I think the time has come...

[sethieisbestie]

Im 13. I started doing meth almost a year ago when my best friends older brother asked us if we wanted to try it. Not wanting to be a loser I agreed to try some, and that is the start of the road that ends where I stand now. The first few months I was only doing it every other weekend. I enjoyed the experiences I was having with meth and I was happy. Another few months pass and at that point I was doing every weekend, and some weekdays. I'm having to do more and more than when I first started just to have the usual experiences I'm used to. Let's fast forward to this month. I'm doing meth minimum 5 days a week, using 8x as much as when I first started.

And with that we have reached my last experience. This was my first time using double the amount that I had used last time. (For those of you keeping track, that's 16x more than when I first started!) This time however, I didn't have my normal experiences, I had the scariest experience of my entire life.

It was clear from the beginning that something wasn't right. I start to see demons all around me. I try to run away but trip and fall to the floor. I roll over and there they are, standing over me holding knives. I start crying, pleading to them to let me ago. One of them takes the knife and cuts into my stomach and my blood comes rushing out. Another demon starts grabbing inside of me starts pulling out organs from inside of me. A third demon cuts open my ribs and rips my heart out of me. He eats it. Then suddenly the demons turn into spiders and quickly crawl off somewhere. I manage to get up and stumble over to Anthony's bed and wake him up and start freaking out at him. Then...nothing. I black out and don't remember anything about the rest of the night.

I wake the next morning to a barely younger brother Anthony(we are twins) crying over me, asking me to be OK and wake up. That moment when I saw him crying like that was the moment I decided I'm quitting meth. We talk for a while after and I assure him I am OK now.

And now here I am, posting this message, asking for advice. I want to quit, not for me, but for Anthony. I know that I'm for sure going to do it cold turkey, but I need advice on how to do. Going to rehab is out of the question. My parents will never know about this. Please if anybody has advice out there, tell me. I need it now more than ever.

-Seth

[RavleIncarnate]

I think that you should force yourself to think of Anthony's face when he found you like that every time you want to do it, and what your parents would look like and do if they found out. If you relapse, however, then mix something bitter that you do not like with the meth, like brussel sprouts or seafood or tomato sauce or broccoli for me. By doing that, you repress the pleasure and happy feelings you had, and you get some negative reinforcement too. Also, you could always vm me!

[Miri]

Good on you for deciding to quit. I don't really have any advice, but I wish you luck and success, and I'm happy that you found a good reason to quit. Hopefully all it will take was finding your reason.

[ninja789]

I think that you should force yourself to think of Anthony's face when he found you like that every time you want to do it, and what your parents would look like and do if they found out. If you relapse, however, then mix something bitter that you do not like with the meth, like brussel sprouts or seafood or tomato sauce or broccoli for me. By doing that, you repress the pleasure and happy feelings you had, and you get some negative reinforcement too. Also, you could always vm me!

I think that's fantastic advice
if honestly you want to overcome this and get on with your life then I am here if you need a chat aswell :)

[AlexOnToast]

I really hope it works out for you, and I'm here if you need someone :)

[RavleIncarnate]

Thanks, KateyWG. I never really get stuff like that in real life, so I post advice fr those that I am able to here. I am new to advising, though, normally I only advise my (rather small) circle of friends. But that builds my precious little confidence a lot, so thanks.

[sethieisbestie]

So you would think after everything that happened last time I did meth I would at least think twice before doing it again. But no. My friend Riley that I usually do it with(his brother was the one who originally offered meth to us) texted me this morning asking me to come over and do some with him. Not even thinking about my previous experience or my promise to Anthony that I would never do it again, I immediately went over. For the most part the high was how it normally is until near the end when I saw one of the demons again and started stabbing it with a knife, which turns out it was just large box.

Now Im home and Anthony have been asking me questions ever since I got back about where I was, and I keep having to lie to him because Im to ashamed to tell him the truth which I know will do nothing but hurt him.

Ive been thinking about this last year and I keep wondering how I let my life turn into the train wreck that it is now. Its honestly making me cry right now knowing how much of a screw up I am.

I think that you should force yourself to think of Anthony's face when he found you like that every time you want to do it, and what your parents would look like and do if they found out. If you relapse, however, then mix something bitter that you do not like with the meth, like brussel sprouts or seafood or tomato sauce or broccoli for me. By doing that, you repress the pleasure and happy feelings you had, and you get some negative reinforcement too. Also, you could always vm me!

I think this is good advice but the problem is when I want meth everything else in my life is like its not there. Its like my mind blocks out everything until I satisfy the need. You dont know how much I wish I could think about Anthony when I feel the need for meth. As for my parents, well thats a bit of a tricky subject. I like them(not love them, like them) and they can sometimes be fun to be around, but thats about it. Me and Anthony were an accident. They have told us this many times. Most of the time there off doing who knows what with their friends who a far more important than us. Dont get me wrong, they care about us just enough to always keep enough food in the house for us and spend at least a couple days with us a week. The only reason they would care if they found out I was doing meth is because what their friends would think about them and not so much the fact that Im doing it. Yes they would probably punish me for it and make me quit, but for the wrong reasons.

Good on you for deciding to quit. I don't really have any advice, but I wish you luck and success, and I'm happy that you found a good reason to quit. Hopefully all it will take was finding your reason.

Thanks for the encouragement(think thats spelt right). I wish finding the reason to quit is all it takes to, but for I dont think its going to be that easy.

I think that's fantastic advice
if honestly you want to overcome this and get on with your life then I am here if you need a chat aswell :)

Thanks. Really I want to overcome this addiction, but thats easier said than done.

I really hope it works out for you, and I'm here if you need someone :)

Thanks, just might take you up on that offer.

[RavleIncarnate]

Okay, well, I'm always there for an ear. Wanna friend me? It'll help with my resolutions!

Any way other, here's some stuff from Wikihow:

Know the truth. Meth is a degenerative substance, meaning you will progressively wither away into a skeleton, and then die a horrible death at its hands. The worst part is that the drug doesn't care or feel; it's a merciless killer and it will do its job.

Get rid of any remaining traces of the stuff. Do a clean sweep of your house -make sure it's all gone. Leave nothing left, not even a molecule!

Be realistic. Do not assume that you're so tough you can take it all on your own and that your recovery is something you should do alone. Recovery will take a long time, and if you're an addict trying to kick a bad habit, being alone a lot is just begging for trouble. Keep family and friends close, but if you had specific friends who convinced you to do meth, you may not want to invite them. At all.

Be open about it. Gather the good friends and family members who you love and tell them everything. Tell them how the addiction started. That part will not be easy, so get it done first. After that is out of the way, emphasize on letting them know how much you love/care for them.

Relive good memories. Once you get most of that out of the way, sit around visit with everyone, reminisce on the good times you had long ago, remember only the good, it's the best thing to remember. Order yourselves a pizza with extra whatever, enjoy life because it's too short to hate and waste on drugs.

Anyway, I left some out because my phone can only take so much at a time. But listen to that stuffies above this. And by the way, I advise you to never speak to your friend that gave it to you ever again. Delete all numbers, ignore all calls, don't even read his messages. Dont speak to him at school. If he comes and asks why, say that you're ignoring him because he ruined your life. Format him off and out of your life completely. Burn the meth. All of it. Never, ever, ever, take more again. If you absolutely positively need to take it, take a portion smaller than ever before. Make sure its small enough to make you not see the hallucinations. Make sure to do everything in your right mind's power to destroy the habit. Tear it apart, let it die on the ground. Shrivel it up and stick it with a pitchfork. Make it horrible.

[sethieisbestie]

Thanks for the info. I already made Anthony get rid of the meth I had in the house last night after my last post. But already I'm starting to freak out a little because I no longer have my supply ready for whenever I need it. Its like my body knows there's none left and it doesn't like that. Anthony stayed up most of the night with me because he didn't think I told him where all of meth is and he didn't trust me enough to leave me by myself. Even now he won't let me be alone. If I need to get a drink he follows me while I get one. If I need to use the bathroom he won't even let me close the door. Its actually kind of annoying. Now he won't even let me go to school. He says there's to much of a risk I'll get more meth.

And I've just realized that my own brother doesn't even trust me or my promises anymore. Its sad since he is the only person in my family that I truly love. At least he's still willing to talk to me, so I guess that's something...

[sethieisbestie]

Hey guys this is Anthony. Seth wanted me to give you updates on how he is. Since he was last on last night hes been getting worse. He is still having a lot of withdrawal pains. Hes been pretty out of it and at times has tried to fight me to get him more meth, and other times he has tried to kill himself. He has gotten little sleep. Every time he falls asleep, usually it is only for about an hour before he wakes up crying, saying the demons are coming to kill him again. Once he calms down, then he will either fight me or beg me to kill him. Eventually he falls back asleep and the cycle starts over again.
So theres the update for you. Please if you can keep him in your thoughts and prayers I will be very grateful.

[sethieisbestie]

Note to mods-I will start editing this post with updates unless you give me permission to do consecutive posts, or somebody posts after this one to break the chain.

Hey guys, Anthony again with another update on Seth. He hasnt gotten any worse since yesterday which is a good thing I guess. Ive been getting him to eat and drink stuff, but he still gets mood swings with me. He is also still pretty out of it and still gets the nightmares about the demons. Beyond that I cant really tell you what else is going on inside his head. But like I said, he hasnt gotten any worse so maybe things will only get better from here I hope.
Couple of other things-
For those who might want/care to know how Im doing, Im physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. The only times I get to sleep are when Seth is asleep. I am constantly worrying about him so much that I feel sick. I want to cry every second of the day. I want all of this to be over so I can have the brother that I used to have back, the one before he started doing to stupid drug.
Also Riley sent a text to Seth asking him to come do some meth with him. I called him and told him to f*** off and if he ever talked to Seth or even looked at him again I would put him in the hospital. It did make me feel tiny bit better to yell at him.
And for any of you who might be thinking of doing something as stupid as doing a drug like meth, think about the people who love you and how much its going to hurt them first.
Ok thats about all I can think of right now. Thanks to any of you who have kept Seth in your thoughts and prayers, and I hope I have a better news in the next update.