying to trick you into some opportunity to try and hurt you again, and that wouldn't be good. I'd say if you really want to, just accept his facebook request and see where that goes. Tell him you don't really hang out with him, at least not yet. If he's serious about being your friend, he'll understand. Also, if you do decide to go hang out with him, I'd say you shouldn't go alone. Go with a friend you can trust, just in case this guy tries anything again.

Hope I helped.

My EXACT thoughts....Thank you sir for saving me a large and cummbersome paragraph, and well put.
Billy, I'm sorry you had to go through this, I wish you all the best

[billybigfish]

My EXACT thoughts....Thank you sir for saving me a large and cummbersome paragraph, and well put.
Billy, I'm sorry you had to go through this, I wish you all the best
THANK YOU DUDES! honestly it means a lot for you guys to understand!

[ksdnfkfr]

yeah man that makes sense, although, hes always been a trust worthy person, i told him a lot about myself and he hasnt told anyone even after that, also, he was completely fine with me coming out so i dont think he has a reason to hate me for that

That seems to go against what you originally posted. So I am confused.
My first thought from the original post was that he lost trustworthiness
by telling you thing like you should kill yourself and told some friends and
then they all terrorized you for months.
Go ahead and forgive him, but I would not have anything to do with him.

[billybigfish]

That seems to go against what you originally posted.

explain?...

[ksdnfkfr]

explain?...

I thought I already did explain why I was confused.

he sent me a really long message basically telling me to kill myself and that i was a disgusting piece of s***... i didnt know how to respond so i ignored him... the next couple of months i received more and more messages from his friends all sayin the same sort of thing, and this happened for about 3 months over text, to my face, and over fb, i was even chased home by him and his friends who tried to beat me up when it snowed one day and we were sent home... to this day i still hate myself for telling him, but, i dont hate him for it... but i feel like i should. everyone who isnt friends with him tells me how wrong it was of him...
hes always been a trust worthy person, i told him a lot about myself and he hasnt told anyone even after that, also, he was completely fine with me coming out so i dont think he has a reason to hate me for that, i can understand what you're saying, you've helped a lot

Those two paragraphs just don't add up to me. Meaning you are the good person
in this almost to a fault and I am afraid he is just going to hurt you more.

[billybigfish]

I thought I already did explain why I was confused.
oh right, he abused me cause i liked him, not cause im gay

[ksdnfkfr]

oh right, he abused me cause i liked him, not cause im gay

I think it is pretty much the same thing.
It is like if I asked someone if it is 'ok if I am gay?' and they lie and say 'yes'.
Then I test it and say, 'well what if I liked you?' and then they say 'I would want to kill you for that'.

[billybigfish]

I think it is pretty much the same thing.
It is like if I asked someone if it is 'ok if I am gay?' and they lie and say 'yes'.
Then I test it and say, 'well what if I liked you?' and then they say 'I would want to kill you for that'.

i think its completely different tbf

[Living For Love]

You can accept his friend request, but in case you two meet up, I would ask him why he acted that way, when you told him you had feelings for him. I agree with you, one thing is knowing someone who's gay and other thing is knowing that he's not only gay but he's in love with you, for straight guys it can be complicated.

If you're decided to fix this friendship, make sure you are extremely careful. Even if you guys forgive each other, you shouldn't see him the same way you saw him before, so think twice before telling him some more details of your personal life from now on. Also, try to get friends with more people, people that really support you the way you are, and make sure he understands that, whatever happens, you won't forgive him so easily.

[Stryker125]

My EXACT thoughts....Thank you sir for saving me a large and cummbersome paragraph, and well put.
Billy, I'm sorry you had to go through this, I wish you all the best

You're quite welcome. That's my superpower. Writing long, clumsy paragraphs so you don't have to :P

[Stryker125]

i think its completely different tbf

I think you're missing what they were trying to say. Abuse is abuse, doesn't matter what his reasoning behind it was. Like I said before, being friends with him is completely up to you, but he should at least have to earn it.

[Carson99]

I think he owes you a lot better explanation than you are getting. To be friends again, to forgive him siding with a bunch of haters, he needs to explain himself. If he won't, you can do better. Just because you are capable of loving and forgiving, doesn't mean you should. Or that's how I would feel in a similar situation. I like myself too, and not going to belittle myself for anyone. Good luck.

[billybigfish]

I think he owes you a lot better explanation than you are getting. To be friends again, to forgive him siding with a bunch of haters, he needs to explain himself. If he won't, you can do better. Just because you are capable of loving and forgiving, doesn't mean you should. Or that's how I would feel in a similar situation. I like myself too, and not going to belittle myself for anyone. Good luck. oh my god this is the most perfect thing anyone has ever said, now someone has said that, I completely agree,
you have helped me so much, thank you